So - I came down with what I assume was food poisoning, possibly complicated by stress, Wednesday night. I had the vomiting and number 3. Whilst I was sitting on the toilet, trying to keep myself from completely falling apart, I started feeling like I was going to retch again. I looked around for something to throw up into, but there was nothing I could see. So I aimed myself at the bathtub beside me.
I did indeed begin to retch, with a passion and quality that, although it wasn't overly productive (the previous six bouts had taken care of that), my entire body was spasming. I couldn't keep myself on the toilet, and I helplessly slid onto the floor in front of it.
Then, and only then, did fire-hose butt kick in - and I couldn't move because I was still retching. I had somehow managed to keep my bathrobe on, and as I'd moved/slid/fallen, it had tucked itself underneath me, and was trapping everything next to my skin.
Eventually, all was quiet again. My husband came to rescue me, and he hosed down the bathtub and told me to shower off while he cleaned everything out of my bathrobe and put it through the washer. Then he washed down the floor with a bleach solution.
Then he made sure there was a pail right beside the toilet, just in case. And it was necessary.