A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Humor Me!

Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

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ladyknight1:
Thanks, I am slightly improved, but the next week will tell the whole story. I go back in July for the second half.

RooRoo:
I love this thread, but haven't posted any of the several gross outs from my life. Here's one:

For my sins, my first Bull Terrier and my first American Blue Gascon Hound declared undying enmity for each other. A few years ago, I was breaking up another *@&! dogfight, alone. That's not recommended, because the chance of getting away unscathed is virtually non-existent.

I somehow allowed my left hand to get into the giant dog's mouth. I felt pressure on it, saw where it was, and moved it to his collar. Or maybe it was his ear. I'm not too clear on the details. I succeeded in getting the two dogs apart and kenneled. Then I looked at my hand.

I was looking, through a neat two-inch slice in my skin, at the tendons in the back of my hand!  :o

Since they won't stitch dog bites due to the risk of infection, I had to pull the edges together with butterfly bandages. But thanks to antibiotics, you can hardly see the scar.  :D

Liliane:
Yay, I finally finished reading everything! And I'm totally joining the vorbau fan club. ;D

I've got one gross-out story (plus an unrelated tidbit), and a couple of pictures for the wound folks...

Gross-out: I have two cats. I was going through a lot of cat foods trying to find something that they'd both eat (my Himalayan, Rika, won't eat foods that aren't a certain shape - what a special snowflake ::)) and for a while, I had them on the Purina One Beyond food. They seemed to like it and it wasn't too expensive, so I figured, hey, I think I may have found something good!

Um. Nooooope.

Skip forward to one night when I'm wandering around the kitchen. I notice something in the cats' water dish and stop to look at it a little more closely. "Huh, that's weird, what got in their water? It looks like...grains of...rice...but I don't have any rice..."

*brain comes to a screeching halt*

Yep. There were maggots merrily drowning themselves in my cats' water dish, and I had quite the sinking feeling when I realized where they came from.

Events that followed, in order: empty water dish violently into kitchen sink, scrub with blisteringly hot water, refill, put back down. Open food dish (it was one of those small barrel-type dishes), discover what looks very much like dusty spiderwebs on inside of lid, empty food dish violently into trash can, scrub with blisteringly hot water, set in sink to dry. Run to attic, get half-full bag of Beyond, take a few deep breaths for courage, look in bag, discover bag is full of said dusty spiderweb stuff, run back to kitchen, throw bag violently into trash can. Tie trash bag securely with at least three knots, remove from trash can, run down the stairs, around the corner, through the four-seasons room and outside, throw bag violently into outside trash can. Proceed at much more sedate pace back upstairs, refill food dish with leftover non-buggy food from attic, replace in usual spot. Then proceed to wheeze a bit, because running with asthma is never a good idea even when you're convinced your kitchen is going to be taken over by maggots if you don't get the trash out Right This Instant.

They're now on Blue cat food, duck formula. I wonder what it says about me that I'm willing to spend $40 just to make sure there are no maggots to be found anywhere in the food.

Tidbit: Rika, again. As well as being a special snowflake, she has the worst cat farts I have EVER smelled in my lifetime. Worse than the time our late Rottweiler got into the kitchen trash can. And she likes to let them rip on my lap. Did you know it's not very pleasant to have your pants smell like cat farts?

Pictures: I've had both my ankles operated on because...well, whoever referred to it as "snap" was very, very right. :D I have extremely hypermobile joints, and ever since I was a kid my right ankle's been very fond of rolling under me at a 90-degree angle so I'd step right on the outside of my foot - if your leg straight up and down looks like this: | then think of it as going like this: _| and you've got the idea. Yes, this means I've probably repeatedly broken my ankle over the years! However, the last time it broke (September 2011) it decided to go out when I was on the STAIRS, which apparently resulted in a much worse break than I'd ever had before (no one could tell it was broken though - didn't show on X-rays. >:(). Three months on when it wasn't healing, I ended up getting a referral to a surgeon, who did an MRI and found the hairline fracture - I had surgery on Valentine's Day of last year, then had the other ankle done in November of last year, and SCARS! Lovely awesome scars! And the tendons are now run through my ankle bones so they can't flop! Woohoo!

Right ankle: the day I came home. (I was bad and unwrapped it to let it air out a bit. I hadn't yet taken off the tape over the staples. That was the NEXT day. >:D)
Next day. Tape off!
Two weeks, I think? After the staples came out.
About five weeks after surgery.
Seven weeks after surgery, when I was allowed to start walking.
Now!

Left ankle: A week after surgery, when I got the splint off. Lovely Betadine crusties!
Staples out, two weeks after surgery.
Three weeks after surgery. (Had to have the tape strips (not the yellow tape) they put on to flatten it taken off...why they taped that and not the right, I have no idea!)

...and I neglected to take more pics of the left ankle. Oops. It's not quite as healed as the right yet, but it was also a much larger incision, a tougher surgery (doc said he ALMOST couldn't tighten it up enough), and I sleep on that side. Eheh. Just imagine a dull red line just above and below the ankle bone, fading to a thin white line the rest of the way up and down.

Can I pacify you all with a bonus? Meet Rika. After I had to have her shaved down when I got her due to mats. She had a gash on the other elbow too. Poor cat.

twiggy:
Baby has been a bit under the weather this week. He actually had to go in and get a bag of IV fluids :'( but he's better now.  :D

As a result, he had some really, really bad diarrhea that got more....um, expansive, as he got better and started taking in more fluids. DH was holding Baby and was disgusted by the fact that he could feel Baby doing his business while sitting in DH's lap. It got worse though. You see, Baby had already thrown up on his shirt, so he was sitting in DH's lap topless. That really bad "business" that Baby was taking care of leaked out the top of his diaper and all over DH's arm. . . . . . DH was eating dinner at the time. DH has a weak stomach.

DH practically threw Baby at me and RAN to the bathroom to scrub his arm and then jumped into the shower. I heard retching noises as I  was changing Baby's diaper, and DH said that my enchiladas taste pretty much the same regardless of the direction they're traveling.

I must not have been looking terribly sympathetic because DH asked me if I thought he was overreacting/being a baby. I answered honestly, but had to add the disclaimer that I spend an unreasonable amount of time covered in bodily fluids.

Mel the Redcap:
Liliane, if it makes you feel any better, I think those 'maggots' were actually Pantry Moth larvae: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indianmeal_Moth

They're icky and creepy if you don't like bugs, and they're a real pain if they get established in your house, but hopefully you got rid of most of the little buggers. :P If you have little silvery dusty-winged moths in your kitchen, though, you need to seal up any grains or grain-based foods you have in airtight containers until you can take care of them. You can get sticky traps that lure them in with pheromones, which is kind of cool!  ;D

(On another note, if they were happily nomming on your cats' food, it was probably mostly grain-based, which is not really good for kitties. I'd stick with the duck-based stuff; it's certainly less likely to get little wormies in it!)

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