Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

[Nikko-chan]

Speaking of teeth, I did get to take my wisdom teeth home. With bits of flesh still stuck to them... which would be gross enough, but when I tried to clean the teeth by soaking them in some hard liquor, all the fles did was lose its color and go grayish. Now my wisdom teeth look like there's Zombie flesh on them 

Soak them in hot water and dishwasher detergent. Trust me on this.

Then make zombie flesh soup! No?  Oh, okay 

I think I didn't get to take mine home because they were all in pieces...yes, my wisdom teeth were that bad.  They didn't hurt so I never bothered with them, until I bit down on something and I felt my tooth crumble.

I worry sometimes about washing my dishes in dishwasher detergent. It will obliterate everything in its path. We go through several hundred pounds of Cascade in the lab every year. And yes, I did learn this from the Revered and Most Holy Dr Bill Bass.

We had a lively debate at a recent forensics conference over the relative merits of Cascade vs. Biz. Even after a side by side lab comparison, I was not convinced.

As for Zombie Soup, I'm not sure. Can zombie innards be affected by caustic alkalines?

Is it okay that my brain went "why the heck are we talking.... *looks up at thread title* oh I forgot I was reading the Gross Out thread."? Cause I really did forget what thread I was reading... -_-

[MommyPenguin]

And I, grumpy, bronchitic, overworked, and short on sleep, will take fiendish delight in tracking you down at your new duty station. I will display your handiwork in front of your shipmates and your department head, and will demand in a voice much louder than actually necessary, what you thought you were doing. And I will leave you the cooler, garbage bags, suitcase, and very defunct collection of Atlantic sea snails.

My husband said you are *awesome*, he loves that you actually tracked the guy to his new base, and we could use some people like you in the Air Force. 

[vorbau]

And I, grumpy, bronchitic, overworked, and short on sleep, will take fiendish delight in tracking you down at your new duty station. I will display your handiwork in front of your shipmates and your department head, and will demand in a voice much louder than actually necessary, what you thought you were doing. And I will leave you the cooler, garbage bags, suitcase, and very defunct collection of Atlantic sea snails.

My husband said you are *awesome*, he loves that you actually tracked the guy to his new base, and we could use some people like you in the Air Force. 

A compliment froom the USAF, given that I work for the USN, is a compliment worth having! Tell him he can just arrange to sneak some dying seashells into somebody's luggage ...

And wouldn't "Zombie Flesh Soup" be a great name for a garage band?

[diesel_darlin]

And wouldn't "Zombie Flesh Soup" be a great name for a garage band?


Why yes! Yes it would! 

[Mental Magpie]

How about an awesome zombie book?

"As I slowly sipped on my zombie flesh soup, I surveyed the land around me.  I'm no doctor or anything, but I figure I may be able to work up an immunity to this.  Besides, I'm hungry, there's not a lot left to eat that I don't have to grow."

(Don't you steal that from me!  I think I may be on to something!)

[vorbau]

So the lab guys wanted to know what I was laughing about, and I read them the egg farts string. Whereupon they composed the Gross Out Fart Diet for our next Ehell picnic:

Pickled deviled eggs with chopped raw garlic & onion, garnished with toasted flax seed and bran
Casseroled broccoli, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts in cheese sauce
Fresh asparagus steamed with beer
Salad of black, red, pinto and garbanzo beans
Apple and carrot salad with raisins and prunes
Fresh celery and cucumbers with artichoke dip
Baked cabbage stuffed with onions, scallions and corn
Cabbage coleslaw dressed with sauerkraut
Choice of adzuki bean, pickled plum, or fresh peach ice cream
Choice of beer and carbonated drinks

It may be that these guys don't have enough work to do; they swear they researched this through NIH publications.

[Mental Magpie]

I wondered if we could set a world record at an even like that...muahahahahaha.

Also, I like these guys, they sound like a hoot 

[Ms_Cellany]

Vorbau, don't forget the compote of dried apricots and grated raw Jerusalem artichoke!

[alkira6]

Really, just have an upper and lower GI scope done on the same day. EPIC gas. EPIC.  Scared the dog I did.

[Editeer]

Salad Spicy chili of black, red, pinto and garbanzo beans

Fixed.

[vorbau]

I wondered if we could set a world record at an even like that...muahahahahaha.

Also, I like these guys, they sound like a hoot 

They would fit in here quite nicely; they are some seriously sick puppies.

Change of subject - since my last memo went over so well, here's another, inspired by a call yesterday (elderly person in a stall of a restroom at a PX, apparently had a massive heart attack and, well, was DRT (Dead Right There):

MEMORANDUM FOR: My Interns, Present and Future
FROM: Vorbau
SUBJECT: Food Selection When on Call

I realize that this is your first actual, IRL exposure to the unexpurgated version of forensic science - this is not YouTube, TV, or your previous academic settings. However, you are here to learn, and for that reason I teach and otherwise operate with the opening sequence of "Quincy" always firmly in mind.

Therefore, I strongly suggest that when you know you are part of the on-call team, you select your foods and beverages using the following criteria:

1. It should be as easy to bring up as it is to get down (i.e., no acids, burning spices, or sharp corners)
2. It should be something you won't mind seeing again
3. It should, upon its reappearance, not produce effluvia that could be confused with the rest of the crime scene.

Accordingly, breakfasting on 2 lb of circus peanuts (remaindered with the Easter candy at the PX) and a vanilla caramel latte is not the best exercise of culinary judgment. I do apologize for laughing (even if a small evil part of me thought you deserved it because of the circus peanuts), but I cannot be held responsible for the behavior of the rest of the team (who, inevitably, changed his nickname from "Chuck" to "Upchuck").

I will understand completely if you ask to be transfered to another division for the remainder of your internship. Your "Dr" doesn't have to stand for "Lecter" in this field, but it helps.

Respectfully,
Vorbau

[diesel_darlin]

I love your Memo's Vorbau!!!


I would also like to add that I made egg salad last night. I carried 2 egg salad sandwiches with me to transmission class this morning. By the time I get home I should be ready to run hubby out of the house. 

[hermanne]

DD doesn't always flush the toilet.
The bathroom in the basement rarely gets used.
Guess what I found this morning.
 

[Mental Magpie]

Nooooo!  Moldy pee smells soooo bad....at least I hope for your sake that it was pee.

[hermanne]

Nope. It was a two-flusher.

And a LOT of room freshener.