Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

[Esther_bunny]

Vorbau- I read your story twice. The second time I was picturing Stephanie Plum and Lula.
Great story!

[hot_shaker]

PS glad you all liked the squirrel puddles! I have another one but it involves body parts and a county landfill, so might be a bit much. (Actually I have a lot of them - occupational hazard.)

The grosser, the better!

Squirrel puddle, he he he.

Actually, I think I find "squirrel puddle" to be so funny because both the words "squirrel " and "puddle" are pretty funny sounding by themselves.  Poor squirrels though . . . 

[Céline LeChat]

Two stories here...

1) A cousin of mine had a rat for a pet, who died after a long and (hopefully) happy life. There is an animal cemetery near my grandparent's secondary house, so she wrapped her dead pet in a number of plastic bags, a shoe box, another plastic bag, sealed it and disinfected the whole thing, and kept it in the freezer..
She spent a night with us before leaving for my grandparent's house, and we kept the box in our freezer.
Enter my husband, who asks my cousin "... and how is Socrates?"
"He's dead, he's in your freezer."

We got some odd looks the following morning, when I called after my cousin who was helping me load the car:
"Don't forget your rat in the freezer!"


2) My parents bought a secondary home a few years ago, which had been inhabited by someone who was... well...
There was a 10 foot pile a garbage bags and 2 old cars stuffed full with empty beer cans on the lawn before the house.
And... when we started our vegetable patch, we discovered his "private animal cemetery" (3 horses, 2 dogs).

[dutifuldaughter]

I was giving the dog his last walk of the night, and he stopped to do his business.  I bent over to pick it up with the plastic bag and stepped under the streetlight to get a quick look at it (already TMI, but I like to check that what's coming out of the dog is what I saw go into the dog - i.e. no foreign matter allowed).  To my horror the pile was MOVING!    I yelped "Oh my God, he must have some kind of horrible parasite!"  and nearly swept him up and off to the vet then and there until I realized that I had managed to pick up several large, greasy slugs along with the ... business.

I hate slugs, so I didn't feel sorry for them, but it would be a nasty way to go.

[wonderfullyanonymous]

I am so loving these stories, and I am not even sure why. Up until a few days ago, I didn't have anything to add.

PossibleWay too much TMI!!!

I realize that public bathrooms are for all types of "business", but on this particular day, myself and 2 co-workers almost lost our lunches. I have a very sensitive gag reflex, which is triggered by bad smells. On this particular day, I went into the bathroom, then co-worker one, then person who chose the stall closest to the door for their smelly business, and then co-worker #2.

Person in 1st stall proceeded to vocally (with her mouth,) gotta love people who talk to themselves while doing their business, "fumigate" the bathroom. I was in the 2nd set of stalls which is seperated from the 1st set by a wall. When I came out of the stall, and around the corner, I was ambushed by the smell. I took a quick breath and started washing my hands. I knew I was not going to be able to finish rinsing, and just grabbed some paper towels, and beelined for the door. Co-Worker # 1 came out of her stall as I was making my dash for the door, and she followed me.
She didn't was her hands in the bathroom, but said she was going into our breakroom to wash. Co-Worker #2 caught up to me as I got to my dept, and she was trying really hard to not gag. I have smelled dead rotting animals that did not smell that bad.


P.S. I love the phrase squirrel puddles.

[vorbau]

Two stories here...

1) A cousin of mine had a rat for a pet, who died after a long and (hopefully) happy life. There is an animal cemetery near my grandparent's secondary house, so she wrapped her dead pet in a number of plastic bags, a shoe box, another plastic bag, sealed it and disinfected the whole thing, and kept it in the freezer..
She spent a night with us before leaving for my grandparent's house, and we kept the box in our freezer.
Enter my husband, who asks my cousin "... and how is Socrates?"
"He's dead, he's in your freezer."

We got some odd looks the following morning, when I called after my cousin who was helping me load the car:
"Don't forget your rat in the freezer!"


2) My parents bought a secondary home a few years ago, which had been inhabited by someone who was... well...
There was a 10 foot pile a garbage bags and 2 old cars stuffed full with empty beer cans on the lawn before the house.
And... when we started our vegetable patch, we discovered his "private animal cemetery" (3 horses, 2 dogs).

