Author Topic: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.  (Read 6786 times)

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freakyfemme

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #15 on: January 02, 2007, 11:37:46 AM »
Sometime back (probably on one of the old boards), I posted about a small dinner gathering where the host had not asked about dietary restrictions and I had not volunteered mine.  It became a bigger deal than I meant it to be, and was very awkward. 

Anyway... I guess she knows now!  She selected a restaurant for a larger group of us to dine at for a celebration, The Old Spaghetti Factory.  As the name might suggest, they are a pasta restaurant with a wide variety of pastas, sauces, and salads.  Pretty vegetarian friendly.  Once there in the restaurant at our table for 10, she somewhat loudly asks me if this restaurant would be okay for me in an overly concerned tone.  Notably, one of the people for whom we were celebrating is also a vegetarian.  No special attention was paid to her and she had no input into the restaurant.  It was, again, slightly awkward.  I just told her that of course the restaurant had many choices for me and I was looking forward to my spinach ravioli and thank you for your concern. 

This is a relatively minor breach of etiquette, but I really dislike having unnecessary attention drawn to myself.   

Me too.  I'm a vegetarian, not a toddler, invalid, or purple-skinned alien. ;)
« Last Edit: January 02, 2007, 11:39:36 AM by freakyfemme »

freakyfemme

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #16 on: January 02, 2007, 11:46:55 AM »
There are some people that seem to need to make a bigger fuss than necessary over things that are different to them. Every single time it happens. I think that these kind of people really can't wrap their brains around certain concepts and it's a shock every time they have to think about it. My mother suffers from this.  ::)

Pod.  Some people are so ignorant, when they find out I'm veggie (half the time, I don't even volunteer the information, someone else tells them for me), it goes something like this:

IGNORANT PERSON:  "You mean, you don't eat ANY meat?"

ME:  "That's right."

IP: "Not even.......chicken?  Or.......fish?"

ME:  "No, those both fall into the 'meat' category."

IP:  "Well, what *do* you eat?"

ME:  "Everything else.  Anything that wasn't once a living, sentient being is fair game for me."

IP:  "How do you get enough protein?  You must be anemic and blah, blah, blah."

ME: "Not really, I eat tofu, beans, chick peas, nuts, and I can still have free-range eggs and dairy products, since I'm lacto-ovo.  Besides, most people eat *too much* meat, and too much protein is as unhealthy as too little, if not more so, especially if it's fattening meat."

IP:  "But......you don't eat MEAT!!!!"

ME: "Well, I'm not about to keel over anytime soon, so I must be doing something right."

IP:  "I could never stop eating meat, I just love steak/pork chops/Big Macs too much."

ME (silently, to myself): "Ahh, finally, the truth comes out."

NotCinderell

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #17 on: January 02, 2007, 12:20:09 PM »
Quote
Sometime back (probably on one of the old boards), I posted about a small dinner gathering where the host had not asked about dietary restrictions and I had not volunteered mine.  It became a bigger deal than I meant it to be, and was very awkward. 

This is why I absolutely hate the etiquette rule on this (that one is not to mention one's dietary restrictions if not asked, and then is to pretend one is not hungry).  If you had been able to say upon your first invite, "I just want to let you know, hostess, that I'm vegetarian," then this would not have been a big deal.

emeraldsage85

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #18 on: January 02, 2007, 09:32:00 PM »
There are some people that seem to need to make a bigger fuss than necessary over things that are different to them. Every single time it happens. I think that these kind of people really can't wrap their brains around certain concepts and it's a shock every time they have to think about it. My mother suffers from this.  ::)

Pod.  Some people are so ignorant, when they find out I'm veggie (half the time, I don't even volunteer the information, someone else tells them for me), it goes something like this:

IGNORANT PERSON:  "You mean, you don't eat ANY meat?"

ME:  "That's right."

IP: "Not even.......chicken?  Or.......fish?"

ME:  "No, those both fall into the 'meat' category."

IP:  "Well, what *do* you eat?"

