Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

[greencat]

My dog keeps farting into the intake for the central air

Put a box in front of the intake.  Block him from that section of the floor.

Unfortunately, blocking the intake like that would also block my walkway out of my bedroom

[DrinkingTea (was Sneezy)]

Minnie, my lovely orange cat, suffers from IBD and pancreatic insufficiency. This means her output is far, far worse than anything that normally comes from a cat.

The night before last, she horked.  She moved her body as she horked, leaving what appeared to be the dentures of a puke monster.  Each "tooth" was about four inches in diameter and the semi circle was about three feet in diameter.  There was so much puke that I had to use a bath towel to clean it up and then shake it over the trash, screaming, crying, and cussing while holding my breath.  Then, she went to the litterbox and relieved herself of a peanut butter textured mound of gorgonzola scented hell.  This was followed by her screaming at me to clean that up, too.

You'd think she'd learn not to steal my roommate's McNuggets after this, but no.

[Mental Magpie]

Minnie, my lovely orange cat, suffers from IBD and pancreatic insufficiency. This means her output is far, far worse than anything that normally comes from a cat.

The night before last, she horked.  She moved her body as she horked, leaving what appeared to be the dentures of a puke monster.  Each "tooth" was about four inches in diameter and the semi circle was about three feet in diameter.  There was so much puke that I had to use a bath towel to clean it up and then shake it over the trash, screaming, crying, and cussing while holding my breath.  Then, she went to the litterbox and relieved herself of a peanut butter textured mound of gorgonzola scented hell.  This was followed by her screaming at me to clean that up, too.

You'd think she'd learn not to steal my roommate's McNuggets after this, but no.

Your description is so very...accurate of exactly what I would see/go through.  So accurate in fact, I may be laughing just a little, and for that I am sorry. 

*Is IBD in cats what IBS is in humans?  It seems like it, from your description.  If so, I feel for your cat, as I have IBS.

[Kimblee]

Just fell on an old broadhead arrow while cleaning out my brother's room. I was a blood fountain for about three minutes. Now I've got a weird hole that opens and closes as I walk. I'm pretty sure this is gonna scar, but at least its stopped bleeding. I can see weird layers if I look at it too long.

Owie...owie...owie....

Please, some sympathy? Or at least get a good laugh.

[RebeccainGA]

Just fell on an old broadhead arrow while cleaning out my brother's room. I was a blood fountain for about three minutes. Now I've got a weird hole that opens and closes as I walk. I'm pretty sure this is gonna scar, but at least its stopped bleeding. I can see weird layers if I look at it too long.

Owie...owie...owie....

Please, some sympathy? Or at least get a good laugh.

Um, sympathy, bandages, and a suggestion to see a doctor for some stitches.... sounds like the 'trying to put a new hole in my birkenstocks and sliced to the bone instead' I did in high school.

[Kimblee]

Just fell on an old broadhead arrow while cleaning out my brother's room. I was a blood fountain for about three minutes. Now I've got a weird hole that opens and closes as I walk. I'm pretty sure this is gonna scar, but at least its stopped bleeding. I can see weird layers if I look at it too long.

Owie...owie...owie....

Please, some sympathy? Or at least get a good laugh.

Um, sympathy, bandages, and a suggestion to see a doctor for some stitches.... sounds like the 'trying to put a new hole in my birkenstocks and sliced to the bone instead' I did in high school.

Got the bandages, can't get a darn ride to the ER for stitches. My dad bandaged it and swears its not gonna scar. I bet he's wrong about that though.

[Diane AKA Traska]

Just fell on an old broadhead arrow while cleaning out my brother's room. I was a blood fountain for about three minutes. Now I've got a weird hole that opens and closes as I walk. I'm pretty sure this is gonna scar, but at least its stopped bleeding. I can see weird layers if I look at it too long.

Owie...owie...owie....

Please, some sympathy? Or at least get a good laugh.

Um, sympathy, bandages, and a suggestion to see a doctor for some stitches.... sounds like the 'trying to put a new hole in my birkenstocks and sliced to the bone instead' I did in high school.

Got the bandages, can't get a darn ride to the ER for stitches. My dad bandaged it and swears its not gonna scar. I bet he's wrong about that though.

Take it from someone who wound up with a few of these.  *It will scar*.  How much it scars depends on whether you get proper treatment or not.

[hermanne]

Just fell on an old broadhead arrow while cleaning out my brother's room. I was a blood fountain for about three minutes. Now I've got a weird hole that opens and closes as I walk. I'm pretty sure this is gonna scar, but at least its stopped bleeding. I can see weird layers if I look at it too long.

Owie...owie...owie....

