Neighbors: Moving 'Pigpen'

[Clara Bow]

I'm sorry, there is no way on this earth I would have done one blessed thing for her when I got there and saw that she hadn't lifted a finger and had left the house essentially a toilet. And as far as cleaning while she was reading? Get real honey, I would have let the landlord sue the snot out of her.

[Hushabye]

Darnit, people, just.say.NO!   

[Nurvingiel]

This almost seems fake it's so extreme, actually.

[Tiamet]

I think this woman needs a tattoo up her forearm 'I can say no'.  It doesn't appear that anything less would be sufficient to develop her backbone if she was prepared to clean up faeces and urine for no reason other than 'it was the nice thing to do'.

I would have told Pigpen she needed a professional cleaning company who specialised in completely trashed houses and then gathered up all my friends and gone off to do something fun.

[R_Suerte]

At Church, I've been involved in countless moves.  My rule is "We are only here to provide muscle.  We don't clean or pack anything."  Most people are ready and we can move them fast.  We loaded and unloaded a 2 bedroom apartment in 30 minutes once. (That person had everything boxed and labelled.)

There was been a few times when I have shown up, seen the lack of preparation, and told people we could not/would not help them move.

[Corbin]

The only time I could see myself doing something like this is if

A). the person being moved was a very very close family member
B). there was an excuse for the condition of thier home (mental or physical illness)
C). they expressed a huge amount of gratitude.


Otherwise, no dice.

[twinkletoes]

The only time I could see myself doing something like this is if

A). the person being moved was a very very close family member
B). there was an excuse for the condition of thier home (mental or physical illness)
C). they expressed a huge amount of gratitude.


Otherwise, no dice.

Maybe D - they gave me an organ or a LOT of cash. 

Other than that?  I don't feel sorry for the LW.  I mean, COME ON!  Animal feces?  They're expected to paint her house and refurbish it, too?  Uh, no. 

I would have been so disgusted that I would have left.  DH once helped out a friend with a similar set-up (although luckily, no feces were involved).  He came to help a friend move, and when DH walked in, he was convinced he had the wrong date because the friend hadn't packed A THING. 

[Nurvingiel]

What was the outcome Twinkletoes? Was it actually the wrong date? Did your husband just leave?

I do feel badly for the LW. At some point, the LW became convinced that he couldn't stand up for himself ever, and that his time was worth less than everyone else's. I think that's sad.

Stories like this still drive me 'round the twist though.

[twinkletoes]

What was the outcome Twinkletoes? Was it actually the wrong date? Did your husband just leave?

I do feel badly for the LW. At some point, the LW became convinced that he couldn't stand up for himself ever, and that his time was worth less than everyone else's. I think that's sad.

Stories like this still drive me 'round the twist though.

I think he wound up taking some of the big stuff that can't be packed up, like his friend's sofa, table, etc., and left his friend to pack up everything else on his own. 

[Nurvingiel]

That's a very fair and reasonable solution.

[officeworker]

Honestly--and this may sound very shallow--I don't think I could be friends with someone who was so unclean (well, if it was due only to laziness, not some mental problem).  Smells really, really get to me, and when your house is that filthy with pet waste, the smell lingers in your hair and clothing.  Even if she found a way to get rid of the smell when she was out of the house, I'd never be able to go visit her in her home.  If I knew she had some kind of problem that contributed to the filth, I'd try to help her, but in this case it just sounds like extreme laziness.

I just can't imagine that a house could get to the point described in the OP without the homeowner/dweller being mentally ill. My grandmother's house was pretty much exactly as the house described in the OP (with the addition of massive amounts of old papers, magazines, plastic bags etc., as well as rat feces) but she was mentally ill. I can see lots of clutter and unwashed dishes and laundry, but animal waste...I can't see a sane person letting that happen. But I suppose it could.

I concur with the likelihood of a mental condition.  I HAVE cleaned out 2 houses and 1 apartment that were in that state (yes, animal feces, live rodents, and all) and in both cases they had a serious mental illness.

[jenny_islander]

This almost seems fake it's so extreme, actually.

I knew a family who bought a house that was essentially like that.  They had to rip out all of the carpet and sand the floors and the lower two feet or so of the walls in order to get rid of the cat stench.  On the other hand, the place was a bargain and they were able to redecorate exactly as they pleased.

I also knew of a man who used to skin and butcher deer in his living room.  At least he bled them where he shot them.  Again, the next owner of the house got a bargain.

[RedWolf]

I just now saw this thread, and wait! I moved my MIL and cleaned out DH's dad and step-mom's house - why is someone else taking the credit? 

Seriously. MIL was supposed to have everything packed, and "there won't be much." What should have been a two or three-hour event took all day, with us packing while she went through family photos, checked e-mail (she hadn't even unhooked her computer), etc. We didn't help unpack, though - we basically deposited the boxes in her new place and said, "It's a long drive home." Hot showers were in order when we got home, because the old place was filled with rodent droppings.

The dad and step-mom's old house was worse. They never cleaned, never threw anything away. They'd moved out of this house 12-13 years previously but retained ownership and did not rent it out. There were old 2-liter soda bottles, chip containers, candy boxes, etc., all over the floor. You literally could not see the floor; garbage was 1-2 feet deep in places. And you could tell by the package styles that they were still there from when the couple lived there years ago. No mental illness; it was sheer laziness. The feminine product I found had not been used, but it was open. And there was cat and rat waste everywhere.

On both occasions, I wanted to leave, but there are some things we (DH and I) do - well, just because. (He's the most efficient/willing to help family; I help for his sake.) But according to the PILs, I'm The Best DIL. 

[ladycrim]

I just now saw this thread, and wait! I moved my MIL and cleaned out DH's dad and step-mom's house - why is someone else taking the credit? 

Seriously. MIL was supposed to have everything packed, and "there won't be much." What should have been a two or three-hour event took all day, with us packing while she went through family photos, checked e-mail (she hadn't even unhooked her computer), etc. We didn't help unpack, though - we basically deposited the boxes in her new place and said, "It's a long drive home." Hot showers were in order when we got home, because the old place was filled with rodent droppings.

The dad and step-mom's old house was worse. They never cleaned, never threw anything away. They'd moved out of this house 12-13 years previously but retained ownership and did not rent it out. There were old 2-liter soda bottles, chip containers, candy boxes, etc., all over the floor. You literally could not see the floor; garbage was 1-2 feet deep in places. And you could tell by the package styles that they were still there from when the couple lived there years ago. No mental illness; it was sheer laziness. The feminine product I found had not been used, but it was open. And there was cat and rat waste everywhere.

On both occasions, I wanted to leave, but there are some things we (DH and I) do - well, just because. (He's the most efficient/willing to help family; I help for his sake.) But according to the PILs, I'm The Best DIL. 

Such situations are definitely harder to walk out on when it's the parents/ILs.

[crazedartist]

What really slays me is that she enlisted non-mutual friends to help Pigpen out. It's amazing they helped at all considering what they encountered. Even if Pigpen wasn't, I sure hope the Middleman Friend (OP) was sufficiently grateful to that set of friends...