Author Topic: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart  (Read 769311 times)

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mmswm

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4665 on: December 19, 2013, 11:25:33 AM »
Yes, that happens when the combination of the extra fluids and possible cervical disruption involved in scrabble allow things to exit more quickly than normal...and truly, without the unwanted matter, it does seem like the cramps are less.

I had similar results from a rock concert - an outdoor festival show using speaker stacks the size of cars.  I got there, with normal levels of flow...then I went through an entire box of extra strength tampons. It was really, really, really, not pretty and I was glad I had a change of clothes in the car, because the pants I was wearing when I got there looked like I'd walked through an abattoir.

Since the whole thing didn't even phase the other person involved, it's now tempting to plan to drive to Key West around my expected start date every month. His only request was that next time tell him I am due to start any day so he can put towels down. This is seriously the first month since I was nine years old  that I haven't had nearly crippling cramps.
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EMuir

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4666 on: December 19, 2013, 12:14:15 PM »
Last night I was working from home on an urgent matter, sitting on the couch beside my spouse.  One of our cats makes hurking noises and before we can react he barfs on the carpet between us, cat food, yum. Our other cat sees this and starts walking over.  First cat hovers protectively over his barf and makes growling noises at the other cat while starting to eat the barf.  Since I am very busy, my spouse runs for paper towels.  Unfortunately when she pushes all the cats away and goes to pick up the puke, the smell and warm feel of it make her nauseous and she starts making hurking noises.  I had this image of her puking on the cat who is trying to eat his own puke and wondering what would happen. I offered to clean it up but she prevailed without further puking.  FYI, Nature's Miracle "Just for cats" does work miracles on cat puke and carpets, even the bile stain was removed.

emwithme

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4667 on: December 19, 2013, 03:02:42 PM »
Yes, that happens when the combination of the extra fluids and possible cervical disruption involved in scrabble allow things to exit more quickly than normal...and truly, without the unwanted matter, it does seem like the cramps are less.

I had similar results from a rock concert - an outdoor festival show using speaker stacks the size of cars.  I got there, with normal levels of flow...then I went through an entire box of extra strength tampons. It was really, really, really, not pretty and I was glad I had a change of clothes in the car, because the pants I was wearing when I got there looked like I'd walked through an abattoir.

I felt like Billith Compton when I got home today. 

I was stuck in traffic for a while (45 minute journey actually took an hour and 45 minutes) and for the whole hour I was delayed, I could feel leakage.  I was using a mooncup PLUS a night-strength pad but filled the mooncup and soaked the pad through.  When I got home I had to shower, I felt that icky.  When I emptied my mooncup, I found the reason why - I had passed a clot the size of a tomato  :o

Hopefully this will pass quickly as DH and I have a 200 mile journey tomorrow afternoon and I don't want to have to stop at every service station I pass on the motorway

Julian

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4668 on: December 20, 2013, 02:16:12 AM »
I mentioned a few pages back that I've been suffering with bad haemorrhoids and had a surgeon's appointment.

Well, this has been epic, in both the gross-out and 'yeah, don't do that' vein.

I had a surgical procedure on Monday - ligation of the arteries and repair.  The surgeon also gave me a nerve block to improve the pain.  It was supposed to be a day surgery...

The nerve block was very, very successful.  So successful that I couldn't pee for two days.   :'(   Alas, it didn't do too much for the pain.
 
So first day in hospital, late evening, I get a catheter put in.  It came out the following morning.  Cue the next day trying to pee, feeling like I'm bursting but unable to go.  Add in the pain of the posterior - it felt like I had inadvertently sat on a pineapple...  every time I sat on the loo the pain accelerated, but no relief.   :'( :'( :'(

Day two, evening, catheter #2 goes in.  Ah, relief.  But the block is starting to wear off, so in addition to the pineappled posterior, I now also have a feeling like I'm constantly needing to pee.  Anyone who's had a catheter may recognise that...   :-\ :-[

Day three, the catheter comes out again.  I'm drinking water like a fish - cuss it all to tarnation, I'm going home!!  Eventually, around lunchtime I had my second shower of the day, and finally!  Bliss!!!   ;D

Five minutes later I'm on my way out the door.  Yay.

