I mentioned a few pages back that I've been suffering with bad haemorrhoids and had a surgeon's appointment.
Well, this has been epic, in both the gross-out and 'yeah, don't do that' vein.
I had a surgical procedure on Monday - ligation of the arteries and repair. The surgeon also gave me a nerve block to improve the pain. It was supposed to be a day surgery...
The nerve block was very, very successful. So successful that I couldn't pee for two days.
Alas, it didn't do too much for the pain.
So first day in hospital, late evening, I get a catheter put in. It came out the following morning. Cue the next day trying to pee, feeling like I'm bursting but unable to go. Add in the pain of the posterior - it felt like I had inadvertently sat on a pineapple... every time I sat on the loo the pain accelerated, but no relief.
Day two, evening, catheter #2 goes in. Ah, relief. But the block is starting to wear off, so in addition to the pineappled posterior, I now also have a feeling like I'm constantly needing to pee. Anyone who's had a catheter may recognise that...
Day three, the catheter comes out again. I'm drinking water like a fish - cuss it all to tarnation, I'm going home!! Eventually, around lunchtime I had my second shower of the day, and finally! Bliss!!!
Five minutes later I'm on my way out the door. Yay.
Today is Friday, 5 days since the surgery. Peeing is still a tad problematic, sometimes I can go normally, occasionally I need a shower to get started. Oh, and I suspect I have a urinary tract infection as well.
I also haven't actually pooped since Sunday. I've been taking fibre supplements, senna tablets, high fibre diet - when I can eat, anyway, the appetite has gone. Still nothing, but the gas? Epic. I'm farting like a colicky horse, and it reeks. Never smelt anything like it. Oh, and occasionally I fart bloody mucous, just as an added bonus.
The worst though is the build-up of pelvic pressure. It feels like the worst of premenstrual bloating. Fabulous. not.
It feels like a bowling ball now rather than a pineapple, so I suppose that's an improvement?
I can't sit comfortably, can't sleep properly, can't do much of anything really. Blergh. Can't wait for this to be over!