ME:  "Everything else.  Anything that wasn't once a living, sentient being is fair game for me."

IP:  "How do you get enough protein?  You must be anemic and blah, blah, blah."

ME: "Not really, I eat tofu, beans, chick peas, nuts, and I can still have free-range eggs and dairy products, since I'm lacto-ovo.  Besides, most people eat *too much* meat, and too much protein is as unhealthy as too little, if not more so, especially if it's fattening meat."

IP:  "But......you don't eat MEAT!!!!"

ME: "Well, I'm not about to keel over anytime soon, so I must be doing something right."

IP:  "I could never stop eating meat, I just love steak/pork chops/Big Macs too much."

ME (silently, to myself): "Ahh, finally, the truth comes out."

You know, that sounds like a conversation I had with my grandpa when I first became a vegetarian.

Grandpa: So... you're a vegetarian now. Do you eat chicken?

Me: Nope.

Grandpa: Do you eat seafood?

Me: No, I don't eat seafood either.

Grandpa: Well how about lobster?

Me: No, I don't eat lobster.

Grandpa: What about fish? How about cod? Or trout? Or perch? Or jack?..... *and on and on.*

Me: No. I don't eat any fish at all.

Grandpa: What about mackerel? Or salmon? Or tuna?

I think it's time for him to get a hearing aid!  ::)

ccnumber4

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #19 on: January 02, 2007, 10:23:15 PM »
We used to have a Spaghetti Factory here, but I believe it closed.  I think you handled yourself beautifully, by the way.  People like that only end up making themselves look silly. 

orange

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #20 on: January 16, 2007, 06:22:46 AM »
I never knew that me being vegetarian could be such a problem for someone else.  People act as if I'm crazy or as if I'm hurting them by not eating meat.  It's not like I run around and preach that eating meat/fish/chicken is evil (as long as it doesn't affect me, I seriously don't care what anyone else eats).
Another thing I had happen to me is when eating out somewhere, a friend would pick up a piece of meat of his plate and wave it in front of my face saying how delicious and juicy it was and that I should stop "torturing" myself and just have a steak.

A couple of years ago I was working on an indie documentary, and the producers wife was in charge of the catering.  We were having subs for lunch and she was walking around getting everyone to write down what they wanted on theirs.  I was the only vegetarian on set and she seemed to have a problem with it.  She lectured me for like 10 minutes and told me that I'm just going through a phase (at that point I was a vegetarian for about 3 years, so it definitely wasn't a "phase"), and that I'm probably very unhealthy.  Anyways, I ended up writing down that I would like a veggie sub with no meat fish or chicken on it.
Come lunch time she hands me a tuna melt sub.  I thought she mixed up my order with someone elses, but turns out she couldn't watch me "starve" myself so she decided to get me something healthier (?).
I was stunned for about a minute but then sent out a production assistant to get me something else to eat.
I'm sure that in her mind she meant well and all ;D

freakyfemme

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2007, 10:44:12 PM »
I never knew that me being vegetarian could be such a problem for someone else.  People act as if I'm crazy or as if I'm hurting them by not eating meat.  It's not like I run around and preach that eating meat/fish/chicken is evil (as long as it doesn't affect me, I seriously don't care what anyone else eats).
Another thing I had happen to me is when eating out somewhere, a friend would pick up a piece of meat of his plate and wave it in front of my face saying how delicious and juicy it was and that I should stop "torturing" myself and just have a steak.

A couple of years ago I was working on an indie documentary, and the producers wife was in charge of the catering.  We were having subs for lunch and she was walking around getting everyone to write down what they wanted on theirs.  I was the only vegetarian on set and she seemed to have a problem with it.  She lectured me for like 10 minutes and told me that I'm just going through a phase (at that point I was a vegetarian for about 3 years, so it definitely wasn't a "phase"), and that I'm probably very unhealthy.  Anyways, I ended up writing down that I would like a veggie sub with no meat fish or chicken on it.
Come lunch time she hands me a tuna melt sub.  I thought she mixed up my order with someone elses, but turns out she couldn't watch me "starve" myself so she decided to get me something healthier (?).
I was stunned for about a minute but then sent out a production assistant to get me something else to eat.
I'm sure that in her mind she meant well and all ;D

That's crazy.  A veggie sub would be much healthier than a tuna melt sub, because of all the fat in the mayonnaise and the cheese.  That woman most certainly didn't "mean well," she was taking one last passive-aggressive stab at you because she didn't agree wtih your views, after being AGGRESSIVE-aggressive hadn't worked.

cocacola35

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #22 on: January 21, 2007, 04:06:07 PM »
Quote
Sometime back (probably on one of the old boards), I posted about a small dinner gathering where the host had not asked about dietary restrictions and I had not volunteered mine.  It became a bigger deal than I meant it to be, and was very awkward. 

This is why I absolutely hate the etiquette rule on this (that one is not to mention one's dietary restrictions if not asked, and then is to pretend one is not hungry).  If you had been able to say upon your first invite, "I just want to let you know, hostess, that I'm vegetarian," then this would not have been a big deal.

Really?!?   :o  It is considered more polite not to touch the food that the host/hostess has put in front of you than to inform them of your dietary restrictions??  If this is correct, then I would think this is actually being rude to the host.  I know I would feel pretty crummy if someone knew they were coming over for dinner then told me they weren't hungry after I had slaved away to cook a nice dinner for them.  In order to keep the host/hostess from being insulted and to keep the guest from starving that night, by all means inform them of your dietary restrictions!  It would just make both parties happier and more comfortable.

kethria

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #23 on: January 21, 2007, 10:53:04 PM »
When I was living in South America, there was a drink made from "tomate de arbol" (tamarillo or tree tomato) that was very common. Unfortunately I was allergic and when I drank it I would get mouth sores and break out all around my mouth, mostly on my chin.

So I avoided it religiously, but my grandma decided that I needed more "vitamins" and would combine the fruit in other juices, guava, mango, etc.

I would always ask her what it was and she would say "it's GOOD...drink it!"

And the next day when I woke up with giant painful zits all over my face I would know...


Grrrrr

kherbert05

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #24 on: January 21, 2007, 11:47:43 PM »
When I was living in South America, there was a drink made from "tomate de arbol" (tamarillo or tree tomato) that was very common. Unfortunately I was allergic and when I drank it I would get mouth sores and break out all around my mouth, mostly on my chin.

So I avoided it religiously, but my grandma decided that I needed more "vitamins" and would combine the fruit in other juices, guava, mango, etc.

I would always ask her what it was and she would say "it's GOOD...drink it!"

And the next day when I woke up with giant painful zits all over my face I would know...


Grrrrr

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Giving someone food they are allergic to is assult/attempted murder. I've made it clear to those idiots I have to be around that don't get it, or say it is all in my head, or if I was a real Christian - you feed me peanuts I press charges. They believe me and don't do it. Thank God my Family gets it. I might some day throw Sis's SIL in jail over it - but who would really miss Betty.
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aloe

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #25 on: January 21, 2007, 11:54:22 PM »
I'm a vegetarian and embarrassing situations happen to me on a regular basis because of it.

1. My friend's birthday was celebrated at a Thai restaurant.  I explain to the waitress my situation (I also am allergic to eggs) and she narrows down three menu items which are 'safe' for me.  We talk for quite a while.  I felt sure she understood. I order a #14, a big salad with fresh veggies and tofu topped with peanut sauce.  She brings out all the food, and a big salad appears with a huge amount of chicken on top.  Everyone says, "What is that? Nobody ordered that!" It turns out it was MY salad. I had to send it back.  All eyes are on me now, everyone is eating and I am waiting for my food.  It turned out that they brought me the #13 instead of the #14. Then, to make sure, I specified that I wanted a completely new salad, not the old one with just the meat removed.  The new salad came out quickly, though.   I felt very embarrassed by the attention placed on me because of my diet.

