Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

[White Dragon]

Oh, let's see...Warning - Third entry should be viewed with care

Dh is changing dd's diaper.
Like the good dad he is, he puts one hand on the baby as he bends down to place the dirty diaper in the pail.
Just as hubby's head is level with the table, dd sneezes.
The force shot poop out of baby and all over dh's face...

I finished the change while he showered baby poop out of his beard.

And then there was:

A mom I know checked on what her toddler had in her mouth.
A mouse's head.
.
.
.
.


And a dad I know found his toddler sucking on a dead mouse - with a torn up and empty abdomen.

[Shoo]

The other day me, dh, and dd were all outside in the backyard, just hanging out.  I was fiddling with the sprinklers or something.  I overheard a conversation between dh and dd.  There was something on the deck railing.  They were examining it and dh said, "Oh, look, dd!  A cocoon!  It looks like something has just broken free of it!"  Dd was so excited.  She wondered what it was.  A butterfly?  A moth?  It must have been something really kewl! 

I didn't think much of it, myself.  But the next day, when I was sweeping of the deck, I got a look at the "cocoon" myself.  I shook my head, went inside, and broke the news to Dh.  "Dh, you know that cocoon you and dd found yesterday?  Um, yeah.  That's a hairball.  Bella must have barfed it up on the deck railing."

[Ferrets]

DF points out that it's good practice for if we ever have kids.

I point out that if I ever have slug-devouring, mouse-slaughtering children, our priest will be on speed-dial for fast and rigorous exorcisms.

A mom I know checked on what her toddler had in her mouth.
A mouse's head.
.
.
.
.


And a dad I know found his toddler sucking on a dead mouse - with a torn up and empty abdomen.

OK...I'll PM you with the number for that priest...

[Harriet Jones]

We get some large-ish spiders in our basement. If they leave me alone, I leave them alone, but this one was crawling in some laundry.  So I squished it.  When I came back with a paper towel to pick it up, most of it was gone and my toddler was in the laundry room .... 

[Kiwichick]

Yesterday, actually. DS was "napping" in his crib and has recently started taking off his diaper whenever he gets the chance. You know where this one is going...

I guess he decided to make me a sculpture for Mother's Day 

It was EVERYWHERE! He crammed poop inside the holes where the screws go in the crib, all over the slats, all over him...

I read this to Kiwiguy.  His parents walked in on him smeared from head to toe in his own cr@p.  And he'd smeared it all over himself, his clothes, his toys, his playpen...

They were horrified, he was grinning from ear to ear.  He reckons it's just like warm mud.

Obviously, this was a fair few years ago (I hope)  .

[milosparront]

About a century ago, my brother and his wife came over to visit with my husband and me.  Now, mind you, my brother always had a ferocious appetite and would usually raid our fridge for something to eat. 

My husband was an avid fisherman at the time and used to keep worms in the fridge.  The worms were in Styrofoam containers and not marked easily marked to show what the item was.  Brother (hungry as usual) picked up the container of worms and opened it. 

When the light hit the sleepping slim......  the worms of course became animated and started wreathing!!!  Needless to say, my brother lost his appetite and the worms ended up on my kitchen floor!!!   ........  It took Bro a LONG time to get over that one!!!  LOL........  It's been about 25 years and he to this day hasn't opened my fridge door!!

[Cyndi]

Oh boy *rubs hands together* I have a few. WARNING: VERY DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!


Gross out number 1)
A few years ago my granny(mom's stepmom) brought over some huge cucumbers from her back yard. After making several jokes of how they resembled a certain part of a man's anatomy, I put them in the bottom drawer of the fridge and forgot about them for six months.

Six months later, I opened the fridge and noticed the cucumbers. I cautiously pulled open the drawer and these things were covered in patches of black, white and brown fuzzy mold with all kinds of fuzzy juice in the bottom of the drawer. I very lightly touched one to see if it was solid enough to pick up.......and the cucumber EXPLODED. It literally exploded and splattered moldy, stinky juice all down my shirt.

Naturally, I screamed and ran to my mom, who cleaned it up while I took a very long shower.


