Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 220260 times)

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MommyPenguin

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1395 on: December 08, 2014, 09:24:39 PM »
The hat sounds adorable, Piratelvr.  :)

My 2-year-old has a crib with a crib tent on it, which includes netting on the sides (otherwise she'll escape and go climb up to the top bunk to hang out with her sister).  She also has two special animals: a giant penguin and a giant Elmo (I think it's an old Tickle Me Elmo).  Both are almost as big as she is, which is apparently her taste in stuffed animals.

One of her favorite things, when I tuck her in at bedtime, is to press her face against the netting at the side of the crib for me to give her a kiss.  So today I came over after tucking the others in and said, "Kiss?" and went to press my face against the netting.

She said, "No!  Elmo!" and suddenly I find myself kissing the gigantic open mouth of Tickle Me Elmo, who is pressed against the netting instead of my daughter.  So I kissed Elmo, then said, "Okay, now Megan!"  "No!  Wah-ah!" and pressed the penguin against the netting.  So I had to kiss the penguin through the netting, too.  *Then* and only then did I get to kiss my daughter.  :)

Jones

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1396 on: December 08, 2014, 09:37:11 PM »
DS age 3 is in preschool. Tonight the preschool had a special Santa meet (and parent mingle). Santa was in a room at the end of a hall. So we get up there, and I've let DS use my phone to take pics of Santa from the doorway to help with anticipation, when DS suddenly decides he's not going to say hello. He's not going to shake hands or fist bump. He won't take a picture of Santa talking to Mommy. He's going to dive under the chair.

Declining to take a picture of his rear sticking out by Santa's left boot, I gathered him and our pride and we backed out of the room. He saw Mrs. Clause hand over a matchbox car, and wanted to play with it. I said no, he didn't get it because he didn't say Thank You to Santa.

At which point he raced back past the waiting line, shouted "Daaank YouuuUUUU" through the doorway, and took off again back up the hall as though a fire was burning at his heels.

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1397 on: December 09, 2014, 02:29:37 AM »
this weekend, DS's school had their "hotcakes with Santa" fundraiser. It's a pancake breakfast/bake sale, with a line to see and take a picture with Santa. We were eating when his teacher came by and asked if DS had seen Santa yet (thinking the big guy would be a major draw for a 6yo). DS looked up and said, "No. I'm just here for the hotcakes."

we actually did not end up doing pictured, and DS was totally fine with it. He got his pancakes, we bought some cookies, and that was good enough for him. After we were done eating, I asked if he wanted to see Santa and he replied, "ummm, nah. That line's pretty long. I'm gonna go say hi to Friend."
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Gyburc

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1398 on: December 09, 2014, 06:19:22 AM »
Little G is just starting to say his first recognizable words. It's very cute. He knows that a bear in one of his storybooks says 'Grrr' and usually says it for us.

The first words we actually noticed were when the three of us were in the living room, and Little G was cruising round the sofa as usual. He slipped slightly and went down bump! on his little bottom. Without thinking, DH and I did the traditional 'Oh dear! What a bump!'

...and a little voice answered us: 'Ohhh durrrr'.  :) I hadn't realised that we said that quite so often!
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mmswm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1399 on: December 14, 2014, 11:41:10 PM »
I'm having a bad day health wise, and middle child was kind enough to help out by cooking dinner all by himself.  This was totally awesome of him, however, I couldn't help but laugh when I overheard the following conversation between middle child and bf:

MC:  Arg!  Where are my brothers!  They just saw me putting food on the table, and even helped me set it!  They knew dinner was ready!  Where'd they go?
BF:  Frustrating being a mom sometimes, isn't it? *chuckle*
MC: What?  I never do that to mom.
BF: Ummmm.....

Meanwhile, I'm dying laughing, because middle child is one of the worst offenders with that particular issue.
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ladyknight1

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1400 on: December 15, 2014, 09:42:15 AM »
I painted my fingernails last night, base coat, two coats of OPI red, a gold confetti coat, top coat. I went to bed.

Me: I dreamt that my fingernail polish fell off, so when I woke up, that's the first thing I looked at.
DS: That's not a dream, that's a nightmare!

DS had been complaining about the smell of the polish, even though I had the windows open and he and his father are generally the odoriferous culprits.

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1401 on: December 15, 2014, 09:39:02 PM »
My kidlets love knock knock jokes. At 6, 3 they're not that good. But I am a good Mom, so I laugh anyway.

The other day Baby (2yo) decided to take a shot. His joke seriously make me laugh.

B: Knock Knock
M: Who's there?
B: Monkey.
M: Monkey who?
B: Monkey in tree....Nooooo. I trick you, I trick you
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

shygirl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1402 on: December 16, 2014, 10:08:15 AM »
My kidlets love knock knock jokes. At 6, 3 they're not that good. But I am a good Mom, so I laugh anyway.

The other day Baby (2yo) decided to take a shot. His joke seriously make me laugh.

B: Knock Knock
M: Who's there?
B: Monkey.
M: Monkey who?
B: Monkey in tree....Nooooo. I trick you, I trick you

Ha ha!  My son (4yo) told me a "good" one recently.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
A train!
A train who?
Choo choo!

That one seriously made me laugh too.

shygirl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1403 on: December 16, 2014, 10:16:57 AM »
Here's another good one from my son:

Mommy, the food I eat turns into my poop!

guihong

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1404 on: December 16, 2014, 05:18:52 PM »
Last night at the pool, a little boy about 3 turned to his mother and spoke in a Very Serious Voice loud enough for the entire room to hear: "Mommy, I have something to tell you.  The last time I went poopy, I got some stuck on my butt!"  Mom said "OK, next time that happens, we'll check to make sure there's none, OK?"  Son was satisfied.

Later on, they were in a dressing cubby when his Very Serious Voice boomed out again, "Mommy!  You are BIG!"  ;D



ladyknight1

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1405 on: Yesterday at 08:09:24 AM »
Here's another good one from my son:

Mommy, the food I eat turns into my poop!

I know adults who haven't figured that out yet.

Elfmama

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1406 on: Yesterday at 10:26:24 AM »
I remember, at about age 6 or 7, reading a kid's book about the body and its various parts.  And telling my mom all excited, about the blood with its tiny little red bits, and the arteries and veins and caterpillaries.
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shygirl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1407 on: Yesterday at 10:54:28 AM »
Last night at the pool, a little boy about 3 turned to his mother and spoke in a Very Serious Voice loud enough for the entire room to hear: "Mommy, I have something to tell you.  The last time I went poopy, I got some stuck on my butt!"  Mom said "OK, next time that happens, we'll check to make sure there's none, OK?"  Son was satisfied.

Later on, they were in a dressing cubby when his Very Serious Voice boomed out again, "Mommy!  You are BIG!"  ;D

HA!  Why do they always say these things in the loudest voice possible?  Recently, I was in a dressing room at Kohl's with my son (4yo).  I was trying on pants, so my son announces "MOMMY YOU ARE NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!"

Thanks for alerting all of Kohls, kid.