Author Topic: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart  (Read 746389 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3885 on: May 14, 2013, 12:28:44 PM »
As I was leaving Sam's Club yesterday, the woman checking receipts at the exit stuck her entire finger in her ear and moved it around vigorously. She then took my receipt and marked it as usual. It was so gross.

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3886 on: May 15, 2013, 12:48:09 AM »
A couple years ago, my lovely, Max passed at home. I called the ex, to come and get him to bury him. We knew Max was on his way out, but was still eating. His last meal was canned Kibbles and Bits. He died some time in the night, in his sleep, after he ate.

Three words sum that up. Dead dog farts. Not pretty. Not pretty at all.

RooRoo

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3887 on: May 15, 2013, 04:10:13 PM »
Speaking of farts... My DH has been known to say, "I got skills, I got game." This is why: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDV0SKOmJfs
"Someday we must write a book of Etiquette for sensible people," said Mrs. Morland, "though apart from a few rules it really boils down to an educated mind and a kind heart." ~ Angela Thirkell, Never Too Late

twiggy

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3888 on: May 16, 2013, 02:01:14 AM »
This week has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very BAD week.

On Monday DD was supposed to be buckling herself into the van, but instead she fell out onto the asphalt of the parking lot, head first. Much bleeding, and panic ensued and we spent the next few hours in the ER. 4 stitches later she's fine, but it was very stressful. Oh, and we discovered that she has an ear infection also. So yay  :(

Now on to the gross out part. See, before our day was derailed, we had been running errands. I had 2 packages of sausage, some pork chops, a gallon of milk, cream cheese, regular cheese, and orange juice. This was Monday, early afternoon. Other than a trip to the pharmacy, we haven't left the house since then. Tonight (Wednesday night) I had to run to the grocery store and I was greeted by the pungent aroma of highly perishable items that spent 2.5 days in the back of a van that is parked in the driveway in an area that has been experiencing triple digit temps.

When milk spends days curdling in the hot summer sun, it expands. If you're particularly lucky it will expand beyond the containment abilities of the plastic jug. The end result will physically resemble cottage cheese, though I doubt that's the recommended procedure for making it.

If you are exceptionally lucky, you will have hit the window vents in your panic to get doors locked/unlocked in the process of unloading 3 kids at the hospital. Hitting the window vent buttons will allow flies to come into the van and lay eggs in the rotting meat, and you will have many, many flies, and the maggots, meaning you now have who knows how many generations of flies in your vehicle.

Tomorrow morning I am steam cleaning the van.
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3889 on: May 16, 2013, 02:45:11 AM »
As soon as I hit the word "sausages", I knew it would be EPIC.
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ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3890 on: May 16, 2013, 08:02:58 AM »
I hope steam cleaning does the trick.

Carotte

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3891 on: May 16, 2013, 09:24:30 AM »
I'm not sure I could survive that (strong gag reflex). I would consider selling my soul or being in debt for 5 generations if I have too, and call a crime scene clean-up crew.
Or just burn the whole thing down.

twiggy

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3892 on: May 16, 2013, 12:00:11 PM »
Oh, and I forgot about this one....I thought about putting it in the kids say the funniest things thread, but it involved bodily functions. The reason we hadn't gone anywhere for  a couple of days is that 5/5 people in my house got a stomach bug. 4yo DS didn't know the word "diarrhea," he did, however, know that wasn't normal. He came tearing out of the bathroom crying that he "pooped soup and not poop" I calmed him down and explained what was going on in his little body.

Today when I dropped him off at preschool, he ran up to the teacher and announced "I didn't come at school because I had to poop a lot. And it was gross" Cue a group of fascinated little boys crowding around asking about color and smell  :-\
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Reika

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3893 on: May 16, 2013, 01:59:40 PM »
And this thread is proof that we don't grow out of such fascination, twiggy. ;)

Though I did have a funny (to me) encounter at work today. Though I feel kind of bad for the other woman. I've been on antibiotics the past week and while I haven't had diarrhea, it's been close. And I'm afraid this morning at work my body decided it needed to um, evacuate rather urgently.

