Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

[Nikko-chan]

cwm I think you might win this page... O.o

[ladyknight1]

The healing spots on my lower lids are making them puffy and my eyes exude a lovely brown slime. It sucks to be me today.

[Twik]

cwm, look up "sebaceous cyst," it might sound familiar to you.

[magicdomino]

It's a hot day, and the blob of grey stuff on the carport isn't just debris, it's a young dead rat.  I am so not looking forward to moving it.   

[Snooks]

You lot made me have a dream the other night where there was white stuff being popped out of pores.

[twiggy]

in a household with 3 small children, things tend to be spilled a lot. As much as I try to keep on top of things, it's not uncommon to step on a damp rug and discover that one of the kiddos spilled their cup of water. And now that 2yo DD can get herself fruit and string cheese from the fridge, it's depressingly common to step on something squishy.

This week though, there's a new level of ick to stepping on something questionable. We adopted 3 puppies, and may end up with a kitten that MIL literally rescued from the pound (owner was trying to surrender cat, workers wouldn't take the cat without a surrender fee that owner didn't want to pay. Cue verbal abuse towards worker, physical abuse towards cat, and threats that cat wouldn't survive a ride home with owner. MIL spoke up and took cat), in addition to the puppy MIL adopted.

Puppies are adorable, and it is a lot of fun to watch the antics of kitten, but none of the 5 baby animals are housebroken. I've taken to mopping the floor 3-5 times per day, and I've steam cleaned the carpet 3 times this week.

In this scenario, you can probably guess at the number of gross experiences that DH and I have literally stumbled upon. But the one that takes the cake is the morning Baby took his diaper off. He's had an upset tummy, and suffered a nasty bout of diarrhea as he climbed down the stairs. 3 of the 4 puppies had accidents on the tile floor while I was cleaning up Baby and the stairs. Kitten amused himself with a game he invented that involved batting the chunks of puppy poo across the carpeted living room.

Puppies went on the back porch, Kitten was locked in the bathroom, and the kids watched a movie while I quietly wept.

[KimberlyM]

in a household with 3 small children, things tend to be spilled a lot. As much as I try to keep on top of things, it's not uncommon to step on a damp rug and discover that one of the kiddos spilled their cup of water. And now that 2yo DD can get herself fruit and string cheese from the fridge, it's depressingly common to step on something squishy.

This week though, there's a new level of ick to stepping on something questionable. We adopted 3 puppies, and may end up with a kitten that MIL literally rescued from the pound (owner was trying to surrender cat, workers wouldn't take the cat without a surrender fee that owner didn't want to pay. Cue verbal abuse towards worker, physical abuse towards cat, and threats that cat wouldn't survive a ride home with owner. MIL spoke up and took cat), in addition to the puppy MIL adopted.

Puppies are adorable, and it is a lot of fun to watch the antics of kitten, but none of the 5 baby animals are housebroken. I've taken to mopping the floor 3-5 times per day, and I've steam cleaned the carpet 3 times this week.

In this scenario, you can probably guess at the number of gross experiences that DH and I have literally stumbled upon. But the one that takes the cake is the morning Baby took his diaper off. He's had an upset tummy, and suffered a nasty bout of diarrhea as he climbed down the stairs. 3 of the 4 puppies had accidents on the tile floor while I was cleaning up Baby and the stairs. Kitten amused himself with a game he invented that involved batting the chunks of puppy poo across the carpeted living room.

Puppies went on the back porch, Kitten was locked in the bathroom, and the kids watched a movie while I quietly wept.

Oh wow...that's awful!  My toddler "finger painted" his room a couple weeks ago with the contents of his pants after an "accident".  I thought I was going to lose my mind, but I'm suddenly feeling that wasn't so bad!

[twiggy]

every one of my kids has "finger painted" DD still hasn't really stopped. She's showing signs of being ready to potty train, but in the mean time, if she's bored and has materials, the world (most often, the mini-van) is her canvass. That's not even a blip on the radar anymore

[Ms_Cellany]

I tossed a tomato that was a bit "off" into the backyard, on the theory that the local raccoons would eat it.

