Author Topic: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart  (Read 801992 times)

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Midnight Kitty

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4455 on: November 08, 2013, 01:53:19 PM »
Many years ago, I dated a guy who said he was going to resume chewing tobacco after he got married.  He just quit during courtship because it turned so many women off.

I wasn't planning on marrying him anyway, but even if I had been, knowing that he would resume chewing tobacco was enough to convince me not to marry him.
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Marcus Aurelius

Mel the Redcap

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4456 on: November 10, 2013, 08:18:51 PM »
I have a HORRENDOUS cold. Coughing, sneezing, simultaneously clogged and runny nose with mucus that's tinged a lovely shade of fluorescent yellow, sinus headache, etcetera and so forth. I was planning to take today off work anyway, but my long weekend has been a lot less fun than planned! *grump* >:(

It's raining, which is good, because we need it and it gives me an opportunity to put liquid fertiliser on some young plants in the garden without risking burning them by mixing it up too strong. So I toddled outside (sneezing) with my little watering can full of diluted seaweed gunk, bent over to sprinkle… and my sinuses drained, all at once. There was this FLOOD of what seemed like a cupful of pale yellow-brown GOO that just poured out of my nose! Eeeeeeurgh! :o

On the plus side, I can breathe now. :P
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snowfire

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4457 on: November 10, 2013, 08:56:48 PM »
^^^ I believe Shrek said "Better out than in."  >:D ;D >:D

Hope you feel better soon!

Doll Fiend

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4458 on: November 10, 2013, 09:20:41 PM »
More weird than gross for me.

I suffer from sever swelling. From toes to torso I gain water weight that fluctuates day by day, even hour by hour. Well I got poked in the leg by my cat right in the calf. The calf that is normally 12" around and is currently 19" around. It bled a little, not even enough to warrant a bandage. Then it started to leak. Clear liquid, very much like water, started to leak out of the tiny boo boo. Has been for over a day. Weirdest thing ever for me. I feel like a maple tree and wish I could add on a spigot and get rid of the rest of this water retention!

siamesecat2965

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4459 on: November 12, 2013, 03:55:02 PM »
I was driving down the road yesterday and the tiny car next to me had a LARGE St. Bernard dog riding shotgun in the front seat.  He was sticking his head out the window and as they drove his jowls were flapping in the wind.  Not gross yet, you say? The window just behind the dog was covered with large quantities of dog drool which flew from his mouth as they were driving.

Not exactly high on the gross scale, but could have been less than pleasant if you were behind them, especially on a motorcycle.

Hahaha - I had a mastiff, who used to ride in the back, with her head hanging over the back of the backseat. Which was vinyl. Mastiffs slobber. so the whole back of the seat was COVERED in dog drool. Nasty.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4460 on: November 12, 2013, 04:45:24 PM »
...it gives me an opportunity to put liquid fertiliser on some young plants in the garden without risking burning them by mixing it up too strong. So I toddled outside (sneezing) with my little watering can full of diluted seaweed gunk, bent over to sprinkle… and my sinuses drained, all at once. There was this FLOOD of what seemed like a cupful of pale yellow-brown GOO that just poured out of my nose! Eeeeeeurgh! :o

See? You DID use liquid fertilizer!
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twiggy

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4461 on: November 12, 2013, 05:10:05 PM »
Most of my contributions to this thread are bodily fluid related, and today is no exception. 2.5yo DD is currently potty training, and she's also a little bit brilliant. She gets hugs, cheers and high fives for every successful attempt. If she manages to stay dry until naptime, or between nap and bed time, she gets a sticker as well. She LOVES stickers.

So, what is a brilliant, sticker obsessed child to do when she has an accident right before nap time? Well, those big machines Mommy puts dirty clothes into are in the hall closet right outside her bedroom. Why wouldn't a brilliant, sticker obsessed child simply throw her dirty clothes into that big machine and change into clean clothes? Mommy has been conditioned to accept that said brilliant child will change her clothing approximately 75,000 times per day. So that won't raise any suspicion. It's a perfect plan.

The problem is our washer is a top loader. The front loader, that DD can open, is actually the clothes dryer. DD also managed to turn the dryer on.

The bigger problem is that the dryer was full of otherwise clean clothes and DD has a history of playing with the dryer. So I heard it running and came to take the clothes out to fold them. I reached in to grab a whole armload of what I thought were clean clothes, and instead ended up with an handful of nastiness. Warm nastiness. Fragrant, aromatic nastiness.