Thinking that I'd minimize the resulting odor, I took the stall at the end of the bathroom. Unfortunately, it just filled the entire room (to give an idea of the size, there's 4 normal sized stalls, a good sized handicap stall and a bank of 3 sinks). Once I was done, and no matter how much I flushed, there was a ring of bright yellow on the inside of the toilet. If I turned off the light, I have a feeling it might have glowed a bit.

Grateful that there was no one else in there at the time, I just got to the sink to wash my hands when the door opened.

I could see the look of horror that spread on the woman's face and she asked, "Oh Deity, did someone change a diaper in here?"

Just what I needed to hear, and like a coward, didn't say anything because I wasn't sure what to say.

And of course she picked the stall I used which she immediately came out of saying, "Sweet Baby Deity, it's radioactive"

I fled with my paper towels to dry my hands on the way back to my desk.

So I apparently am having not just baby poop, but radioactive baby poop. Thank goodness tomorrow is the last day  of the stuff.

snowfire

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3894 on: May 16, 2013, 02:22:04 PM »
"Sweet Baby Deity, it's radioactive"

I'm glad my mascara is waterproof! I laughed until I cried, scared the cat off the desk and gave myself the hiccups from laughing so hard!

I've had odd reactions to antibiotics before, but never radioactive ones.  :o ;D

deadbody

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3895 on: May 16, 2013, 02:42:58 PM »
And this thread is proof that we don't grow out of such fascination, twiggy. ;)

Though I did have a funny (to me) encounter at work today. Though I feel kind of bad for the other woman. I've been on antibiotics the past week and while I haven't had diarrhea, it's been close. And I'm afraid this morning at work my body decided it needed to um, evacuate rather urgently.

Thinking that I'd minimize the resulting odor, I took the stall at the end of the bathroom. Unfortunately, it just filled the entire room (to give an idea of the size, there's 4 normal sized stalls, a good sized handicap stall and a bank of 3 sinks). Once I was done, and no matter how much I flushed, there was a ring of bright yellow on the inside of the toilet. If I turned off the light, I have a feeling it might have glowed a bit.

Grateful that there was no one else in there at the time, I just got to the sink to wash my hands when the door opened.

I could see the look of horror that spread on the woman's face and she asked, "Oh Deity, did someone change a diaper in here?"

Just what I needed to hear, and like a coward, didn't say anything because I wasn't sure what to say.

And of course she picked the stall I used which she immediately came out of saying, "Sweet Baby Deity, it's radioactive"

I fled with my paper towels to dry my hands on the way back to my desk.

So I apparently am having not just baby poop, but radioactive baby poop. Thank goodness tomorrow is the last day  of the stuff.

I used to be a vegan, and I would drink a large glass of cranberry juice every morning.  This did interesting things to my digestive system.  At work I was given my own bathroom, in the back corner of the basement, it was apparently that bad.  I have determined that if I need a system cleanse cranberry juice will empty me out right quick.

Thank you for the laugh.

Reika

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3896 on: May 16, 2013, 04:17:13 PM »
I will admit, I'm laughing about it now, and I suspect the bright yellow is the result of the Mountain Dew I had this morning.

At the time, I was embarrassed. And felt bad about the toxic fumes.

Cutenoob

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3897 on: May 16, 2013, 04:42:41 PM »
I will admit, I'm laughing about it now, and I suspect the bright yellow is the result of the Mountain Dew I had this morning.

At the time, I was embarrassed. And felt bad about the toxic fumes.

You mean this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di3CLFj6_Ag

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3898 on: May 16, 2013, 08:32:26 PM »

Cue a group of fascinated little boys crowding around asking about color and smell  :-\



This will only be the first time for this. There will be conversations of this nature over poop, farts, burps, vomit, and blood. Welcome to the world of boys.

greencat

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #3899 on: May 16, 2013, 11:17:08 PM »
So, I fell off my bike rather dramatically on my way to work yesterday, and sprained my ankle.  Without further ado, I present:  Pictures!

In the hospital:


Last night:


Now: