Okay, my first post, but I've spent all week (at work, no less) reading this entire thread. And some of them have been doozies, but here goes some of my "greatest hits" from my last job, to start with.
I used to work in a grooming salon. We had a puppy come in one day, cute little thing. He was acting kind of slow, but we figured it was probably nerves, as he was being very good for everything. I bathed him and dried him and put him into a kennel to work on another dog and give him a break when I heard a horking sound. I turned around slowly and looked at what he had left in the bottom of his kennel. It was a very skimpy undergarment, mostly intact. I re-bathed the puppy (who felt so much better now) and had the most awkward conversation when I had to call his owners and tell them what he'd done, and then ask if they wanted it back. Thankfully, they declined.
We also had a dog in one day who had eaten an entire four pack of Cadbury's Creme Eggs. I only know this because they came back up. Wrappers and all.
We frequently had frightened dogs, but the one that takes the prize for the most terrified was a cocker spaniel that managed to get up under our computer desk, poop all over the printer and desk fixtures, and then spray diarrhea all over the rest of everything else in the front. We couldn't re-bathe him because he was too scared.
I can say for certain, anal gland secretions taste just as foul as they smell. We didn't do internal expression, but there were some days where we'd have little guys come in with toothpaste stuck up in there, or so it seemed. They always seemed to feel better after it came out.
I've seen a dog that had eaten pantyhose. They go through the digestive tract intact, but don't always want to come out at once. Cue two people holding the dog down and trying to keep it calm while a third kept tugging until it was all gone.
We had one dog come in one time, matted and stinky. Which happened all too frequently, sadly. But we began shaving the mats off, thinking that once we got it all stripped down and cleaned the smell would go away. Except, it had a giant infected abcess the size of its head under a mat on its neck. We called the owner and sent him to the vet to get him taken care of before we'd see him again, but that thing smelled AWFUL!
Then there was the one that came in with cutaneous horns and sebaceous cysts all over. I'd always knock off the loose horns at the pore, but this guy had ones worse than anything I've ever seen online anywhere. They covered him, we had to hand-scissor the entire dog because they covered his body entirely. I'd always work on squeezing out his pores from the keratinous stuff when I could, and he never minded, but some of these pores were the size of his paws, poor buddy.
I was also the only person brave enough to clean out behind all the kennels on a regular basis. I found, at various times, a five inch mushroom stalk (and I did clean it out every week, so it grew FAST), mold beds, homegrown mud in dog hair, more bugs than I care to count, and towels that fell under there that nobody cared to retrieve. I didn't care at that point that we had an outside towel service, I threw them away.
Now I'm off to introduce myself formally elsewhere, I just had to get this first batch of gross out of the way.