Gross out number 2)
Church, in the middle of choir. I was on the heavy day of my period and every time I stood up I could feel chunks of my endometrium sliding out. During a hymn, somehow, I shifted my weight so that the pad tilted sideways and I felt a huge, warm gush go straight down my leg and into my shoe. Luckily I had on pants that were baggy around my legs and nobody could tell what thappened.

Ironically, that happened right as I sang the lyrics, "and the BLOOD of Christ out-poured..."

I was too ashamed to go into the restroom and have people see my leg, so I limped to the car and cleaned up at home. By some miracle I didn't get any blood or goop on my pants. My foot and the inside of the one shoe looked like a massacre, though. (and I really hated those shoes so I was glad for an excuse to toss them out!)


Gross out number 3)
Two days after I got Bernie, he started to have runny poops that turned into diarrhea. Turns out he came to us infected with Giardia(the irresponsible parent of the human variety who gave him to us swore it couldn't be from there, but our vet said if the puppy got sick within three days or less of getting him, he got infected while he was at the irresponsible parent of the human variety's). So anyway, Bernie went on antibiotics.

Well, because of this I'd wake up to find a puddle of diarrhea in the middle of his pen every morning for about a week before the antibiotics started to work. He couldn't do it on his pee/poop pad, he had to do it on the plastic. Luckily I had a sinus infection so I never had to smell it.

But then there was a day where I let him run loose a little since he'd just emptied his bowels. He ran into the front bathroom and I saw him squat by the toilet. I bolted into the bathroom and hoisted poor baby Bernie over the toilet right as he let go. I felt something hot on my hand and looked down to see my forearm and palm COVERED in yellow dog diarrhea. I started crying and screaming at my mom to GET IN HERE AND HOLD THIS DOG! I remember that she took a fricken eternity to get there, while I felt this liquid poop jiggling on my skin and imagined the bacteria seeping into my pores and bloodstream. I am a complete germophobe so having poop on me was horrifying.


There ya go.

[snoopygirl]

I have one. This happened when I was little. So it was told to me second hand. It is rather gross so tmi alert. My sister and I were babies so we were getting a bath. My dad had us sitting on towels. We both went to the bathroom on the towels. My dad for some reason didn't see us go poopy on the towels and decided to dry our hair with the said towels. We got poopy in our hair. Eww.

[kingsrings]

I was in Search and Rescue and went to put a gentleman in a bodybag (he had passed away quite a while before we found him) and his head rolled across my foot and down the hill! SHUDDER! I had to toss those boots. I couldn't even look at them without feeling it again! 

Oh my goodness, I am stifling a big belly-laugh right now. I have a sick sense of humor and this is exactly what gets me going. I'm just visualizing that in my head. I hope his head didn't roll into a place where people were gathered, that would be quite a mood-killer. Did you sing, "This old man came rolling home" when it happened?? 

[kingsrings]

1) M brother and I filled the dishwasher to capacity and ran it. When it was over with, we opened it up and there was this huge mass of hair, dirt, food, and Lord knows what else impacted together in a square-shaped clod. We referred to it as "dinner-block".

Do not read if you're squeamish about blood

2) I had a three-week stay in the hospital once when I was 12 years old. I was constantly hooked up to an IV and one time it came a little bit loose from it's moorings and started pouring out red-colored liquid all over me, my clothes, my bed. I called in the nurse and asked if it was blood, and she said yes, it was blood mixed with the antibiotics. 

[Paper Roses]

By comparison, I guess these aren't so bad, but they're the first to pop into my head at the moment . . .

When I was 18, I had my wisdom teeth out.  When I was in the recovery room, in and out of consciousness, I felt something like a big balloon inside my mouth, between my gum and cheek.  When the nurse came over to check on me, I asked "What's in my mouth?"  I thought maybe they had put something in there for some reason.  She said, "Huh?  Let's see.  Open up."  I did, and she covered her finger with a tissue or napkin or something and stuck it in my mouth, hooked her finger and removed it.  Her whole hand was covered in blood, and she announced, "It's a blood clot."  Of course, when she was removing it it broke and filled my entire mouth with blood . . . .


