Author Topic: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart  (Read 603365 times)

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Ms_Cellany

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4845 on: January 23, 2014, 06:35:36 PM »
The boat went under a pier and came out without the man's head.

I have an opinionated red mare.  I don't force her to walk through puddles. 

I was just WAITING to see what the connection between these two sentences was.
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Copper Horsewoman

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4846 on: January 24, 2014, 04:27:00 AM »
Hugs, ladynight, even if you didn't ask. I hope it feels less stingy soon.


My poor dog ate something yesterday that clearly didn't agree with him. My SO got home from work today to find that the dog had explosive diarrhea in his kennel. I'm really thankful that I had meetings that ran late today.  >:D

Now, though, it is pouring rain, which the dog doesn't like. He's also still suffering, so has had to go out twice in thirty minutes. Since he doesn't like the rain, he shakes his fur out every 10 seconds, which hampers his ability to find the 'right' spot to poo—he clearly needs to go, but his need to shake wins as soon as he finds a spot, which confuses him and makes him start the search over. Once he does find the spot, he clearly is unhappy trying not to shake while going. The look on his face is one of those things you shouldn't laugh but I really can't help myself.


My old Pit bull terrier was a weather wuss also, so if I walked him in pouring rain, I wore a full raincoat with a hood, and carried an umbrella FOR HIM.  Is that what you call a special snowflake, or what?

Copper Horsewoman

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4847 on: January 24, 2014, 12:11:10 PM »
From Hyperbole and a Half's magnificent "Dogs don't understand basic concepts like moving"



Loved this!  Thank you for sharing!

Mental Magpie

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4848 on: January 24, 2014, 12:23:06 PM »
I had that stomach bug that's been going around.  I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom.  I was sitting there, urinating from my rear end (we've always used that description, too!), and felt the urge to projectile vomit.  I leaned forward to grab the trashcan and at that very moment my stomach decided it didn't want to hold anything in it anymore at all.  When your stomach tenses to vomit that forcefully, it makes it hard to hold anything in.  Because I was bent forward at the waist, I wasn't aimed at the toilet anymore.  It sprayed at the toilet lid and splashed up my back and onto the wall.  At least the vomit got in the trash can, at least.
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siamesecat2965

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4849 on: January 24, 2014, 01:28:30 PM »
Warning: vomit mentioned

I am currently battling a nasty stomach bug.

At 5:30am, I was throwing up last nights dinner. I discovered three disturbing but kind of nice things. First, cooked spaghetti is very soft coming back up which means it doesn't scratch up my throat. Second, despite being mostly tomatoes, it wasn't that acidic, which means that it again didn't tear up my throat that much. Third, and possibly the most disturbing, it tastes remarkably similar coming up as it did going down.

I could not say the same about the raisin bread, soup, or plain bread I also couldn't keep down today.

I've also found that to be true.  It's weird though when hours later and your dinner still looks like your dinner!

Things coming up looking the same as they went down is often a sign that your tummy bug put everything on 'pause' and it's just been sitting there instead of digesting. Especially if it's been hours since you ate and it's still there in your stomach to throw up - by that time, it should have moved onwards. :P

I had the same issue, years ago. I still remember this beacuse I was home from college for Christmas vacation, and my mom had made mac and cheese for dinner, which I ate. And then told me to clean up the kitchen. Which I didn't do as I felt ill. Like a huge weight was in my stomach; and the food wasn't moving. Well, later on, it all  came back up, just as it had gone down. Not pleasant at all.

As for the peeing out the backside, my father's description was that he (or anyone else suffering from the same affliction) was flowing from both ends. NOt fun at all.

Editeer

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4850 on: January 24, 2014, 02:44:43 PM »


My job has almost as much gross out potential as Vorbau.  Almost, but not quite as much.  Vorbau still rules this thread!

I don't know. You story of corn and turds grossed me out quite as much as any decomp thread.  ;)

Midnight Kitty

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4851 on: January 24, 2014, 03:33:23 PM »


My job has almost as much gross out potential as Vorbau.  Almost, but not quite as much.  Vorbau still rules this thread!

I don't know. You story of corn and turds grossed me out quite as much as any decomp thread.  ;)
Thank you My mission here is accomplished! >:D
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Midnight Kitty

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4852 on: January 24, 2014, 03:34:41 PM »
As for the peeing out the backside, my father's description was that he (or anyone else suffering from the same affliction) was flowing from both ends. Not fun at all.
I've heard that phenomenon referred to as "the squirts."
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Seraphia

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4853 on: January 24, 2014, 04:40:17 PM »
As for the peeing out the backside, my father's description was that he (or anyone else suffering from the same affliction) was flowing from both ends. Not fun at all.
I've heard that phenomenon referred to as "the squirts."

Friends of ours call that number 3. As in, when you can't tell the difference between going number 1 and going number 2.
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Mel the Redcap

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4854 on: January 24, 2014, 04:49:11 PM »
As for the peeing out the backside, my father's description was that he (or anyone else suffering from the same affliction) was flowing from both ends. Not fun at all.
I've heard that phenomenon referred to as "the squirts."

Friends of ours call that number 3. As in, when you can't tell the difference between going number 1 and going number 2.

And then there's the baby version of #3. >:D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paw0M7p1-8k
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perpetua

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4855 on: January 24, 2014, 04:50:59 PM »
As for the peeing out the backside, my father's description was that he (or anyone else suffering from the same affliction) was flowing from both ends. Not fun at all.
I've heard that phenomenon referred to as "the squirts."

Friends of ours call that number 3. As in, when you can't tell the difference between going number 1 and going number 2.

And then there's the baby version of #3. >:D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paw0M7p1-8k

Ahahah, that's excellent  ;D ;D ;D

snowfire

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4856 on: January 24, 2014, 09:54:02 PM »
Many years ago my DH had the annual winter crud which seems to hit everyone in town at various times.  It involved lots of puking and number 3's, frequently at the same time.  I finally decided it was easier to throw him in the shower with a bucket for the chunky stuff.  Then I could just hose him off as his butt had gotten too sore for TP from the every 10 minutes explosions.

P.S. Vorbau has been kind of quiet lately.  Anyone remember if she is deployed right now?

Nikko-chan

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4857 on: January 24, 2014, 10:02:27 PM »
Many years ago my DH had the annual winter crud which seems to hit everyone in town at various times.  It involved lots of puking and number 3's, frequently at the same time.  I finally decided it was easier to throw him in the shower with a bucket for the chunky stuff.  Then I could just hose him off as his butt had gotten too sore for TP from the every 10 minutes explosions.

P.S. Vorbau has been kind of quiet lately.  Anyone remember if she is deployed right now?

I think she is.

VorFemme

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4858 on: January 25, 2014, 04:28:01 PM »
I'm pretty sure she's deployed...you could check her profile & her last post to see if she left an estimated date of return....

Which many of us are waiting for with bated breath, after hearing about the exploding donkey...
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wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4859 on: January 25, 2014, 08:19:08 PM »
 tracheostomy

This is from a friend from work, and it is really gross, I made her stop telling me. She told me she actually physically vomited afterwords.

She was checking a customer out, who at a tracheostomy, and it was covered by a cloth. She said the customer coughed, and phlegm went all down his front.

EW!