Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

[Reika]

I feel/smell your pain...  Upping your diet to mainly fiber has some interesting results.

Yeah, I bet.

In my case my body has decided that it doesn't need to store all this fat anymore and needs to get rid of it...quickly. 

[Reddie321]

One Christmas one of our cats coughed up a hair ball on the Christmas Tree skirt. It had apparently been there for quite some time b/c it was dry and hard. My mom got down and removed it and w/out looking handed it back to me to throw away. Our dog was quicker and snatched it right out of her hand and ate it. Merry Christmas!

Mind if I top this one? 

My mom told this story from her childhood.  They had a cat that LOVED sitting under the Christmas tree.  Well, my grandmother was apparently johnny-on-the-spot with Christmas presents one year, and had all the presents wrapped and under the tree about a week before Christmas...and never questioned the cat's presence.  Until Christmas morning when she started handing out presents...several of them were "glued" together with dried cat vomit, with some maggots for a festive touch!

[nliedel]

I swore I'd not touch this thread with a ten foot poll and yet, here I am, putting this on the internet for all eternity.

My dog ate a poopy diaper. She's a husky. We put the used wipes in the diaper. She was circling and whining and could not poop. I looked. Close eyes here. She had a baby-wipe coming out of her butt. I got an old wash clothe and pulled it out. Up came another. It was a really bad poop and there were maybe nine baby-wipes in all. Now we call her the dog with the pop-up baby-wipe hind end. I still get icked out by that.

[thebeckster]

Sounds like the Kleenex cover that has the tissues coming out of the nose, but for baby wipes!!

[loomadoom]

I read this to Kiwiguy.  His parents walked in on him smeared from head to toe in his own cr@p.  And he'd smeared it all over himself, his clothes, his toys, his playpen...

They were horrified, he was grinning from ear to ear.  He reckons it's just like warm mud.

I  had a similar experience involving an urelated (to me) adult. I was working night shift on the violent ward in a mental hospital at the time. One of our few permanent patients went into her manic phase and on her period at the same time (they frequently and unpredictably coincided). We put her into wristlets as usual so she couldn't reach out and smack anyone and left her free to stride around and sing bits of songs -- think Ktel ad -- until lights out, when we took off the wristlets and put her into an isolation room so the other patients could sleep. We checked her every 20 minutes. I don't know how she did this in such a short time, but when we checked her round toward morning she had had diarrhea and fingerpainted with it all over both sides of her mattress, the door, the walls as far as she could reach (and she was one tall lady), and had soaked her gown in it and was throwing it at the ceiling.

We did not wake the patients and get them dressed that morning. When the day shift came in the patient was showered (she fought) and locked into another isolation room and two of us, soaked and in hospital clothing, were still mopping and wiping down the walls while the third kept an eye on the rest of the patients, passed out clothes to anyone who got up, and did the count checks and morning report with day shift. They, bless them, did not make us stay to complete the cleanup but let us go home to shower. That's the only time it's taken me more than 6 buckets of water to clean a 5x8 room, and I sincerely hope it is the last.

Modified because I do know to remove all the debris when I change my mind.

[Midnight Kitty]

Vorbau- I read your story twice. The second time I was picturing Stephanie Plum and Lula.
Great story!

Two of my favorite characters, hannah_cat

Vorbau's writing style is similar to Janet Evanovich's.  All we need now is a car blowing up

[kingsrings]

Gross thing I witnessed when I worked food service jobs in high school:

Pizza place:

I heard this through the grapevine, didn't actually witness it. We had a large white bucket of pickles in their own juice. A co-worker announced he had to take a pee break one time, and he was dared to pee into the bucket. And he obliged.

A frequent customer-from-hell used to come in late at night, and do eveything he could to be difficult on purpose. One time upon seeing that the salad bar had been put away for the night, he announced that he wanted a sald, and we had to open up the salad bar again because it was still operating house. The pickle bucket pee-er spit into his salad.

Another customer-from-hell: the shift supervisor he had threatened to harm spit a big one onto his pizza as he was making it, I witnessed this.

One time, a big pile of pizza pans fell off of their rack onto the dirty floor. An employee just put them right back into the rack without washing them first.


At the burger/soft serve place:

We had a cook who, in down times, liked to lean against the wall and pick his teeth. When an order came up, he would go right to making the food without washing his hands first.

An empployee was making a Blizzard for a customer and was mixing it up with a big, plastic spoon. Right in front of the customer and our boss, she took out the spoon, licked it clean, and put it back into the Blizzard. Our boss made the customer a new one, and fired the employee.

