Author Topic: Should we go to this party?  (Read 9670 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Kiwichick

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1786
  • Is anyone else hungry now?
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #15 on: May 11, 2007, 11:13:51 AM »
Kev, you're looking a bit peaky, I think you might be coming down with something.

Best be on the safe side and send your apologies. >:D

Kev

  • Guest
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #16 on: May 11, 2007, 11:15:24 AM »
Wow, great responses, and good advice. Echoes what we were thinking in general, and I guess we feel better knowing that we're not the ones who are out of line. And I love that Yoda graphic!

I'd like to respond all around, but I'm at work. So, in brief, we are not assuming that nobody else on the invite list agrees with us. I think the comment that the hostess is trying to score points with H and B is bang-on, we've been noticing that they seem to inspire some degree of 'devotion' from certain people! They're charismatic like that. We hadn't noticed it before last fall, but in retrospect, it was always there.

Initially we gave H&B the benefit of the doubt that they didn't know what the Hostess was doing, but my impression was that it was B. who suggested the Bank Machine Map. In truth, I think H. probably doesn't know how far it has gone, and if I told him we were offended, he'd be very apologetic.

I know we shouldn't go, but the rubbernecker and the pragmatist in me are battling it out. I want to see how thoroughly they can mock etiquette and taste, but at the same time, I know I'll have to negotiate a maze of donation jars, money-taking games, gentle pressure and guilt trips. But we have well-developed guiltproof armour :-)

Also complicating matters is that we are the outsiders in this town. The invitee list represents many of the friends we've made here, plus many of those same people attended a pre-wedding event for us last year which had a fundraising element (which we were uncomfortable with). I might argue that attending long enough to give our best wishes, then leaving, might be the best high-moral ground action to take. Although we've been working to expand our social network outside this group over the past year, we'd rather not be the subject of snide comments behind our back, justified or not, or thought of as ungrateful.

If we decide to go, we will give neither money nor explanations. "sorry, we're stretched a bit thin this week" is the most we'll say. I might add that our cash-gift budget is reserved for the two weddings we've been invited to this summer.

I have heard of "bon voyage" parties, but they are usually mostly family events, and usually the vacationer is going for an extended trip... long enough that people would notice they had gone, at least!

Kiwichick

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1786
  • Is anyone else hungry now?
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #17 on: May 11, 2007, 11:19:54 AM »

I know we shouldn't go, but the rubbernecker and the pragmatist in me are battling it out. I want to see how thoroughly they can mock etiquette and taste, but at the same time, I know I'll have to negotiate a maze of donation jars, money-taking games, gentle pressure and guilt trips. But we have well-developed guiltproof armour :-)

Well in that case go without your wallets but with note book, spy camera, and voice recorder and report back here pronto.  If it were me I'd want to make a game of avoiding giving a single penny, but I would donate ALL my old junk.

There's a lot of vicarious living on this site ;).

IndianInlaw

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8887
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #18 on: May 11, 2007, 11:27:19 AM »
If you live where they have international banking, maybe you can get some Japanese yen to give as your donation.  That way you get more bang for your buck.

1 Japanese Yen = 0.008321 US Dollar
1 US Dollar (USD) = 120.175 Japanese Yen (JPY)

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12538
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #19 on: May 11, 2007, 11:56:00 AM »
I would tell them I regret that I cannot make the party but you can't wait to see the pictures when they get back.   Or just go and bring a salad.

Kev

  • Guest
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #20 on: May 11, 2007, 12:03:18 PM »
If we go, I think we'll bring nothing, and just eat before we go.

My other personality responds by saying, since it's a BYOB, we should bring nothing, and just drink before we go.


skipsmama

  • Guest
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #21 on: May 11, 2007, 12:20:46 PM »
Wow, it took me almost 10 minutes to re-hinge my jaw after it dropped onto the floor, so I wasn't able to immediately post my reply...

This scenario is absolutely nuts!  It sounds as if you've already made up your mind, my my first observations are:

* since it's a completely BYO party, why on earth is the "host" requesting an RSVP?
* I think that a nice card with your best wishes to the traveling couple is more than sufficient
* you may never know if the traveling couple was "in" on the extortion attempt, but out of respect to the friendship, I would personally take the high road and assume that they were NOT.

If you *do* go, please please please come back and post about it! 

Bob Ducca

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5334
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #22 on: May 11, 2007, 12:26:06 PM »
Quote
Also complicating matters is that we are the outsiders in this town. The invitee list represents many of the friends we've made here, plus many of those same people attended a pre-wedding event for us last year which had a fundraising element (which we were uncomfortable with). 

This may present a problem...I think there may be an issue of reciprocity.  If this party is being given by the same people who turned your event into a fundraiser, there could be an element of, "What, they're good enough to take our money, but not good enough to give some?"  I don't know if that would realistically be an issue, but I thought I'd mention it...

I definitely think you should widen your circle of friends!  ;)

Kev

  • Guest
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #23 on: May 11, 2007, 12:35:51 PM »
* since it's a completely BYO party, why on earth is the "host" requesting an RSVP?

Well, I can't explain that either, but in the hostesses words: "If you have not yet RSVP'd please remember to do so.  We really need to know how many to expect so that we can plan for everyone." Plan what, i'm not sure... that's the best reason for it i've seen yet.

Did I mention we have also been directed to bring our own chair?

Calbrini

  • Guest
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #24 on: May 11, 2007, 12:42:19 PM »
maybe you could bring some wood to help build the builing its in too

hollasa

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2649
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #25 on: May 11, 2007, 12:42:32 PM »
Well, I can't explain that either, but in the hostesses words: "If you have not yet RSVP'd please remember to do so.  We really need to know how many to expect so that we can plan for everyone." Plan what, i'm not sure... that's the best reason for it i've seen yet.
Plan for the number of thank you cards they'll be bringing, of course - they need to bring the right number, so everyone can fill out their own addresses!

skipsmama

  • Guest
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #26 on: May 11, 2007, 01:06:11 PM »
O*M*G - you have to bring your own *chair* too?!?!?

 ::)

MsEva

  • Guest
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #27 on: May 11, 2007, 04:24:45 PM »
If you live where they have international banking, maybe you can get some Japanese yen to give as your donation.  That way you get more bang for your buck.

1 Japanese Yen = 0.008321 US Dollar
1 US Dollar (USD) = 120.175 Japanese Yen (JPY)


CRUD MONKEYS!, ten buck worth of Yen please and make it all singles!

kathrynne

  • Guest
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #28 on: May 11, 2007, 04:47:48 PM »
Well, I can't explain that either, but in the hostesses words: "If you have not yet RSVP'd please remember to do so.  We really need to know how many to expect so that we can plan for everyone." Plan what, i'm not sure... that's the best reason for it i've seen yet.
Plan for the number of thank you cards they'll be bringing, of course - they need to bring the right number, so everyone can fill out their own addresses!
Since the guests are providing everything else, this is the only logical explanation.

Gads.

ccnumber4

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2052
Re: Should we go to this party?
« Reply #29 on: May 11, 2007, 05:10:17 PM »
* since it's a completely BYO party, why on earth is the "host" requesting an RSVP?

Well, clearly, so they can calculate their "haul" before the actual event.  They do sound very organized, after all.   :-X

Kev, I think the fact that you had to rearrange your schedule to fit this train wreck in is reason enough not to go. 

The rest?  Unbelievable.