Author Topic: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart  (Read 768853 times)

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Nimblicity

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Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« on: May 14, 2007, 07:35:53 AM »
Reading about finding dog doo with a weed-eater reminded me of my grossest (if that's a word) moment.

Out at the farm, my mom found a big fat tick on the farm dog.  She pulled it off and threw it on the sidewalk right in front of me.  I mean it was the size of a grape.  Couldn't even move on its own.  My mom said, "Kill it!"

So...

I stepped on it.  In flip-flops.

Pop! Tick explodes and spurts dog-blood onto my other foot.

Ewwwwwwwww!!!!!  This was years ago and it still grosses me out.

What was your grossest moment?
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scooter2071

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2007, 10:17:06 AM »
Yesterday, actually. DS was "napping" in his crib and has recently started taking off his diaper whenever he gets the chance. You know where this one is going...

I guess he decided to make me a sculpture for Mother's Day  :P

It was EVERYWHERE! He crammed poop inside the holes where the screws go in the crib, all over the slats, all over him... :-X




Clara Bow

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2007, 03:17:43 PM »
A friend of mine got horrendously drunk at her bachelorette party. We didn't want to drive anywhere because she kept saying she needed to throw up. It became apparent to me that she needed to vomit but couldn't.
I told her I was going to stick my finger down her throat on the count of three. I did, and got out of the way just before she let fly...
After bodily carrying her into the hotel room and cleaning her up while she vomited into the toilet another friend and I got her undressed and into her nightgown.
That was when other friend noticed that she had tampons in her overnight bag.
She looked at me (drunk friend was long passed out) and said "What do we do? She's on her period!"
I looked at her and said "She's on her dingdangity own with that. I've been knee deep in puke all night and I have had ENOUGH!!"
I have finally found the bar I can't get thrown out of....

Bijou

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2007, 10:20:22 AM »
A friend of mine got horrendously drunk at her bachelorette party. We didn't want to drive anywhere because she kept saying she needed to throw up. It became apparent to me that she needed to vomit but couldn't.
I told her I was going to stick my finger down her throat on the count of three. I did, and got out of the way just before she let fly...
After bodily carrying her into the hotel room and cleaning her up while she vomited into the toilet another friend and I got her undressed and into her nightgown.
That was when other friend noticed that she had tampons in her overnight bag.
She looked at me (drunk friend was long passed out) and said "What do we do? She's on her period!"
I looked at her and said "She's on her dingdangity own with that. I've been knee deep in puke all night and I have had ENOUGH!!"
GOOD GRIEF! 
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2007, 10:04:49 PM »
A friend of mine got horrendously drunk at her bachelorette party. We didn't want to drive anywhere because she kept saying she needed to throw up. It became apparent to me that she needed to vomit but couldn't.
I told her I was going to stick my finger down her throat on the count of three. I did, and got out of the way just before she let fly...
After bodily carrying her into the hotel room and cleaning her up while she vomited into the toilet another friend and I got her undressed and into her nightgown.
That was when other friend noticed that she had tampons in her overnight bag.
She looked at me (drunk friend was long passed out) and said "What do we do? She's on her period!"
I looked at her and said "She's on her dingdangity own with that. I've been knee deep in puke all night and I have had ENOUGH!!"

Hey, everyone has their limits >:D

I wouldn't shove my fingers down anyone's throat for any reason, so you are a better friend that me.
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AprilRenee

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2007, 10:46:13 PM »
My daughter was about 8 months old and we had one of those jumper things that hangs from the door frames. You put the kid in and they can hop and jump in there.

She would spend an hour or 2 in there, she loved it so much.

One day I popped her in it and went to the bathroom. When i came out, she was happily jumping around in a puddle of diarrhea. It escaped her diaper and was running down her legs on to the floor.

I swear I nearly died cleaning that up

Rei-chan

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2007, 11:34:38 PM »

Here's mine:

About 10 years ago, I went with some friends to a local 24 hour restaurant for an early breakfast.  It was around 3am, and the bars had just closed.  We were sat at a booth in front of 2 men, one was eating salad.  For you to get this, here's a map, because I am not sure how this happened the way it did:

                                 | Our table | |Their table |
                                 |          ME| |1 guy- SGuy|

My back was to the salad guy.  All of a sudden I hear this single loud HACK! and get hit in the back of the head with a steaming wad of salad.  Somehow he projectile vomited from his side of the table, missed his friend, and hit me, sitting at the next table almost 5 feet away.

