Author Topic: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart  (Read 768314 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Elfmama

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6188
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5235 on: June 08, 2014, 10:26:08 PM »
I woke up with a terrible backache this morning.  I pulled out my heating pad thinking I slept weird or just pulled a muscle.   Apparently it was just a huge gas bubble.   The heating pad loosened everything up and the farting had been nonstop all day. The farting itself isn't bothering me, it's the smell.   Dear deity, it's like I ate dozens of rotten eggs, broccoli, sauerkraut, plus something crawled up and died in my intestines.

You know it's bad when my DH and the cats leave flee the room. I have no idea what I ate that would have caused this,  but good gracious, it could be used as a chemical weapon. Unfortunately, I can't escape it.  GasX hasn't helped any either. :P
Well, put it to use then!  Rent a boat and hang over the stern, with your butt in the water.  Jet propulsion! ;)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

wonderfullyanonymous

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2601
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5236 on: June 09, 2014, 10:29:46 PM »
I woke up with a terrible backache this morning.  I pulled out my heating pad thinking I slept weird or just pulled a muscle.   Apparently it was just a huge gas bubble.   The heating pad loosened everything up and the farting had been nonstop all day. The farting itself isn't bothering me, it's the smell.   Dear deity, it's like I ate dozens of rotten eggs, broccoli, sauerkraut, plus something crawled up and died in my intestines.

You know it's bad when my DH and the cats leave flee the room. I have no idea what I ate that would have caused this,  but good gracious, it could be used as a chemical weapon. Unfortunately, I can't escape it.  GasX hasn't helped any either. :P
Well, put it to use then!  Rent a boat and hang over the stern, with your butt in the water.  Jet propulsion! ;)


If it's that toxic, then, you might want to put fishing on the list as well.

Reika

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3010
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5237 on: June 09, 2014, 10:32:56 PM »
Dazi, you have my sympathy because I've been going through that myself lately, but I know the reason why. I've been working out more, and apparently the one thing most exercise gurus tend to leave out is the fact that you tend to poo more.

And in my case, it's not just body waste being expelled as solid stuff. Oh no, this is stuff that should be coming out as a noxious green gas. Instead it's so much more insidious. It's clear, but not odorless.

I've been contemplating actually shelling out for the travel sized thing of poopurri for work...

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7769
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5238 on: June 10, 2014, 11:11:01 AM »
We saw a horse Saturday, lying on it's side. No respiration or ear/tail movements. I called the non-emergency number, but I'm still sad.  :(

Reika

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3010
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5239 on: June 10, 2014, 01:10:37 PM »
We saw a horse Saturday, lying on it's side. No respiration or ear/tail movements. I called the non-emergency number, but I'm still sad.  :(

*hugs*

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2558
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5240 on: June 10, 2014, 03:18:06 PM »
I now have flies in my backyard whose maggots can break down fresh dog poo in a matter of hours.  It's gross...but it's also pretty cool.

Tsaiko

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 206
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5241 on: June 11, 2014, 08:23:08 AM »
I have a cat who I affectionately refer to as my Old Lady. She's about 16, weighs a grand total of 6 lbs (which is an improvement since she was below that for a while), has stomach problems, and a hyperthyroid. Saturday I noticed her squatting to use the bathroom a lot but not being productive. She was also doing it outside the litter box, which normally she is too much of a lady to do. I figured she was constipated. Noticed she was producing some poop in the litter box, was still eating, but decided to keep an eye on her. As the days progressed, she seemed to be in more and more discomfort. Called the vet on Monday. Advised to wait, but bring her in on Tuesday if it didn't get better. Tuesday to the vet she went.

They checked her colon but didn't feel anything. Took an X-ray: nope. The vet decided to to a rectal exam. She knew instantly what the problem was.

"Her anal glands are full. I'll express them."

Oh my god the smell. My tiny cat produced about 3 tablespoons worth chocolate colored sludge from her butt sacs. I don't know if I'll be able to look at Nutella for the next month without some sort of gag reflex kicking in. No wonder she was straining. It's a wonder anything could pass with her anal glands that swollen!

On the bright side, kitty is doing much better.

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7769
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5242 on: June 11, 2014, 09:09:36 AM »
I'm glad she is better!

Pioneer

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 117
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5243 on: June 11, 2014, 04:37:51 PM »
Here goes:

Our family lived on an acreage.  Two of our mama farm cats had wee ones, so there were plenty of kittens to play with that winter.  I honestly did not know that cats would climb on top of the tires of a just-parked car to get closer to the warm engine.  Yes, I drove off and squished a young cat.  In the Spring.  When the snow would melt and refreeze.

We were almost successful at removing the entire cat's corpse -- all but the tail which remained encased in the icy gravel driveway.  That was pretty nasty to gaze at for several weeks.

It got worse when the weather warmed, and the littermates dislodged the tail and played with it for several more weeks!  We'd see a cat or two frolicking about with a fuzzy tail, only to see them dash off before we could confiscate their trophy.
"Try to live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip." -- Will Rogers

SpottedPony

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 108
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5244 on: June 11, 2014, 05:50:56 PM »
As shelter for my horses and strorage for their hay, I have a 24' x 36' pole barn.  The back part is partitioned off for hay storage, with a sliding door in the middle.  Last night my cousin came over to finish making repairs to the door.  I went out to help, and just inside the sliding door, I found the remains of a red fox.  It had been there for a while, was rather dried out and losing its hair.  My cousin thought it might have been kicked or stepped on by the horses and managed to crawl into the back of the barn before dieing.  However, it didn't appear to have any broken bones. but I didn't look that closely.  I got a shovel and removed it, and then scrapped that area out as well as I could.  This evening I checked the horses for bites on the legs and nose, even if its been a while, there would be signs of puncture wounds and infections.  No signs of any bite wounds on any of the three.  So I figure that this poor fox was trying to take shelter in the barn and then died of illness or injuries just as s/he got into the hay section of the barn. 

Spotted Pony

Ms_Cellany

  • The Queen of Squee
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5850
  • Big white goggie? No. Hasn't seen him.
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5245 on: June 11, 2014, 06:22:14 PM »
I have a cat who I affectionately refer to as my Old Lady. She's about 16, weighs a grand total of 6 lbs (which is an improvement since she was below that for a while), has stomach problems, and a hyperthyroid. Saturday I noticed her squatting to use the bathroom a lot but not being productive. She was also doing it outside the litter box, which normally she is too much of a lady to do. I figured she was constipated. Noticed she was producing some poop in the litter box, was still eating, but decided to keep an eye on her. As the days progressed, she seemed to be in more and more discomfort. Called the vet on Monday. Advised to wait, but bring her in on Tuesday if it didn't get better. Tuesday to the vet she went.

They checked her colon but didn't feel anything. Took an X-ray: nope. The vet decided to to a rectal exam. She knew instantly what the problem was.

"Her anal glands are full. I'll express them."

Oh my god the smell. My tiny cat produced about 3 tablespoons worth chocolate colored sludge from her butt sacs. I don't know if I'll be able to look at Nutella for the next month without some sort of gag reflex kicking in. No wonder she was straining. It's a wonder anything could pass with her anal glands that swollen!

On the bright side, kitty is doing much better.

Oh barf. You win.  :)
Using a chainsaw is as close as we come to having a lightsaber in this life.

diesel_darlin

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1084
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5246 on: June 12, 2014, 04:34:40 AM »
Beer, pizza, cottage cheese and hummus farts.  :'(

hermanne

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1628
  • Visualize whorled peas...
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5247 on: June 12, 2014, 06:27:07 PM »
The other day, DS (almost 5) was standing at the toilet to do #1, when he felt #2 coming. So he tried to stop it with his fingers.  ::)
Bad spellers of the world, UNTIE!




ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7769
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5248 on: June 12, 2014, 06:39:34 PM »
He needs to learn the sitting combo.

We found the source of the musty smell. The tomato looked fine from above, but ick.

Mental Magpie

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5472
  • ...for the dark side looks back.
Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #5249 on: June 12, 2014, 07:14:17 PM »
The other day, DS (almost 5) was standing at the toilet to do #1, when he felt #2 coming. So he tried to stop it with his fingers.  ::)

I really shouldn't laugh at that, but it's hilarious!  Of course, I'm not the one who had to clean up the mess...
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.