Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart

[Kimblee]

As my 15 yo DD found out last week...

What's worse than finding a dead mouse on your bedroom floor?

Finding half a mouse!

Thank you kitty cat! NOT!

Today I got a beautiful live snake.... its ina  tank in my room....

My cats are bizzarre, they bring me live snakes and dead liazrds, never mice.

[Kendo_Bunny]

For awhile I had a cat who decided she didn't like our other cats. She registered her disapproval by pissing on my bed. More than once, I rolled over to a puddle of cat piss. I gave her back, and apparently she never had that problem again.

Also, for a little while my sweetie lived with me. I was very sick with a tonsil infection and stomach bug, and he was just wonderful the whole time. However, we started kissing one night, and he squeezed me too tight... I literally tossed him off and sprinted to the bathroom to throw up. The angel actually tied my hair back for me and went to the kitchen to get me some cold ginger ale. A week later, I was feeling brave again, and so he started doing nice things to relax me. Again, I had to toss him to go puke. Luckily I managed not to puke on him both times, but I was heartily embarrassed just the same.

[Minmom3]

I have two.  One is probably my eldest daughter's gross out, one is mine from several years before that.

1)  We're trying to find a good beach, girls are being extremely picky.  We keep parking by side of highway and tromping to go look at 'that beach', or 'that beach', or 'this beach'.  We're in beachwear - flipflops, short shorts and tops.  DD starts screaming something fierce and hopping around, getting louder with each jump.  There was a dead (and open) mouse that she stepped on, and somehow, the mouse got caught between her foot and the strap of the flipflop, bouncing around as she screeched and leaped.  We, or course, mom and younger sisters, and laughing hysterically.  I had to pick her up to stop her long enough to get the shoe off and the mouse gone...

2)  Girls have stomach flue.  All night long.  I'm carrying DD#1 from bedroom to bathroom, hoping we're going to make it in time, when I feel that we are NOT, in fact, going to make it in time.  She has puked down my back, in my hair (long,a nd down to be waist), and it's sliding off my hair and onto the back of my leg, and dropping onto the carpet.  At 2 in the morning.  I am not pleased, and roust DH out of bed to "come help me, cuss it all to tarnation!".  "But I made them barf buckets".  "Yes, you did, but they're not using them...."

They puked all over the beds, each others pillows, the floor, me, the floor..........     I did laundry ALL the next day.  The whole house stunk. 

[hermanne]

When DD was a few months old, she spit up straight down my cleavage. 

[bigozzy]

I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd.....

[hermanne]

I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd.....

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW..........   

When we were teenagers, my brother ran over a fairly large garter snake with the lawn mower. He then held up what was left of it, just to gross me out. I can still picture his poo-eating grin....

[Kimblee]

I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd.....

Aww!

But you must remember, as bad as that day was for you, just think about the toad's point of veiw...

Toad: *mionding own buisness*
Lawn mower: *whirr*
Toad- *Beyond caring*

[bigozzy]

I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd.....

Aww!

But you must remember, as bad as that day was for you, just think about the toad's point of veiw...

Toad: *mionding own buisness*
Lawn mower: *whirr*
Toad- *Beyond caring*

Great. Now I have guilt.

[hermanne]

I can not stop thinking of lawn mowing when I was a boy in Queensland, Australia 35 yeras ago. It was not dog poo I hit in the long grass but one of the large cane toads that infested our area! Daaaddddddddd.....

Aww!

But you must remember, as bad as that day was for you, just think about the toad's point of veiw...

Toad: *mionding own buisness*
Lawn mower: *whirr*
Toad- *Beyond caring*

Great. Now I have guilt.

Thank you both for a great laugh! 

[Crazy Chicken Lady]

Unfortunately most of my gross stories involve ds-I hope that's not a sign of things to come

#1 Dh, dd, and I were watching tv one day while ds was playing on the floor with his stacking rings when dh noticed ds had something in his mouth.  I walked over to ds and saw that he was eating "chocolate". Upon closer inspection I noticed ds had opened his diaper on one side. I don't know if I was in denial but as I was putting two and two together-dh screams out "Oh my god-I think he's eating crap." Dd begins screaming which scares ds and he proceeds to pee.  I threw ds in the bathtub while dh cleaned up the floor and ran to the store to get more baby toothbrushes. I went through about four or five b/f I felt that ds's mouth was clean enough.