The professor who taught my forensic entomology seminar told us about coming home one night to a note on the fridge:

"Dad, you're going to have to do something with that dead rat in the freezer, it's making the ice cream taste funny. Love, Christy."

[willowz]

I found a very flat squirrel in my driveway literally just a pancake.  DH took a shovel and tossed it in the woods.  The next day I found the same flat squirrel in my laundry room where kitty had dragged it.  DH again gets a shovel and tosses it out to the woods.  Finally the flat squirrel appeared again in driveway and DH buried the poor thing. After each appearance it looked rattier than ever with bits of fur and things hanging off it.

[Shoo]

The professor who taught my forensic entomology seminar told us about coming home one night to a note on the fridge:

"Dad, you're going to have to do something with that dead rat in the freezer, it's making the ice cream taste funny. Love, Christy."

I think this one right here is the winner.  Good heavens, this is disgusting!!

[Reika]

Oddly enough though, either my stomach toughened up after that, or I'm just not affected by some things that gross others out.  A few years later, I had the flu again while we were dissecting pigs in Biology. 

This reminded me of a story that a friend of mine and a high school buddy of his did to a couple of girls they wanted to get back at for something (and yes, the mental image is a bit gross). They were dissecting some sort of shark in class, so the two "jokers" brought in a small bag of fishsticks and ate them while in class, making the girls think they were pulling things out of the sharking and eating them. I remember they got in trouble, but apparently they thought it was still worth it.

[hot_shaker]

I found a very flat squirrel in my driveway literally just a pancake.  DH took a shovel and tossed it in the woods.  The next day I found the same flat squirrel in my laundry room where kitty had dragged it.  DH again gets a shovel and tosses it out to the woods.  Finally the flat squirrel appeared again in driveway and DH buried the poor thing. After each appearance it looked rattier than ever with bits of fur and things hanging off it.

Oh dear, that's like a gruesome version of Flat Stanley.

[hermanne]

The professor who taught my forensic entomology seminar told us about coming home one night to a note on the fridge:

"Dad, you're going to have to do something with that dead rat in the freezer, it's making the ice cream taste funny. Love, Christy."

I think this one right here is the winner.  Good heavens, this is disgusting!!

This one, especially the bolded part, made me then   .

[vorbau]

The professor who taught my forensic entomology seminar told us about coming home one night to a note on the fridge:

"Dad, you're going to have to do something with that dead rat in the freezer, it's making the ice cream taste funny. Love, Christy."

I think this one right here is the winner.  Good heavens, this is disgusting!!

This one, especially the bolded part, made me then .

I'll explain real quick - he is a professor of entomology, but back when I took his class (1990s) his university wasn't convinced that forensic entomology was worth university money. So he did all his research, etc on his own, supporting it by teaching seminars to various law enforcement agencies and other colleges that had forensic or criminal justice programs. His lab is in the basement of his mother's house and his archives in the basement of his own house. Since he didn't have much funding, he had to take specimens when and where he could find them and then store them until he could process them, since he carried a full teaching and research load for his "regular" job. Hence the dead rat in the freezer next to the ice cream.

Christy, his daughter, was about 9 at the time of the note. She's now completing her PhD and is his assistant for all his forensic seminars. And he's now at a different university and has plenty of grants to fund his work! Yay Neil!

I'll post some other goodies tomorrow...I think I have a couple more that involve squirrel puddles, or the equivalent.

[housewife2k]

For the record, I have spent the last week or so wandering around and giggling to myself while saying "squirrel puddles". I have even gotten other people to say it, they hve no clue why, but they are. It is almost becoming a replacement swear word in my group of friends now.

[Punky B.]

For the record, I have spent the last week or so wandering around and giggling to myself while saying "squirrel puddles". I have even gotten other people to say it, they hve no clue why, but they are. It is almost becoming a replacement swear word in my group of friends now.

And has now become a substitute swear word here.  What a great application!

[vorbau]

I will have to tell JM this next time I see her. She will be so honored to know she is part of E-Hell history. 

Somehow, this makes getting squirrel bits in my hair worth it all.