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Author Topic: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart  (Read 1986973 times)

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magicdomino

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3855 on: May 08, 2013, 10:17:17 AM »
Now I'm off to introduce myself formally elsewhere, I just had to get this first batch of gross out of the way.

That's usually the best thing to do with gross stuff.   :)  Welcome to the board!

ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3856 on: May 08, 2013, 10:35:22 AM »
Oh my goodness, I don't think I could be a groomer.

I have a cutaneous horn on my right eyelid. The ophthalmologist said it could be cancerous. I can't wait to get rid of it.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
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Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3857 on: May 08, 2013, 12:36:19 PM »
I've seen a dog that had eaten pantyhose. They go through the digestive tract intact, but don't always want to come out at once. Cue two people holding the dog down and trying to keep it calm while a third kept tugging until it was all gone.

I cannot get the image out of my mind of a magician's dog eating the handkerchief chain...
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Elfmama

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3858 on: May 08, 2013, 03:43:58 PM »
I've seen a dog that had eaten pantyhose. They go through the digestive tract intact, but don't always want to come out at once. Cue two people holding the dog down and trying to keep it calm while a third kept tugging until it was all gone.

I cannot get the image out of my mind of a magician's dog eating the handkerchief chain...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

greencat

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3859 on: May 09, 2013, 10:32:52 PM »
I feel fortunate that every dog I've ever had has always chosen to shred things before swallowing them.  No poo-chains for me!

My parents used to have a cat that, uh, didn't attend to his own personal hygiene very well, and had long fluffy hair to boot.  There used to be arguments about who would have to hold the cat and who would have to try to remove the poo lumps from the fluff on the backs of his legs.

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3860 on: May 09, 2013, 10:52:10 PM »
Cwm, I used to be a groomer too, did it for 13 years.   Never got anal gland secretions in my mouth but I got a pretty good squlorch of them in my hair...shaved a few heavily matted dogs and found mildew on them.  You know....the usual.
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Ms_Cellany

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3861 on: May 10, 2013, 12:12:58 AM »
My parents used to have a cat that, uh, didn't attend to his own personal hygiene very well, and had long fluffy hair to boot.  There used to be arguments about who would have to hold the cat and who would have to try to remove the poo lumps from the fluff on the backs of his legs.

Luna's nickname is "Captain Dingleberry."
Bingle bongle dingle dangle yickity-do yickity-dah ping-pong lippy-toppy too tah.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3862 on: May 10, 2013, 05:28:55 AM »
My parents used to have a cat that, uh, didn't attend to his own personal hygiene very well, and had long fluffy hair to boot.  There used to be arguments about who would have to hold the cat and who would have to try to remove the poo lumps from the fluff on the backs of his legs.

Luna's nickname is "Captain Dingleberry."

We often call Bansee "Poopy Pants" or say "she has poop in her pants!"

Reika

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3863 on: May 10, 2013, 06:59:34 AM »
The "poopy pants" reminds me of something I went through once.

During my brief stint as a dog groomer, a guy brought in his dog who had medium length fur. Said pooch had managed to escape out of the house and go "swamping".

We smelled the dog even before he was brought in by his human. The poor guy had a scarf or something wrapped around his mouth and nose. Both my boss and I wished for the same thing, but we were out of luck. The owner stuck around long enough to throw down a hundred bucks as a deposit and his contact info before fleeing the store.

Me, being the hapless minion, got to do the initial brush out of the dog before the bath. Gag.

While I'm doing that, boss is setting up the info in her computer and asks, "Is the dog male or female?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I don't know because there's so much stuff in the fur, I can't tell what's gunk or what's dog. And excuse me while I go puke." So she ran over to the dog as I ran to the porcelain god.

We took turns working on the dog, who was shamelessly grinning the whole time, and running to the bathroom. to get sick. Finally we get enough of the stuff out to wash him. And yes, the dog turned out to be male. And the evil creature managed to stink up the store but good. The rest of the customers kept asking "What is that smell?"

No idea what the boss charged the guy in addition to the money he gave, because she did for the sheer vileness of whatever it was the dog rolled in. It looked like he'd rolled in multiple decomposing bodies. Smelled like it too. She told the owner he was never allowed to bring the dog in to us again in that condition.