Please, some sympathy? Or at least get a good laugh.

Um, sympathy, bandages, and a suggestion to see a doctor for some stitches.... sounds like the 'trying to put a new hole in my birkenstocks and sliced to the bone instead' I did in high school.

Agree, sounds like stitches are needed!

Reminds me of the next-door kid when I was growing up. He cut his arm open with an axe while splitting wood. It didn't bleed, and you could see the muscles and I think some bone. (I didn't see it but my brother did. Judging by the bandages and stitches I don't think bro was exaggerating. Much.)

[Kimblee]

Just fell on an old broadhead arrow while cleaning out my brother's room. I was a blood fountain for about three minutes. Now I've got a weird hole that opens and closes as I walk. I'm pretty sure this is gonna scar, but at least its stopped bleeding. I can see weird layers if I look at it too long.

Owie...owie...owie....

Please, some sympathy? Or at least get a good laugh.

Um, sympathy, bandages, and a suggestion to see a doctor for some stitches.... sounds like the 'trying to put a new hole in my birkenstocks and sliced to the bone instead' I did in high school.

Got the bandages, can't get a darn ride to the ER for stitches. My dad bandaged it and swears its not gonna scar. I bet he's wrong about that though.

Take it from someone who wound up with a few of these.  *It will scar*.  How much it scars depends on whether you get proper treatment or not.

Oh lovely...

How long do you think I have before stitches are useless? I bet I can convince my stepmom to take me when she gets home. (I miss my car.)

On the other hand, a scar might be useful. Emotional blackmail for the twerp who left six broadheads point up in a coffee can under a pile of laundry.  (Kidding! Mostly.)

@hermanne- I held the thing open so I could clean out the dust and couldn't see bone. On the other hand (I swear I'm not being dramatic) I think I felt it scape the bone when it went in. I might just be feeling sorry for myself.

[Diane AKA Traska]

Just fell on an old broadhead arrow while cleaning out my brother's room. I was a blood fountain for about three minutes. Now I've got a weird hole that opens and closes as I walk. I'm pretty sure this is gonna scar, but at least its stopped bleeding. I can see weird layers if I look at it too long.

Owie...owie...owie....

Please, some sympathy? Or at least get a good laugh.

Um, sympathy, bandages, and a suggestion to see a doctor for some stitches.... sounds like the 'trying to put a new hole in my birkenstocks and sliced to the bone instead' I did in high school.

Got the bandages, can't get a darn ride to the ER for stitches. My dad bandaged it and swears its not gonna scar. I bet he's wrong about that though.

Take it from someone who wound up with a few of these.  *It will scar*.  How much it scars depends on whether you get proper treatment or not.

Oh lovely...

How long do you think I have before stitches are useless? I bet I can convince my stepmom to take me when she gets home. (I miss my car.)

On the other hand, a scar might be useful. Emotional blackmail for the twerp who left six broadheads point up in a coffee can under a pile of laundry.  (Kidding! Mostly.)

@hermanne- I held the thing open so I could clean out the dust and couldn't see bone. On the other hand (I swear I'm not being dramatic) I think I felt it scape the bone when it went in. I might just be feeling sorry for myself.

That I can't say for sure... but I've still got a scar on my left knee from when I was four, and that got stitched *very* quick.

[Twik]

Just fell on an old broadhead arrow while cleaning out my brother's room. I was a blood fountain for about three minutes. Now I've got a weird hole that opens and closes as I walk. I'm pretty sure this is gonna scar, but at least its stopped bleeding. I can see weird layers if I look at it too long.

Owie...owie...owie....

Please, some sympathy? Or at least get a good laugh.

Oh dear.

I was told stitches should be put in within 24 hours. AFter that, they usually won't stitch.

(I learned this listening to the cubicle beside me, while I was being stitched myself....)

They can still put on a proper bandage, and make sure there's no infection, though.

My sympathies - it sounds painful.

[Snooks]

I think it depends on the wound as to how much it scars.  I've got a horrible scar on my arm that was stitched within an hour of it happening, however that wound was a basically a big hole that they had to patch up.

[violinp]

Cabbage got a deep cut on her knee, and all they did at the ER was put salt water in. Apparently, it was more trouble to put them in, because knees are such high - traffic areas of movement that the stitches were almost certain to rip.

[Diane AKA Traska]

Heh, mine turned out just fine.  I have a scar the size of a green bean, but it stayed stitched.

[Esther_bunny]

I cut myself trying to open a paint can and the next day a coworker (former EMT) said I should get stitches. So after work I went and they pumped me with saline and then put stitches in, I have a tiny scar.
I also learned not to open a paint can with a steak knife.