Author Topic: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart  (Read 800493 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5205 on: May 12, 2014, 10:49:09 AM »
I'm paying for sleeping in a tank top Friday night while camping. I have mosquito bites down my right shoulder, on my left forearm and on both legs. Oh, and on my right pinky middle knuckle.

GreenHall

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5206 on: May 12, 2014, 11:17:43 AM »
I am apparently holding the door open too long for the cat's frequent in and outs.  I had a mosquito (maybe two) in my house last night.  I lit a citronella candle in the living room while I watched Once Upon a Time.   (I bought the candle about a month ago, when the first hatching must have happened, and there was at least a dozen bloodsuckers in my living room.)

greencat

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5207 on: May 12, 2014, 03:01:49 PM »
I left my room for about 15 minutes.  When I returned, the kitties had been so kind as to decorate my pillow with a half-digested mass of cat food  >:(

Liliane

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5208 on: May 12, 2014, 03:08:33 PM »
Sometime during my apparent hibernation (no really, I think I caught up on all the sleep I've lost for the past week or so), I half-woke to the sound of a hairball being expelled quite violently and decided not to see exactly where it was and which fuzzball expelled it, because sleep.

Bad move. Every single pair of pants I own is now in the dryer after that violent hairball oozed and I had to wash them all. :-\
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magicdomino

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5209 on: May 12, 2014, 06:00:55 PM »
Stye:  I think I haz one.  And I'm not impressed.   >:(

ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5210 on: May 12, 2014, 09:38:18 PM »
On the way to my son's Troop meeting tonight, I noticed the road ahead was wet and and thought nothing of it at first. Down the road a half mile, I saw a travel trailer on the side of the road with a large sewage leak. The fluid on the road was from that. I will be getting a car wash on the way to work tomorrow.

Hollanda

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5211 on: May 15, 2014, 05:32:42 AM »
I have a thing about eyes.  They make me feel squeamish. Really.  Any infection of the eye, or talking about operations of the eye has me feeling genuinely ill.
 
SO I typed a report out yesterday, which included the word "dacryocystectomy".  I couldn't read the word properly so googled it.  No big deal, I do it all the time. But this time, Google threw out a load of images of the actual operation. I just froze and felt physically ill.
 
Please.  Feel free to Google dacryocystectomy. It's gross.   :'( 
 
I could never be a doctor, could I?!

Speaking of eyes, that reminded me.  I do insurance billing for an eye care clinic, and my manager had us follow one of the doctors around shortly after we started, to get an idea of what they did.  One of the things the doctors do is give "intravitreal injections" - which are injections of medication directly into the eyeball.  While the person is still totally concious and aware of what's going on.  I ... found something else to look at while that was being done.  Oh, and from what the patients told me, the numbing drops put in before the injection is done hurt worse than just about anything else you can imagine getting in your eye.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!
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Elisabunny

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5212 on: May 15, 2014, 06:14:21 PM »
I have a thing about eyes.  They make me feel squeamish. Really.  Any infection of the eye, or talking about operations of the eye has me feeling genuinely ill.
 
SO I typed a report out yesterday, which included the word "dacryocystectomy".  I couldn't read the word properly so googled it.  No big deal, I do it all the time. But this time, Google threw out a load of images of the actual operation. I just froze and felt physically ill.
 
Please.  Feel free to Google dacryocystectomy. It's gross.   :'( 
 
I could never be a doctor, could I?!

Speaking of eyes, that reminded me.  I do insurance billing for an eye care clinic, and my manager had us follow one of the doctors around shortly after we started, to get an idea of what they did.  One of the things the doctors do is give "intravitreal injections" - which are injections of medication directly into the eyeball.  While the person is still totally concious and aware of what's going on.  I ... found something else to look at while that was being done.  Oh, and from what the patients told me, the numbing drops put in before the injection is done hurt worse than just about anything else you can imagine getting in your eye.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

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hermanne

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5213 on: May 15, 2014, 07:29:15 PM »
DH gets skin tags. They're just what they sound like, little floppy bits of skin that stick out like a tag. One was just under his arm near the pit. It rubbed and snagged on his shirt, irritating him. He had me put bandaids on it, as it was just out of his reach.

A few days ago he got the idea to have me twist it a few times before putting the bandaid on. This thing was like a big, fat, and flat tick, just hanging on by a thread. So I did, and the next morning it fell off.

DH was jubilant. It's gone, it's gone! Oh, it fell off during the night, where is it? Hey, there's a little piece of me somewhere!

