Okay, I think I might have finally worked up the courage to write this... and I still probabyly wouldn't, but I'm absolutely desperate to know if this ever happened to anybody else or if I just have the most screwed up body in the universe.
A few years ago, a co-worker invited me and two other people from my office to his house for Raclette.
This happened to be how I found out that my body can't process Raclette cheese. At all.
I was in agony half an hour after we had started eating, battling unbelievably painful abdominal cramps and a lot of shame at the same time, trying my best to hide my condition from my co-workers. I was just about to decide if I should chance stinking up my co-worker's bathroom or if it was better to run outside and try to make it home (I was about an hour and a half away from my apartment).
How do I put this.
Well, see, one of the cramps had, um, what you might call... a "happy ending".
It was the most humiliating moment of my entire life, I was so sure the person who had been talking to me when it happened must have seen it on my face.
I excused myself very quickly after that.
The cramps on the way home were nothing in comparison to the shame.
...I'm utterly alone in this, aren't I?