2. I attended an event that was catered, and I told the waiter that I was a vegetarian and also that I am allergic to egg.  He brings me a salad with egg and anchovies on it.  I send it back, meanwhile a family member says in an annoyed voice, "What's the big deal? Can't you just remove the fish and egg from the salad and eat it?" People don't understand that I don't want to eat food that meat touched. I felt my face turn red hot, and the evening was spoiled for me.

Whenever possible, I eat at vegetarian or Indian restaurants, as they understand automatically that vegetarian food does not contain chicken broth or fish.  I don't look down on people who eat differently from me, and I like to think that waitstaff understand my needs, but they get it wrong close to a third of the time.
BTW, I am easy to please, and like any food, plain or spicy, as long as it is fresh and doesn't contain meat or egg.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2007, 02:14:12 AM by aloe »

Rach

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #26 on: January 24, 2007, 06:11:07 AM »
Come lunch time she hands me a tuna melt sub.  I thought she mixed up my order with someone elses, but turns out she couldn't watch me "starve" myself so she decided to get me something healthier (?).

Thats crazy, she really would have watched you starve if you had been unable to get something else...

Twik

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #27 on: January 24, 2007, 03:14:55 PM »
Quote
Sometime back (probably on one of the old boards), I posted about a small dinner gathering where the host had not asked about dietary restrictions and I had not volunteered mine.  It became a bigger deal than I meant it to be, and was very awkward. 

This is why I absolutely hate the etiquette rule on this (that one is not to mention one's dietary restrictions if not asked, and then is to pretend one is not hungry).  If you had been able to say upon your first invite, "I just want to let you know, hostess, that I'm vegetarian," then this would not have been a big deal.
Someone has misinformed you. It's not polite to expect people to cater to individual finickiness, so you can't call them up and warn them that, say, you can't bear for the peas and the mashed potatoes to be in contact on the plate, and you'll only eat beef if it's been completely trimmed of all fat, because the least sight of fat gives you vapours. In that case, you'll have to find what you can eat on the plate, and if possible mess it up so the hostess can't detect the remains of the unnaturally cohabitating peas and mashed potatoes.

Actual restrictions, as in vegetarianism or allergies, may be mentioned. As another poster said, I would be mortified if I had spent considerable time and money cooking a meal for a guest, only to find I'd put something in front of them that they could not possibly consume, even with the best will in the world.
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Bethczar

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #28 on: January 24, 2007, 03:51:39 PM »
On the other hand, I have people who assume I'm a vegetarian because I often order things without meat. Usually I order veggie subs, but occationally I'll get a roast beef. 3 times I got a veggie sub when I ordered beef because the person ordering thought I had written down the wrong number.

And don't get me started on the looks I recieve when I order a veggie pizza with bacon. ???

kingsrings

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Re: eep. She remembers that I'm a vegetarian now.
« Reply #29 on: January 24, 2007, 06:06:10 PM »
When I was living in South America, there was a drink made from "tomate de arbol" (tamarillo or tree tomato) that was very common. Unfortunately I was allergic and when I drank it I would get mouth sores and break out all around my mouth, mostly on my chin.

So I avoided it religiously, but my grandma decided that I needed more "vitamins" and would combine the fruit in other juices, guava, mango, etc.

I would always ask her what it was and she would say "it's GOOD...drink it!"

And the next day when I woke up with giant painful zits all over my face I would know...


Grrrrr

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Giving someone food they are allergic to is assult/attempted murder. I've made it clear to those idiots I have to be around that don't get it, or say it is all in my head, or if I was a real Christian - you feed me peanuts I press charges. They believe me and don't do it. Thank God my Family gets it. I might some day throw Sis's SIL in jail over it - but who would really miss Betty.

Very true in your case. But I've got to play Devil's Advocate and say that I have also known a lot of people who seem to fake food allergies to get attention or to be in control. Like they'll say they're allergic to one thing, but then you catch them eating that thing at a different time. Or they'll use it a ruse to control what restaurant a group of people will eat at.