I scream, and end up trying to wash puke out of my hair in the tiny bathroom.  Luckily, I had another shirt in my car and changed.  Just as I come out, the waitress brings my eggs over medium.  Which of course, I couldn't eat.   >:(

Shoo

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2007, 11:39:10 PM »

Here's mine:

About 10 years ago, I went with some friends to a local 24 hour restaurant for an early breakfast.  It was around 3am, and the bars had just closed.  We were sat at a booth in front of 2 men, one was eating salad.  For you to get this, here's a map, because I am not sure how this happened the way it did:

                                 | Our table | |Their table |
                                 |          ME| |1 guy- SGuy|

My back was to the salad guy.  All of a sudden I hear this single loud HACK! and get hit in the back of the head with a steaming wad of salad.  Somehow he projectile vomited from his side of the table, missed his friend, and hit me, sitting at the next table almost 5 feet away.

I scream, and end up trying to wash puke out of my hair in the tiny bathroom.  Luckily, I had another shirt in my car and changed.  Just as I come out, the waitress brings my eggs over medium.  Which of course, I couldn't eat.   >:(

Oh, Willow.  I don't read many things that make me throw my hand over my mouth to keep my dh from hearing me laughing, but this did it.

Rei-chan

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2007, 11:44:11 PM »

LOL.  Glad you got a laugh out of that Shoo. 

10 years ago, not so funny, but now, I can see the humor in it.   :) 

Tell you what though, before that I could deal with all kinds of grossness.  Now I can't even hear someone puke without gagging.  It's gonna be bad when we have kids.......

Shores

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2007, 05:18:09 AM »
My mother once hosted a fairly formal eveing outdoors cocktail shindig years back. She spent weeks preparing and all day stressing, cleaning and cooking. She was dressed to the nines and trying to be perfect. About 30 min into the party, she's talking to a guest, hears a noise, looks up.... and catches a load of bird doo right in the mouth.

My mother's EXTREMELY type-A and perfectionist. It was pretty funny to watch the fall-out. :P
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Bethalize

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2007, 08:21:36 AM »
What was your grossest moment?

I trod on a slug in bare feet.

Clara Bow

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2007, 11:46:15 AM »
My daughter was about 8 months old and we had one of those jumper things that hangs from the door frames. You put the kid in and they can hop and jump in there.

She would spend an hour or 2 in there, she loved it so much.

One day I popped her in it and went to the bathroom. When i came out, she was happily jumping around in a puddle of diarrhea. It escaped her diaper and was running down her legs on to the floor.

I swear I nearly died cleaning that up



I was laughing so hard at this post my husband had to come and read it to see what I was rolling in the floor about....
I have finally found the bar I can't get thrown out of....

Ferrets

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #12 on: June 01, 2007, 04:08:42 PM »
As most of you may know, the local slug forces are attempting to push forward their frontier into our house.

The other night, I heard the cat hacking in the living-room. I went in - cat was fine, but he'd been sick on the carpet. "Oh dear, poor baby, are you alright? Good! Eww...Mum'll just clean this up..."

DF comes downstairs asking if he can help. I say no, bend down to the mess, and:

"EWW! There's a WHOLE SLUG in here!" :o Well, that explains a lot. ::)

It gets worse.

DF makes a move to get the cat litter (to pour over the mess to blot up the fluid element, so to speak, before sweeping and scrubbing), and suddenly says, "Sara, don't step backwards."

I turn round.

Inches behind my left foot is the largest dead mouse I have ever seen in my life. :P :o Broken neck, bloodied fur, the full works.

I give vent to an ear-shattering squeal :-[ (look, I can handle live ones, just not...the other sort), jump with shock and ALMOST tread in the slug-vomit mess, DF jumps too at the noise, and cat leaps yowling out of window convinced we're crazy.

Saint DF disposes of dead rodent and I clear up the slug. Cat slinks back shamefacedly 2 hours later.

DF points out that it's good practice for if we ever have kids.

I point out that if I ever have slug-devouring, mouse-slaughtering children, our priest will be on speed-dial for fast and rigorous exorcisms.

milosparront

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2007, 04:14:12 PM »
My mother once hosted a fairly formal eveing outdoors cocktail shindig years back. She spent weeks preparing and all day stressing, cleaning and cooking. She was dressed to the nines and trying to be perfect. About 30 min into the party, she's talking to a guest, hears a noise, looks up.... and catches a load of bird doo right in the mouth.

My mother's EXTREMELY type-A and perfectionist. It was pretty funny to watch the fall-out. :P



O.M.G.!!!  YOU owe me a new computer monitor!!!  LOL!!!   :o

Wulfie

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #14 on: June 01, 2007, 04:34:54 PM »
I was in Search and Rescue and went to put a gentleman in a bodybag (he had passed away quite a while before we found him) and his head rolled across my foot and down the hill! SHUDDER! I had to toss those boots. I couldn't even look at them without feeling it again!  :-X

On the flip side. I met my hubby when we were assigned to the team together to go find the head! Talk about the funny looks when people asked how we met. "Over someones dead body." :)