Two years ago, I had to have emergency surgery to remove 18 inches of intestine.  The first couple of days after the surgery, there was a tube up my nose and down my throat.  The tube lead to the a bottle attached to the wall behind my hospital bed.  Luckily, I couldn't see the bottle, and I was too drugged up to turn around to look.  Suffice it to say my husband told me it would be a long time before he could ever eat pesto again.


Ok, last one for now.  A few years ago, it was a summer day and I had slept a little late.  My kids had already gotten up (at least the 2 older ones had) and were downstairs watching TV.  I woke up and decided to take a shower.  When I got out of the shower, I heard the front door open.  I yelled down to my son, asking him why the front door had been opened.  He said, "I heard a car pull up and I thought it was Dad."  I asked him why on earth he thought his Dad would be coming home at 10:00 in the morning.  He said "Well, uh, I called him."  I asked him what for.  He said, "'Cause the cat brought a dead squirrel into the living room." 

I thanked him profusely for being smart enough to call his father home rather than alert me to that one.

[Wulfie]

I was in Search and Rescue and went to put a gentleman in a bodybag (he had passed away quite a while before we found him) and his head rolled across my foot and down the hill! SHUDDER! I had to toss those boots. I couldn't even look at them without feeling it again! 

Oh my goodness, I am stifling a big belly-laugh right now. I have a sick sense of humor and this is exactly what gets me going. I'm just visualizing that in my head. I hope his head didn't roll into a place where people were gathered, that would be quite a mood-killer. Did you sing, "This old man came rolling home" when it happened?? 

Nope,we were professional about it and didn't think to sing (wish I would have. that would have been really funny!  Yes, I am warped and twisted!)

Fortunately it was in the back country on a mountain side so there was not anyone around to have it be a mood killer. I have other stories however that WERE that bad.

[Shoo]

Think of how quiet the mountains are when they are covered in snow.  Even at a ski resort, it is beautifully peaceful and quiet.  You can hear for miles, it seems.

Now picture a young woman, attempting to ski for only the 2nd time in her life, going down a slope a little too advanced for her.  Picking up speed.  Careening wildly out of control.  Doing cartwheels.

Then imagine the sound of two of the bones in her leg breaking.  Imagine that sound in the quiet of the mountains.  Yes, everyone can hear it.  It is an unmistakable sound.

Still makes me shudder to remember it.

[Ulla dances in a silly way]

So, my high school was in the middle on no where in a field/wilderness kind of place. For some reason, during Spring all of these medium-sized black beetles would gather in the alcoves around all the exterior doors. They would be in big piles in the corners, carpeting the entire entry, and even spilled inside.

Ok, I hate hate HATE stepping on any kind of bug that crunches. My old Roomie and I would actually fight about who had to kill roaches. You see where this is going?

Go to school every day was not fun, but is you were careful, you could avoid all the bugs. One day in the middle of the invasion, a teacher asked if anyone in class had a truck. (Actually, she asked if any boys in the class had a truck because she needed someone to take some tables the school borrowed back to a local church. None did and I was quite proud of myself to raise my hand and assert my manliness :p ) So, me and a friend carry the tables out to my truck.

You can't dodge bugs when walking backward and carrying a 6 ft. table. Imagine a carpet of bugs, in flip flops, and knowing that you'll have to make this trip at least six times. Bleh...


One more. I was at work and my manager asked if I would sweep the bathroom. Sure, no problem, I don't mind sweeping.

Except this time. In just the ladies room, I found a used diaper, wadded up used toilet paper (why??!! People have told me that in some countries you don't flush toilet paper down the toilet. Well, if I went to those countries, people would expect me to know that and not flush it. It would be considered rude of me to ignore the local practice. Can I not expect the same respect?) and, worst of all, period stained panties.

Blech....

-Ulla

[Paper Roses]

Bugs in flip-flops?  Sounds pretty cool, actually.  Although i didn't know they made flip-flops that small.