Hi everyone! I haven't been around much the past week or so but I really needed to vent about something. In the past few years DH and I have had a few (maybe 4 or so) friends whose parents have gotten divorced. In all of these cases, the divorcing parents had only grown children who had moved out of the house. I understand that the three years after all the children have grown up and moved out are one of the most common times that couples get divorced, but what I don't understand is the way these divorcing couples are handling the situation. It's as if they think that, because their kids are adults, they shouldn't have any issues with their parents splitting up. Some of these divorcing parents have done things to their children that I actually can't believe. The highlites (or lowlites) include:
1. In one couple, a father who decided that he'd been unhappy in the marriage for years and couldn't stay married now that the kids were gone, but that it was too painful for him to deal with around his kids. So he up and moved. To another country, halfway across the world. He's basically stopped keeping on contact with his kids, so their loving father of three decades has run off and they literally don't know how to reach him.
2. In another couple, the mother decided that, after the divorce, she would move to a totally new city where she new no one and live with her college aged children. So their rent money was paying for their mother to move in and spend all her time complaining about their father.
3. Another couple who didn't bother to keep their children in the loop about what was going on, stated only that they were "having some problems but are trying to work on it" until Thanksgiving morning, when one of the parents called their daughter and asked if, after lunch, daughter could give her a ride to the other parents house, so that they could sign the divorce papers.
I just can't believe these people. I feel like, if their kids were 10, or even 15, they would be behaving totally differently and would take the appropriate steps to reduce the trauma on their children. I don't know why they won't do the same thing here, but it's just awful. I feel terrible for my friends.
Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry to be such a downer.