[Outdoor Girl]

My Dad does taxidermy as a hobby.  There were all manner of things in our freezer growing up.  We even bought an extra freezer to dedicate to the specimens but my Mom kept putting food in there.  So Mom would take a package of meat out for supper, only to discover at suppertime that it was some critter or other.  So we'd have eggs for supper and Dad would have to skin whatever critter it was since it had been thawed.  Fish, ducks, owls, other birds, weasels, raccoons, skunks - you name it, it was probably in the freezer at some point.

My brother is a fisheries biologist.  We've had little bottles of minnows pickled in formalin in the basement for years.  Dad finally took them to the hazardous waste depot to get rid of them.

And a note for anyone who might be nauseous?  DO NOT eat tomato soup.  I just discovered this one the last time I had a migraine.  I thought I was fine - soup for dinner is supposed to be calming, right?  Not so much when it comes back out.

[Shoo]

Yesterday I was at my neighbor's house, and I saw that in her backyard was this HUGE mole hill.  It was the biggest mole hill I have ever seen in my life.  Being that I love setting traps and executing moles, I offered to help her set a trap the next day and get rid of it.  But first, she'd want to get a bucket and clear out some of that dirt, because there was just so much of it.

Well, she came over to my house today and I invited her in, and she just stood there sort of shocked looking and asked me to please come and see what she unearthed while clearing out the dirt from the mole hill.  Would I be able to tell what it was?  She was freaking out because it was a DEAD something!

Intrigued, I ran over there as fast as I could!  I wondered if it was some super mole I'd never encountered before!  I put my disposable gloves on and sort of moved the dead thing around a bit, and was able to determine that this dead critter was not a mole, but, rather, a cat.  Correction.  Half a cat.

The back half of the cat could clearly be seen once more of the dirt was removed.  There were the long hind legs, and the even longer tail.  The fur was gray.  The question was, where was the front half of this cat?  The cat was decomposing, of course, but it looked to me to be pretty fresh, because there was still blood and guts. 

Got down on my knees and started digging.  Didn't find the front half of the cat, but I did find a mole tunnel.  It was about two inches in diameter, so it was still a pretty good sized mole! 

My theory is the cat stalked the mole and went after it when it popped out of its mole hill.  The cat dug like crazy to get to the mole, which is what made the mole hill so darned huge, and chased the mole down its tunnel.  The poor cat probably got its head and front end stuck in the little mole tunnel and suffocated.  We presumed the mole (and his buddies?) took what they could of the cat and are enjoying a cat buffet down in their mole tunnels somewhere.

The worst part of it all?  My neighbor thinks it might be their cat.  They have three, which are in and out all the time, and she doesn't think she's seen this particular gray kitty in a few days.

[Bibliophile]

Oh Shoo....  that's terrible!   

[kingsrings]

That's terrible and so sad! And such a bizarre death.....

[kingsrings]

I've had a very gross morning. I am house and dog sitting for a great dane. She sleeps indoors, in a crate, in the same bedroom as I do. This morning she had a lovely bout of diarrhea - in her crate. I heard her moving around in there, but didn't realize that she was about to let loose. Why she didn't bark to let me know she had to go big poo-poo I don't know! And I'm hitting myself for not being alert enough to realize that once she was all moving around like she never does. You ever see big, great dane-sized diarrhea?? All over her crate mattress and the liner underneath, then because she stepped in it it got somewhat on the carpet when she walked out. I ahve spent all morning dragging the poopy mattress outdoors, hosing it off first because it was sooo much poop, then trying to drag it into the washing machine, which was another battle trying to get the machine to take it. I was dry-heaving, it was so big, gross, and smelly. I'll probably have to run the wash cycle twice on it, it's so bad. And I still have to wash the liner and carpet, which I'll have to do after work this afternoon.

This has been the most disgusting morning of my life, I think. 

[juicy_fruit_kisses]

You ever see big, great dane-sized diarrhea??

Yes.  I walked into that same situation while doggy-sitting my co-worker's Great Dane.  Thankfully he was still a puppy (but still pretty big!) and I used to work in a Pet Store so dog poop doesn't gross me out.

My co-worker bought my coffees for a week after that. 

[kingsrings]

I'm hoping that maybe the owners will tack on a little extra $$ to my house/dog-sitting fee to make up for having to clean up their dog's humongous diarrhea poop. I talked to them this morning, and they said that now I know if she stirs again in the night, to get up and let her out. Sometimes the only way you learn a lesson is the hard way I guess. 

[Mrs.E]

I know how you feel. I had my mastiff/lab 110lb dog get the runs one night. The only difference is that he was loose in the kitchen and it was everywhere! I actually did end up throwing up about 3 time trying to clean it.

At least it was right by the back door so I know he wanted to go out but just couldn't work the dang handle!