#2 Dd screamed for me one day from her bathroom telling me she needed more toilet paper. I went in and started looking in the closet for another roll. Since my back was to the door I didn't notice ds had toddled in behind me. I heard splashing and turned around to ask dd what she was doing.  To my horror dd had gotten off the toilet and ds was now gleefully splashing around in pee water.

#3 We had been shopping most of the morning when we decided to stop for lunch at a certain crowded Southwestern restaurant.  Ds had been acting cranky that morning so I figured maybe he was hungry(he wouldn't eat breakfast but he had been drinking a lot of milk that morning). He had no fever and was wanting to play with dd-just kind of moody so I didn't really think that he could be sick.  About 10 minutes after we ordered our food I lifted ds from his high chair since he was getting upset. Without warning, he puked all over the table, floor, me and a little bit on the chair across from us(unfortunately there was a man sitting in it). Due to the milk ds had been drinking all morning, it smelled up our entire section and several parties had to be moved. I took ds and dd out to the car while dh stayed behind to pay the bill and apologize to everyone.

[Miss Misery]

Once I had this HUGE cold sore/zit just above my upper lip. The thing just kept growing and growing and growing and it was starting to hurt. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and was determined to do something about it. I start squeezing and notice a little head had started to form. I squeeze a little more and....*splat* It was like Mt. St. Helens erupting. Pus splattered all over the bathroom mirror and was running down my chin. I had never seen anything like it my life. I never knew there could be that much disgusting crap in one zit! 

Thankfully it has never happened again. 

[Mercy_mile]

Yesterday, actually. DS was "napping" in his crib and has recently started taking off his diaper whenever he gets the chance. You know where this one is going...

I guess he decided to make me a sculpture for Mother's Day 

It was EVERYWHERE! He crammed poop inside the holes where the screws go in the crib, all over the slats, all over him...

::cries:: oh god... I'm so not looking forward to that part. Only 16 days to go ::cries again:: lol

[Harriet Jones]

::cries:: oh god... I'm so not looking forward to that part. Only 16 days to go ::cries again:: lol

They don't *all* do it.  None of mine ever did -- their favorite medium was diaper rash cream.  If yours starts doing it, remember duct tape is your friend (for the diaper, not the child  )

[shadowfox79]

When I was in high school, I suffered from extremely painful, heavy and irregular periods. I had tried to get the doctor to prescribe me the Pill, since I was having to take days off school and was worried about missing exams, but he refused on the grounds that it might give me migraines. (I'm now on the Pill, and it doesn't. It has also freed me from almost every problem I had with them, but I digress.)

Sitting in the main hall waiting for a mock A'Level paper to start, I was pleasantly surprised when the lad I had an insane crush on chose to sit next to me and start talking. We had a great conversation which was only halted by the invigilating teacher telling us to settle down and prepare to begin.

One hour into the exam -
G-LOP.

Oh great. I'm stuck in an exam, no pads or tampons with me as I was two weeks early, quite possibly leaking all over the seat, and the man of my dreams is sitting next to me. How the hell do I save this one?

Fortunately I was wearing black trousers. I spent the entire exam with my legs tightly crossed in the hope that nothing would get out, then managed to pull off an elaborate manoevre by way of sweeping my thigh across the seat as I stood up, thereby wiping up any mess. Either there wasn't any or it worked wonders, because the seat was clean - although I took pains to get up on the side nearest Hot Guy so as to block his view of it, just in case.

Cringe. From then on I wore a pad to every exam, whether I was due or not.

[Piyokochan]

We have an ant problem every summer. A few summers ago, it got so bad that you couldn't walk two feet without stepping on ants - usually we could just spray the ants and set up some ant traps and they'd go away. Not so that year (we ended up having to call an exterminator, because they'd go away for a couple of days, then come back again, and in greater numbers).

Anyway, one day I had brought a Coke back to my room and set it on my nightstand. I went to take a sip...and found my mouth and  tongue coated in horrible, pinching, painful things...ANTS!

They'd gotten onto my bedside table and crawled up into my glass of Coke. I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and spit the ants out as best I could. Ick!!

A similar thing happened to me. It was in the middle of the night, and I brought a can of coke into my room and left it on my bed table. I took a few sips, then went back to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night (still pretty groggy at the time), had a few more sips, then went back to sleep.

Woke up that morning, noticed a funny feeling. There were dead ants in my mouth. Luckily I didn't have the painful experience of the live ones... because the first time I drank from the can, it was ant-free. By the second time I drank, the ants had not only crawled inside the can, but also drowned and died inside the can. So I drank and swallowed about five mouthfuls of dead ants while I was half-asleep. Yecch.