I got $20 as a tip, but let me tell you, it wasn't nearly enough for that awfulness.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3864 on: May 10, 2013, 11:47:38 AM »
My parents used to have a cat that, uh, didn't attend to his own personal hygiene very well, and had long fluffy hair to boot.  There used to be arguments about who would have to hold the cat and who would have to try to remove the poo lumps from the fluff on the backs of his legs.

Luna's nickname is "Captain Dingleberry."

This is why I will never have a long haired cat.

and on the doggie anal gland stories, I am dogsitting for friends this week.  A big one and a little one. LIttle one is about 30 lbs, and has had issues in the past with abscesses right next to said gland. which means she goes to the vet, gets knocked out, and has it cleaned out. This happened on monday, the day they left ,and they day I started watching them.

that part isn't so gross as I wasn't around for it, thankfully. But now twice a day I have to hold her down, dab it with peroxide, and put some kind of medication INSIDE the hole, as it heals from the inside out. it doens't hurt her, and she's very good about it, but I'm not thrilled about being that up and close and personal to the dogs private parts.

Elfmama

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3865 on: May 10, 2013, 08:13:37 PM »
The "poopy pants" reminds me of something I went through once.

During my brief stint as a dog groomer, a guy brought in his dog who had medium length fur. Said pooch had managed to escape out of the house and go "swamping".

We smelled the dog even before he was brought in by his human. The poor guy had a scarf or something wrapped around his mouth and nose. Both my boss and I wished for the same thing, but we were out of luck. The owner stuck around long enough to throw down a hundred bucks as a deposit and his contact info before fleeing the store.

Me, being the hapless minion, got to do the initial brush out of the dog before the bath. Gag.

While I'm doing that, boss is setting up the info in her computer and asks, "Is the dog male or female?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I don't know because there's so much stuff in the fur, I can't tell what's gunk or what's dog. And excuse me while I go puke." So she ran over to the dog as I ran to the porcelain god.

We took turns working on the dog, who was shamelessly grinning the whole time, and running to the bathroom. to get sick. Finally we get enough of the stuff out to wash him. And yes, the dog turned out to be male. And the evil creature managed to stink up the store but good. The rest of the customers kept asking "What is that smell?"

No idea what the boss charged the guy in addition to the money he gave, because she did for the sheer vileness of whatever it was the dog rolled in. It looked like he'd rolled in multiple decomposing bodies. Smelled like it too. She told the owner he was never allowed to bring the dog in to us again in that condition.

I got $20 as a tip, but let me tell you, it wasn't nearly enough for that awfulness.
Why in the world didn't the owner spray the critter down with a hose to get the worst of it off first?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reika

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3866 on: May 10, 2013, 08:33:30 PM »
Why in the world didn't the owner spray the critter down with a hose to get the worst of it off first?
[/quote]

Probably didn't want to be bothered. He had the dog jump up into the back of his truck and brought him over.

Dazi

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3867 on: May 11, 2013, 12:39:59 PM »
So, about a week ago, I got home dog tired and crawled into bed.  Then I noticed I felt something wet about mid torso. 

One of my kitties had horked up a GIANT MUTANT hairball smack in the middle of my side of the bed...and they did that trailing away thing so there was a really good area of said hork. 

The sad part is I was so tired, I didn't even bother to go try and shower the slime off.  I just wiped myself off and stripped the sheet off, laid on my blanket, and slept liked the dead for next 9 hours. 

I  woke up to having my hair horked on.  So, I grabbed the guilty party and gave her a good dose of hairball remedy, much to her disgust, and went to wash the hork off me and put clean sheets and a pillowcase on my bed.  She feels much, much better now.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





readingchick

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3868 on: May 11, 2013, 03:37:34 PM »
oh my gosh Dazi....I know it probably isn't funny but I couldn't help but laugh.

Dazi

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3869 on: May 11, 2013, 05:42:26 PM »
oh my gosh Dazi....I know it probably isn't funny but I couldn't help but laugh.

It was kind of funny.  :)
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah