Hard to tell Sam's home situation, but I know several of the kids I see in my library are kind of caught in limbo: the parents won't (or can't) care for them, but apparently are good enough to keep custody. So the kids end up being raised by siblings/grandparents/aunts, who may or may not even *want* to raise the kids. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Sam's mom is a complete flake (or worse), and Sam's grandmother has had surprise babysitting times dumped on her before. If she was committed to this Christmas party already, I don't think she should have to cancel her plans just because Sam's mom managed to be unavailable.
That said, if the grandmother had made plans ahead of time to pick up Sam, then it's her responsibility. But if it was just falling on her to be the responsible adult because Sam's mother didn't feel like it . . . well, I can have more sympathy for that. It definitely shouldn't have been your place to have to babysit a stranger's kid, but I think full responsiblity (etiquette and legal) rests with Sam's official guardian - whom I assume is his mother.
Ha!! I was TOTALLY looking @ this from the opposite direction b/c this sounds like something my son's grandmother would pull. I have my kids every monday - friday,and every other weekend. They go to their dads' every other weekend from friday night to sunday night. basically 4 days a month.
EVERY visitation weekend this is an issue with DS2's dad. He calls on thursday b/c something has come up and he can't get DS2 until saturday night or not at all. sometimes it's work. a few weeks ago, there was an 'emergency' and he had to go out of town.
I never bothered to ask what the emergency was b/c he does this so often, I didn't care. I have been trying to drill it into his head FOR 10 YEARS that these 4 days are HIS responsibility. Have to work? you need to find a sitter or call out of work. Have other plans? YOU need to find a sitter. 4 days a month is NOT much time to be a dad... so BE A DAD! If I need to work, *I* have to find a sitter or I don't work. It's called being a parent. Figure it out. I have 4 days a month to myself. Withthe Marine living 2 hours away 90% of the time I am planning to be out of town for the weekend. I used to bring DS2 with me for this if I needed to, but with our relationship
the way it is right now, I am choosing not to do this. I make plans with my kids when they are scheduled to be home. I make plans for MYSELF when they are gone. These plans can be changedin a REAL emergency, no problem. He just never has real emergencies - he's too lazy to do what HE is supposed to do.
So, after he called me and told me he had an emergency and couldn't pick up DS2 I lit into him. Finally he called me and told me that his mom was going to pick Maliek up and keep him all weekend, then drop him off @ 6:30 sunday night (normal time). Okay, fine. DS2 gets picked up, I go out of town.
At 11am on Sunday I got a call from DS2's Grandma asking for my dad's cell number. I gave it to her, without asking why (silly me!). At 3:00 I noticed I had a message from her saying that she couldnt get in touch with my parents and she needed to drop Maleik off by 4:00 b/c she had to go to work. And that she didn't have a home phone, so I couldn't call her back, she'd just be waiting for someone to pick up Maleik.
I was 2 hours away and LIVID. I left to head home. at 3:45 I got another call from her, She was @ the store near my parents' house on the pay phone. Apparently, having never gotten in touch with either of my parents, or me, she decided to take maleik to my parents' hosue to drop him off. No one was there. So now she was mad at me AND them b/c no one was there. and come to find out, she didn't really need to go to work, she needed to go to SLEEP so that she could go to work at 4 the next morning.
I told her I was more than an hour away and I couldn't pick DS2 up b/c I had to go home and wait for DS1 to be dropped off (he gets home anywhere between 5:30 and 7:00). She said she was giong home to bed and she wasn't going to worry about how DS2 was going to get home and she hung up.
You have to get up for work in TWELVE HOURS, and you have to drop him off NOW so you can sleep? you can't drop him off in an hour and a half? Man, if I had to go to sleep 12 hours before I had to get up, I would never have time to eat. I'd get home from work @ 4:30 pm and go to bed @ 5pm.
DS2 did not get home until after 11 that night when his dad finally got back to town and dropped him off. Of course, when I talked to his dad @ 4, he was 4 hours away. And when I talked to him again @ 8:30 he made it sound like he had already picked up DS2 but that the roads were bad and that it would take them a while to get to my house, but wouldn't tell me how long. Then I heard his roommate in the background say they were still an hour out of town!
So I'm not sure who is at fault here. Except... I would think if it was the mom, then Grandma would have said "Oh! Sam's mom was supposed to pick him up! you haven't heard from her?"
I just do NOT understand some people. I feel as bad for sam as I feel forDS2 and I am glad the OPs friend was as swet and accommodating as she was for the little tyke.