Today is Friday, 5 days since the surgery.  Peeing is still a tad problematic, sometimes I can go normally, occasionally I need a shower to get started.  Oh, and I suspect I have a urinary tract infection as well.

I also haven't actually pooped since Sunday.  I've been taking fibre supplements, senna tablets, high fibre diet - when I can eat, anyway, the appetite has gone.  Still nothing, but the gas?  Epic.  I'm farting like a colicky horse, and it reeks.  Never smelt anything like it.  Oh, and occasionally I fart bloody mucous, just as an added bonus.

The worst though is the build-up of pelvic pressure.  It feels like the worst of premenstrual bloating.  Fabulous.  not.   :P  It feels like a bowling ball now rather than a pineapple, so I suppose that's an improvement?

I can't sit comfortably, can't sleep properly, can't do much of anything really.  Blergh.  Can't wait for this to be over!

diesel_darlin

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4669 on: December 20, 2013, 02:59:53 AM »
Julian, I don't know whether to hug you in sympathy or thank you for the epic belly laugh. So both?  ;D

Julian

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4670 on: December 20, 2013, 03:32:56 AM »
 ;D  I'm glad you got a laugh.  (I find laughing at myself is a good way to get through tough spots!)

I just chased myself out of bed.  The ultimate Dutch Oven.  And I chased myself out of the bathroom last night too.  This has been even better than the Great Canberra Banana Incident of 1999!

oh, and Housemate keeps threatening to buy me bananas to help me 'go'.  You'll probably hear that at your place if it works...

Melle

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4671 on: December 20, 2013, 05:53:07 AM »
oh, and Housemate keeps threatening to buy me bananas to help me 'go'.  You'll probably hear that at your place if it works...

Noooo!
Bananas don't help you go, they're for the opposite problem.
Yoghurt, dried apricots, figs - that's your way to go. Literally ;)

Dazi

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4672 on: December 20, 2013, 06:35:50 AM »
I mentioned a few pages back that I've been suffering with bad haemorrhoids and had a surgeon's appointment.

Well, this has been epic, in both the gross-out and 'yeah, don't do that' vein.

I had a surgical procedure on Monday - ligation of the arteries and repair.  The surgeon also gave me a nerve block to improve the pain.  It was supposed to be a day surgery...

The nerve block was very, very successful.  So successful that I couldn't pee for two days.   :'(   Alas, it didn't do too much for the pain.
 
So first day in hospital, late evening, I get a catheter put in.  It came out the following morning.  Cue the next day trying to pee, feeling like I'm bursting but unable to go.  Add in the pain of the posterior - it felt like I had inadvertently sat on a pineapple...  every time I sat on the loo the pain accelerated, but no relief.   :'( :'( :'(

Day two, evening, catheter #2 goes in.  Ah, relief.  But the block is starting to wear off, so in addition to the pineappled posterior, I now also have a feeling like I'm constantly needing to pee.  Anyone who's had a catheter may recognise that...   :-\ :-[

Day three, the catheter comes out again.  I'm drinking water like a fish - cuss it all to tarnation, I'm going home!!  Eventually, around lunchtime I had my second shower of the day, and finally!  Bliss!!!   ;D

Five minutes later I'm on my way out the door.  Yay.

Today is Friday, 5 days since the surgery.  Peeing is still a tad problematic, sometimes I can go normally, occasionally I need a shower to get started.  Oh, and I suspect I have a urinary tract infection as well.

I also haven't actually pooped since Sunday.  I've been taking fibre supplements, senna tablets, high fibre diet - when I can eat, anyway, the appetite has gone.  Still nothing, but the gas?  Epic.  I'm farting like a colicky horse, and it reeks.  Never smelt anything like it.  Oh, and occasionally I fart bloody mucous, just as an added bonus.

The worst though is the build-up of pelvic pressure.  It feels like the worst of premenstrual bloating.  Fabulous.  not.   :P  It feels like a bowling ball now rather than a pineapple, so I suppose that's an improvement?