The whole time he's nausatingly cheerful. I'm not looking forward to finding it.
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ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5214 on: May 16, 2014, 09:50:02 AM »
I get skin tags, tumors and other lovely growths on my skin. Twice a year I have to get my ophthalmologist and plastic surgeon to remove them from around my eyes, and my dermatologist to remove the rest.

I also get pre-melanomas, so I have to be hypervigilant. And people wonder why I don't tan.

Dawse

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5215 on: May 20, 2014, 10:38:55 AM »
I don't know what's just brought this to the forefront of my mind. This is equally a contender for Things You Should Not Laugh At, but it's kind of not very nice. Here goes -

Over the last few weeks there's been a not-inconsiderable amount of roadkill on my route to work. I generally take a country road to work so it's not entirely unexpected but there seems to have been more than usual recently; lots of rabbits and squirrels, but also the odd pheasant and a couple of foxes and badgers.

I'm carpooling with a co-worker (who I will call Lee) one morning when the car in front of us hits something in the middle of the road that may have once been a squirrel. I see it fly out from under the back wheel, sail gracefully through the air in a beautiful arc, and land with a very wet thud on the bonnet. Lee shrieks like a banshee; I'm laughing, partly at Lee, mostly because the remains of maybe-squirrel is now making a stately journey from the centre of the bonnet towards the windscreen. Lee manages to pull over just as maybe-squirrel settles itself comfortably in the gap between the edge of the bonnet and the windscreen.

I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard - a combination of the bizarreness of watching an ex-squirrel come flying at us as though shot from a catapult, shock, and Lee's continuing wails of horror. (I know, I'm a horrible friend, but watching and listening to a burly, bearded man scream like a little girl who just had her ice cream stolen is really, really funny.)

Lee tries to shift ex-squirrel by flicking on the wipers. All this does is smear ex-squirrel across the windscreen. I'm about to die laughing, Lee is practically sobbing at me to shut up and do something useful. I suggest trying the washers. This removes some of the, er, smears, but there's still a fair few... lumps... of ex-squirrel clinging to various bits of the car.

Eventually, I manage to get myself under control enough to take pity on Lee, and volunteer to try and remove enough of ex-squirrel that we won't be shedding bits as we drive down the road. Also, it's blocking the air vents, and Lee looked like he was going to puke when I suggested moving ex-squirrel. I roll up my sleeves, we sacrifice a bottle of water and the ice scraper, and I get out of the car. It stinks. I'm really, really glad it was early in the morning and not any hotter, because it smelled just indescribably awful; I can only imagine the effect of a few hours of sunlight might have had on that particular aroma.

Between the water and the scraper, I manage to flick the... bits... off the car (there were several pieces by this point, and they were all pretty much unidentifiable) and into the grass verge on the side of the layby, and wash the gunk off the bonnet. The worst bit was trying to dig out what I think may have once a been a leg from under the lip of the bonnet. (It crunched.)

Lee uses up pretty much all of his washer fluid, which dislodges a couple more little bits - unfortunately we had nothing we were willing to sacrifice to wipe the wiper blades with - but eventually the windscreen at least is pretty clean. Lee wants to leave the scraper on the side of the road, but agrees to just chucking it away at work if I wash it - and makes me hold it all the way there, in case any gunk gets transferred to his car.  ::)

Amazingly we aren't actually late for work, but our boss wants to frame the ice scraper when she hears about our early-morning gross-out adventure, I practically boil my hands, and Lee still hasn't quite lived it down that a girl had to clean his car of ex-squirrel bits for him.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5216 on: May 20, 2014, 10:47:04 AM »
(I know, I'm a horrible friend, but watching and listening to a burly, bearded man scream like a little girl who just had her ice cream stolen is really, really funny.)

Oh my, I am really laughing here.  Especially the above bit.  I'm right there with you.

Please, please put that ice scraper in a frame and present it to him upon a suitable occasion.  Or just casually hang it on his office wall one day and see how long it takes before he notices.  And squeals.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5217 on: May 20, 2014, 12:05:58 PM »
Great story.

Reika

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5218 on: May 20, 2014, 12:49:16 PM »
I almost snorted up my Dr. Pepper while reading your story, Dawse. Just the pickup I needed. :)

snowfire

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5219 on: May 20, 2014, 01:50:13 PM »
Squirrel bits are right up there with squirrel puddle! That ranks right up there with Vorbau for graphically & hilariously described grossness! Bravo!