This could probably also go in "Dear Cat", but I am sufficiently disgusted to put it here.
I have one cat who refuses to touch any sort of hairball remedy, and I have one cat who refuses to actually chew (insofar as cats chew) her food. This has resulted in two episodes of ick.
Hairball cat has been working on getting rid of a ginormous hairball for over a month now. It finally came up yesterday. All over the freshly washed cat bed. And
it was a sticky, gooey one, so it clung to her chin and she had to shake her head rapidly to get it off her. Hairball EVERYWHERE. Promptly followed by a good five minutes of horking up brown goo that smelled like death and refused to come out of the carpet without scrubbing.
Food vacuum cat has a habit of eating so fast it makes everything come right back up. But apparently her usual hork antics were not satisfying enough this time, because she sat there and yodeled three times before starting to heave, and then decided she was going to run backwards while heaving so there was a four foot long string of undigested cat food barf in my hallway. And then she horked AGAIN right in front of the kitchen and left a remarkably large pile considering how much she'd just expelled not even ten seconds prior.
I would be so very, very happy if someone would invent a paper towel that prevents one from feeling the warm squish of fresh cat barf while trying to pick it up.