I can't sit comfortably, can't sleep properly, can't do much of anything really.  Blergh.  Can't wait for this to be over!

I so feel you on the catheter pain...it is, well, a pain.  I was walking pretty good (at the surgeons insistence), but had trouble trying to walk with that dingdangity thing in as the tube kept slipping down my leg.  They had it tried to tie my upper thigh with one of those useless Velcro straps and until I tinkered with it and strapped it to just above my knee, it just wouldn't where it was supposed to.

As for the pooping.  I didn't go for 5 or 6 days.  They had me on a liquid diet both before and after surgery, made me drink that crap that cleans you out, and I was very, very empty.  The nurse warned me I may not go for up to a week.  Oh, how I remember the farts.  It smelled like something had crawled up me and died.  It was THAT bad.  My DH thought it was hysterical.

Fiber supplements actually plug me up really super bad, as do bananas (it's like it coagulates into a gel brick in my intestines no matter how much liquid I drink with them).  I ate lots of soup/chicken broth, Greek yogurt, jello, and drank lots of liquids after I had surgery (FTR, I had a different type of surgery, but it still involved emptying me out really well).

If I get plugged up, I go with a Nana special...eat a small bowl of prunes or drink a glass of warmed up prune juice...if I'm really plugged up, I follow that with a big mug of chicken broth with about a tablespoon of olive or coconut oil stirred in (and repeat in an hour if I still haven't gone).  My record is three rounds before success, but that was after several days of eating cheese and banana chips several times during about a week period.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2013, 06:37:29 AM by Dazi »
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Ms_Cellany

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4673 on: December 20, 2013, 08:45:39 AM »
After my hysterectomy, I used a mixture of 1:1:1 prune juice, oat bran, and applesauce. Tastes vile, but it's Colon Blow.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4674 on: December 20, 2013, 09:58:54 AM »
If you like beets, try eating those.  It gives you spectacularly coloured poop but they really keep things moving.  They will colour your urine, too, so don't be alarmed when it comes out purpley-red.  Everytime I eat beets, I give myself a shock and then remember, 'Oh, yeah, I had beets for dinner.'
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ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4675 on: December 20, 2013, 11:25:34 AM »
Apple juice gets things moving for me.

I am to the call the doctor stage of the chest infection. This morning I coughed out a multi-hued variety of phlegm with bonus! tonsil stones.

Green, red, orange, brown, yellow currently.

Black Delphinium

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4676 on: December 20, 2013, 11:57:05 AM »
Apple juice gets things moving for me.

I am to the call the doctor stage of the chest infection. This morning I coughed out a multi-hued variety of phlegm with bonus! tonsil stones.

Green, red, orange, brown, yellow currently.
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OSUJillyBean

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4677 on: December 20, 2013, 12:06:16 PM »
oh, and Housemate keeps threatening to buy me bananas to help me 'go'.  You'll probably hear that at your place if it works...

Noooo!
Bananas don't help you go, they're for the opposite problem.
Yoghurt, dried apricots, figs - that's your way to go. Literally ;)

This.  Bananas are to help you stop going!  And canned pumpkin is what we give the dog to help him go (it's vet-recommended).  I imagine that'd work for people too.

cwm

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4678 on: December 20, 2013, 12:32:55 PM »
oh, and Housemate keeps threatening to buy me bananas to help me 'go'.  You'll probably hear that at your place if it works...

Noooo!
Bananas don't help you go, they're for the opposite problem.
Yoghurt, dried apricots, figs - that's your way to go. Literally ;)

This.  Bananas are to help you stop going!  And canned pumpkin is what we give the dog to help him go (it's vet-recommended).  I imagine that'd work for people too.

Yeah, bananas are a huge plug. Sis got really mad at dad one day when he gave Sproglet (one year old at the time) three bananas in one day. "But she loves them, I couldn't say no."

Luckily Sis passed Sproglet off to her daddy the next day, so she didn't have to deal with the epic stoppage. She wanted to pass her back off to dad, but unfortunately it was Sprog's daddy's custodial time. Oh well.

ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4679 on: December 20, 2013, 12:46:22 PM »
I will take a picture of the next batch of colors.