Both of us do the, 'I can't hear you without my glasses' routine. It's nice to know it's so common.
When I was a child, a relative was notorious for saying things that were just a little off. Her name was Loretta and the things she would say became known as 'Lorettaisms' in the family.
A few days before the Wedding of her son, Loretta complained that the whole household was, 'Running around like chickens with our hats off'.
When son and his bride were furnishing their new home, Loretta proudly announced that they'd bought a, 'Sexual sofa. You know, the kind that comes is pieces you can arrange'.
After recovering from a cold, Loretta would complain about an annoying, 'Post-natal drip'.
She was also known to equate things as, 'half of one, six dozen of the other'.