Next evening, when I was hanging clothes on the line, I discovered how high I can jump when I step on a tomato that I had forgotten about.

[wonderfullyanonymous]

But the one that takes the cake is the morning Baby took his diaper off. He's had an upset tummy, and suffered a nasty bout of diarrhea as he climbed down the stairs.

Put Baby's diaper on backwards, he will be unable to take it off. I know from experience, I had a baby who liked to strip, and then take off diaper. With diaper on backwards, Baby could strip down to diaper, but not take diaper off.

[Elfmama]

But the one that takes the cake is the morning Baby took his diaper off. He's had an upset tummy, and suffered a nasty bout of diarrhea as he climbed down the stairs.

Put Baby's diaper on backwards, he will be unable to take it off. I know from experience, I had a baby who liked to strip, and then take off diaper. With diaper on backwards, Baby could strip down to diaper, but not take diaper off.

I cut the feet off of their sleepers and sewed them on backwards, so that the zipper now ran up the back instead of down the front.  No more naked babies!

There's also using narrow strips of duct tape to secure the diaper.  Just be careful not to get the tape stuck on the baby. 

And speaking of duct tape, I am reliably informed that in this state, it is legal to duct-tape your child to a chair or the wall, as long as you remain in the room with them. 

[ladyknight1]

Oh, Twiggy, I feel for you!

[RooRoo]

3 of the 4 puppies had accidents on the tile floor...

Crates. They will save your sanity. And your rugs. Worth every penny. Give 'em a cookie every time they go in, and give them something to chew on, and they'll see the crate as their "den," which they don't soil (exception: dogs of any age from a puppy mill), and it's relatively easy to extend the den to include the rest of the house.

Crates also work during the chewing stage.

I have raised several puppies, and used to do rescue of a breed usually kept outdoors. What I don't know about housebreaking... (PM me, anybody, who would like more info!)

[Dazi]

But the one that takes the cake is the morning Baby took his diaper off. He's had an upset tummy, and suffered a nasty bout of diarrhea as he climbed down the stairs.

Put Baby's diaper on backwards, he will be unable to take it off. I know from experience, I had a baby who liked to strip, and then take off diaper. With diaper on backwards, Baby could strip down to diaper, but not take diaper off.

Warning....some ninja babies can still get out of this.  I could also get out of footed pajamas with the opening in the back, onsies and, and duct taped diapers.  Oh, I could also scale closets and counertops by the time I was about a year or so old.

Former ninja baby,
Dazi

[wonderfullyanonymous]

But the one that takes the cake is the morning Baby took his diaper off. He's had an upset tummy, and suffered a nasty bout of diarrhea as he climbed down the stairs.

Put Baby's diaper on backwards, he will be unable to take it off. I know from experience, I had a baby who liked to strip, and then take off diaper. With diaper on backwards, Baby could strip down to diaper, but not take diaper off.

Warning....some ninja babies can still get out of this.  I could also get out of footed pajamas with the opening in the back, onsies and, and duct taped diapers.  Oh, I could also scale closets and counertops by the time I was about a year or so old.

Former ninja baby,
Dazi

Youngest son was my ninja baby. Even as nimble as he was he could not take off a backwards diaper, he could however, get out of his crib before he could crawl, and with adjusting things in his crib and moving it away from the wall, it was easier to take crib down and put him on a mattress on the floor.

He crawled over a gated stairwell, and fell down a flight of stairs when he was 10 months old, so I raised the gate a few inches off the floor, he then crawled under the gate and fell down the stairs. I went to the store and bought a tote, and put the gate on the tote across the stairwell. He was too short to climb on said tote.

He would buckle and unbuckle himself in the cart at the store.

We had to hook lock the front door because he could open that as soon as he could reach it.

He was riding a 2 wheeler, no training wheels when he was almost 4, and followed the bigger kids over a bike jump in the front yard. He scraped his face chin to forehead. The Christmas he was 4, he tried to cut open a present using his Dad's new knife, and layed open his thumb. I think I sounded somewhat possessed when I growled at DH at the time that he would be taking YS to the ER and explaining that he left his brand new, extremely sharp knife out for son to cut himself. YS came home with 4 stitches in his thumb.