A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Humor Me!

Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

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KimberlyM:

--- Quote from: diesel_darlin on April 05, 2013, 07:54:58 PM ---My daddy has been in the hospital for the last week with kidney stones and their assorted complications. He tried to pee in the bottle they give you, and missed. So who was a good daughter and cleaned it up? I was proud of myself because for once in my life my overactive gag reflex left me alone.  ;D

--- End quote ---

I feel for you!  My dad had back surgery a couple weeks ago and then got 2 hernias they can't repair until his back heals, so I am treated to detailed descriptions of his swollen black testicle by both him and my husband (who kindly helps with not safe for daughter stuff).  I know more about my dad's testicles at this point than I ever cared to!

snowfire:
There are some things about your parents that you just DON'T want to know.  :o :o :o

StarDrifter:

--- Quote from: snowfire on April 08, 2013, 11:19:58 PM ---There are some things about your parents that you just DON'T want to know.  :o :o :o

--- End quote ---

Oh hell yes - a few years ago, when I was still in high school (okay, so about a decade ago...) my Dad was working delivering natural gas to remote locations, which involved driving a tanker full of gas to houses without natural gas pipelines and then pumping the gas into the bottles at the houses.

The people who owned the bottles were *supposed* to get their bottles checked by their fire brigades every 12 months and have their tags punched (a metal tag on the neck of the bottle) but some people were cheap/idiots and instead of getting the bottles you know, checked to ensure they were safe for continued use, they would just punch the holes themselves and think 'eh, close enough'.

Because they were totally qualified to tell that a gas bottle was safe for continued use. But I digress.

So! Dad hooked up the hose and then picked up the remote, and performed the usual check, which is a single tap to check the pressure is correct and KABLAM! the seal on the top of the gas bottle explodes, and Dad is blasted from navel-to-knee by liquid petroleum gas - about the same temperature as liquid nitrogen.

Thankfully, the homeowners were *at home* and Dad was able to get himself into a tepid shower while they called the ambulance.

The gross out part? Dad *insisted* on showing EVERYONE all of his burns and blisters as they healed.

From navel to knee.

Did I mention that the hospital he stayed in for a week was on my way home from school, and more than once I'd have a friend with me when I visited him?

Dad! Flashing my friends is NOT COOL! (he thought it was hilarious, and he did have a kind of adult diaper-thing on so they didn't see anything untoward) but as the blisters popped and some of the burns got infected... ugh. Green pus, angry red nasties... third degree burns on fragile skin. Miraculously, he doesn't have many scars from that incident.

And yes - the people who had punched their own safety-check card copped a rather large fine (think five figures) and are no longer eligible for natural gas deliveries from any supplier in the state.

diesel_darlin:
StarDrifter, I almost thought you were describing my dad, except for the fact that he hauls fertilizer instead of natural gas.  ;D

I am glad your dad healed up well!

KimberlyM, ouch! I cant even... just ouch! And kudos to your hubby :)

Outdoor Girl:
My Dad was staying with me when he had his hip replacement.  They recommended having a shower the night before the surgery so he set out to do that.  And fell in my bathtub.  I had to help him up.  Tramatized, I was.

A nurse came in to change his dressing but she didn't do a very good job and I had to redo it.  I got him to put a pair of underwear on his good side so he could hold it up and over the salient bits and I managed to change the dressing without getting an eyeful.

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