The biggest problem is that I try to grab the whole load of laundry in one big arm load to avoid making 2 trips to empty the dryer. So by the time my brain made the necessary connections I was hugging a urine soaked dress to my upper chest/neck region.
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

jayhawk

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4462 on: November 12, 2013, 05:38:02 PM »
Most of my contributions to this thread are bodily fluid related, and today is no exception. 2.5yo DD is currently potty training, and she's also a little bit brilliant. She gets hugs, cheers and high fives for every successful attempt. If she manages to stay dry until naptime, or between nap and bed time, she gets a sticker as well. She LOVES stickers.

So, what is a brilliant, sticker obsessed child to do when she has an accident right before nap time? Well, those big machines Mommy puts dirty clothes into are in the hall closet right outside her bedroom. Why wouldn't a brilliant, sticker obsessed child simply throw her dirty clothes into that big machine and change into clean clothes? Mommy has been conditioned to accept that said brilliant child will change her clothing approximately 75,000 times per day. So that won't raise any suspicion. It's a perfect plan.

The problem is our washer is a top loader. The front loader, that DD can open, is actually the clothes dryer. DD also managed to turn the dryer on.

The bigger problem is that the dryer was full of otherwise clean clothes and DD has a history of playing with the dryer. So I heard it running and came to take the clothes out to fold them. I reached in to grab a whole armload of what I thought were clean clothes, and instead ended up with an handful of nastiness. Warm nastiness. Fragrant, aromatic nastiness.

The biggest problem is that I try to grab the whole load of laundry in one big arm load to avoid making 2 trips to empty the dryer. So by the time my brain made the necessary connections I was hugging a urine soaked dress to my upper chest/neck region.

Please promise that you'll put that story in her baby book!

Mental Magpie

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4463 on: November 13, 2013, 08:50:38 AM »
Since we're talking about being peed on...I can't believe I forgot to post this.

About maybe 2-3 weeks into dating Boyfriend, I arrived at his house to make dinner.  The 6 year old was already fast asleep in the living room and had been, according to him for about 4-5 hours.  At this point, I had only met her twice.  When it was time for dinner, he scooped her up and took her to bed, not thinking to wake her long enough for her to go potty.  You only think you know where this is going...

We finish dinner, go to bed, and I'm woken at about 2AM (so 10 hours of not having gone potty) by the sound of a little voice calling my name from about 2 feet away.  I ask her what's wrong and she says she had a nightmare, all the while looking up at me without those beautiful wide eyes.  I scooted back a little and she climbed up into bed, snuggling into me as I wrapped my arm around her and told her it would be OK.  Little did I know in just a few hours I would wake up covered in her pee.

Boyfriend said my reaction was how he knew I was a keeper...
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Thipu1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4464 on: November 13, 2013, 11:23:29 AM »
This one isn't as gross as many posts here but it's still pretty yucky.

In the 1950s stores weren't open at all hours.  Many were closed on Sundays.  Also, 'O-Mat' was a fashionable term. 

Someone had the idea to invent the 'Milk-O-Mat'.  This was a refrigerated vending machine placed outside stores.  At any hour, people could drive up and get a quart of cold milk. 

The fad only lasted a year or two but one local business found an ingenious use for the old Milk-O-Mat.  It was located on  a road that led to a series of lakes with beaches and good fishing.  The shop made sandwiches, sold beach things and fishing tackle.  It made sense for them to turn the Milk-
O-Mat into a bait machine.  They took the milk containers and refilled them with soil and earthworms.
This seemed like a good idea because fishermen often were heading for the lakes before the shop opened.

They forgot about one thing.

Often, after a day of fun in the sun and a beach barbecue with plenty of beer, fishermen were not in the best of shape. Driving home in the dark, the idea of a cold swig of milk was appealing.

I don't think I need to say what happened. 

« Last Edit: November 13, 2013, 11:25:36 AM by Thipu1 »

Nikko-chan

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4465 on: November 13, 2013, 12:18:03 PM »
*turns green* Ew....

Thipu1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4466 on: November 17, 2013, 11:55:25 AM »
Just posting because I don't want to think that I killed this venerable thread. 

Reika

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4467 on: November 17, 2013, 04:00:52 PM »
Beano couldn't compete with the combination of the cold meds and volume of orange juice I've been sucking down. On the plus side, neither can the cold.

snowfire

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4468 on: November 17, 2013, 06:55:46 PM »


'Nuff said....

Mental Magpie

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #4469 on: November 17, 2013, 06:56:53 PM »


'Nuff said....

Where is the like button?
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.