Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

[twiggy]

DD is potty training and not doing particularly well, but she's enthusiastic about wearing panties instead of diapers. We were at McDonalds the other day when she informed me that she had poop on her dress. (not really, it was totally confined to her underwear) As I cleaned her up in the bathroom I had to face a terrible dilemma. I could either 1:just call it a loss and toss the dirty panties or 2:roll the dirty panties as small as possible, wrap them in copious amounts of toilet paper and put them in my pocket.

1 is gross to the poor employee who has to empty the trash. Also, it's expensive. DD refuses to wear non-licensed character underwear.
2 is gross to me. And it would have to go in my pocket because I have to carry Baby and hold the 2 big kids' hands.

As soon as I got home I threw my pants and her underwear into the wash and jumped into the shower.

Keep a handful of Ziploc bags with you. That way when you run into situations like that, you can just stuff the items into the bags and put the bags in your pocket.

Can I just say you're kind of a genius? I'm going to put some in with the back up underwear/clothes in the van right now.

[Mental Magpie]

I'm concerned that my first mental response to so many of these stories is "I never get the cool stuff".

The uncool stuff, on the other hand....last Saturday (my sleep in day) I had to get up earlier than I wanted, because, lying horizontally, I could feel blood oozing out from around the tampon.

So glad I already have a physical scheduled to go back on the pill.

I think the exact same thing!

[ladyknight1]

My son, influenced by teenage hormones has a giant gorch (large pimple in Klingon) on his neck. He has popped it three times, each time with a geyser of green puss.

[alkira6]

I'm concerned that my first mental response to so many of these stories is "I never get the cool stuff".

The uncool stuff, on the other hand....last Saturday (my sleep in day) I had to get up earlier than I wanted, because, lying horizontally, I could feel blood oozing out from around the tampon.

So glad I already have a physical scheduled to go back on the pill.

I think the exact same thing!

My IUD was the best thing EVER to happen to me in that area. After a year and a half I get maybe a couple of hours light spotting - completely opposite the gramps, projectile vomiting, clots the size of plums and other assorted lovelies.  I now need to find something to do with the stockpile of pads that I bought when I had coupons that made them practically free. I've already given a couple of cases to a women's shelter and some to the school nurse for student emergencies.

[Black Delphinium]

I'm concerned that my first mental response to so many of these stories is "I never get the cool stuff".

The uncool stuff, on the other hand....last Saturday (my sleep in day) I had to get up earlier than I wanted, because, lying horizontally, I could feel blood oozing out from around the tampon.

So glad I already have a physical scheduled to go back on the pill.

I think the exact same thing!

My IUD was the best thing EVER to happen to me in that area. After a year and a half I get maybe a couple of hours light spotting - completely opposite the gramps, projectile vomiting, clots the size of plums and other assorted lovelies.  I now need to find something to do with the stockpile of pads that I bought when I had coupons that made them practically free. I've already given a couple of cases to a women's shelter and some to the school nurse for student emergencies.

Local food bank maybe?

[ladyknight1]

I keep a stash of those items for guests, the pads and tampons work great in a first aid kit for large cuts, I also keep some stashed at work, just in case.

[violinp]

I was taking a big bag of trash out to the dumpster at work. I thought I had closed the bag. The Pepsi that went all over me said otherwise. It was so bad that it soaked through my shirt, camisole, AND BRA!  At least my manager had mercy on me and let me go home half an hour early. I scrubbed but good when I got home (since everything was still wet when I put in the washer, it all came out), but somehow managed to miss the ends of my hair, and woke up with sticky and stiff ends. Bleagh.

[Liliane]

Ack.

Did you know a mixture of half-rotten squash and zucchini, a week's worth of litter box scoopings and various food particles can sit in 85+ degree heat for a week without giving off a whiff of stink until it's disturbed?

Because that just happened, and when I took out the trash bag, it released all that odoriferous week's worth of ICK throughout my apartment, as well as dripping vegetable juice into the bottom of the can and requiring a good hard scrub.

Thank god for Febreeze, Pine-Sol and one of those freestanding air filter devices.

[Lady Snowdon]

I'm concerned that my first mental response to so many of these stories is "I never get the cool stuff".

The uncool stuff, on the other hand....last Saturday (my sleep in day) I had to get up earlier than I wanted, because, lying horizontally, I could feel blood oozing out from around the tampon.

So glad I already have a physical scheduled to go back on the pill.

So...having to sleep on my side for a week out of every month due to bleeding isn't normal?    I'm on the pill, and I still have all the assorted loveliness of clots the size of golf balls, incredibly heavy bleeding and cramps that won't quit.  I nearly decked my doc when I asked about these issues and was told "once you have kids, it'll probably get better". 

Back on topic - on Saturday, I was laying in bed with the dog laying next to me, head on my arm.  Went to move and realized that my arm and the dog's jowls are stuck together!  Peeled everything apart only to discover a 2 inch wide conglomeration of various dog body fluids and fur that was stuck to my arm - and was still moist!  Uck!  The dog was pretty offended when I threw it away; I think I was supposed to be grateful that he'd decided to gift me with his fur or something. 

[Elfmama]

I'm concerned that my first mental response to so many of these stories is "I never get the cool stuff".

The uncool stuff, on the other hand....last Saturday (my sleep in day) I had to get up earlier than I wanted, because, lying horizontally, I could feel blood oozing out from around the tampon.

So glad I already have a physical scheduled to go back on the pill.

So...having to sleep on my side for a week out of every month due to bleeding isn't normal?    I'm on the pill, and I still have all the assorted loveliness of clots the size of golf balls, incredibly heavy bleeding and cramps that won't quit.  I nearly decked my doc when I asked about these issues and was told "once you have kids, it'll probably get better". 

I had two kids.  Didn't help a bit.  A hysterectomy -- now THAT worked.   Shocked the gyn-surgeon that I'd been referred to.  She hesitantly told me that I needed one, and I said "Oh, good!  How soon can you do it?" Oddly enough, my mother and sister tell almost identical stories. 

Why are there so few doctors willing to do elective hysterectomies?  I can get boobs the size of watermelons and pounds of fat sucked off my butt and belly, but not get rid of a now-useless organ that causes me nothing but trouble?  There are plenty of women out there who KNOW that they don't want (more) kids.  Why should they go through the pain and mess and expense of monthly cycles?  Why do doctors think that we don't know our own minds? I had to fight tooth and nail just to get a stinkin' tubal ligation at 27, because the doctor thought I'd just want it reversed in a year or two!

[Twik]

Why are there so few doctors willing to do elective hysterectomies?  I can get boobs the size of watermelons and pounds of fat sucked off my butt and belly, but not get rid of a now-useless organ that causes me nothing but trouble? 

I don't know. When I was having my menopausal bleeding issues, I came across an article by a well-respected (but male) gynecologist, who was arguing that doctors needed to work harder to persuade women patients that constant pain and bleeding was, in his words, "acceptable," as opposed to a hysterectomy. I just wonder if he was suffering from constant abdominal pain and bleeding from  a lower orifice if he'd find it quite as acceptable, or if he would be grabbing his nearest surgeon colleague and demanding "DO SOMETHING! NOW!!!!!"

[Elfmama]

Why are there so few doctors willing to do elective hysterectomies?  I can get boobs the size of watermelons and pounds of fat sucked off my butt and belly, but not get rid of a now-useless organ that causes me nothing but trouble? 

I don't know. When I was having my menopausal bleeding issues, I came across an article by a well-respected (but male) gynecologist, who was arguing that doctors needed to work harder to persuade women patients that constant pain and bleeding was, in his words, "acceptable," as opposed to a hysterectomy. I just wonder if he was suffering from constant abdominal pain and bleeding from  a lower orifice if he'd find it quite as acceptable, or if he would be grabbing his nearest surgeon colleague and demanding "DO SOMETHING! NOW!!!!!"

DH once asked what those kind of cramps were like.  "It can't hurt that bad!" (This in spite of seeing me pass out from the pain at least once. ) To the gentlemen who are reading and wondering: have you ever been in a position where you had a full bladder?  OK, full to the point of pain?  Been in a situation where you had a bladder full to the point of pain but for one reason or another could not relieve yourself, and it just went on and on and on?  Now, take that bladder full to the point of extreme pain, and imagine that you've just been kicked in the pit of the belly by Chuck Norris.  THAT is what it feels like.

And along those lines, if the screening for testicular cancer involved taking a gentleman's dangly bits and squashing them between two glass plates until they're only about a quarter-inch thick, then telling him "don't move!" while the xray is taken, how long do you think it would take before a better way of imaging them came along?  

[RebeccainGA]

Discovered what the horrible smell in my kitchen was, finally - we came home after a weekend away, leaving the thermostat on 80, to discover something in the kitchen smelled bad. Couldn't find it - wasn't the trash can, wasn't anything in the sink, even ran hot water and extra detergent down the sink in case something was caught in the drains. Nothing. Until I realized that under the pile of empty grocery bags was a TOMATO. Oh, my, lord. I've found a stray potato that's escaped under something until it rotted before, and let me tell you, NOTHING smells worse that rotten tomato. Especially when it's leaked and there's rotten tomato juice all over the counter, under plastic bags. Wow.

Thirty minutes of scrubbing and a whole bag full of nasty paper towels and antibacterial wipes, and my kitchen is fit for humans again.

[alkira6]

Discovered what the horrible smell in my kitchen was, finally - we came home after a weekend away, leaving the thermostat on 80, to discover something in the kitchen smelled bad. Couldn't find it - wasn't the trash can, wasn't anything in the sink, even ran hot water and extra detergent down the sink in case something was caught in the drains. Nothing. Until I realized that under the pile of empty grocery bags was a TOMATO. Oh, my, lord. I've found a stray potato that's escaped under something until it rotted before, and let me tell you, NOTHING smells worse that rotten tomato. Especially when it's leaked and there's rotten tomato juice all over the counter, under plastic bags. Wow.

Thirty minutes of scrubbing and a whole bag full of nasty paper towels and antibacterial wipes, and my kitchen is fit for humans again.

Ha! Try having half a bag of potatoes get wedged behind the fridge and stay there until they turn to a fetid semi liquid soup. Good times.

[Diane AKA Traska]

I have it on good authority that watermelon turns daemonic when it rots.