One of my very best friends has a son my son's age (the two boys are good friends as well). We've all known each other for about 10 years. Her son has had emotional problems since he was little. My friend suspects that he has ADD and tendencies towards depression. With regard to the ADD, she's worked very hard for years to help keep his attention on the task at hand (sitting with him while he does his homework, etc.) with limited success. She's also very
involved in helping to keep him "emotionally stablized" when he starts getting negative about his life (he's threatened suicide a couple times already). She's had him in therapy off and on over the years and could probably pass the board exam for her psychiatric license herself given how she's immersed herself in learning all she can about his conditions.
Her husband, Jerry, (the boy's father) agrees that the boy likely suffers from ADD and depression but absolutely refuses to consider allowing him to be on medication. As a result, my friend is very, very concerned about how her son will cope a couple years from now when he heads off for college without her daily involvement/presence in keeping him focused and stable. I tend to think that she has just cause to be concerned.
During one of our recent conversations where she was, once again, outlining in detail all of her son's challenges with regard to the ADD/depression and her fears about him coping while in college, I suggested that she push the medication issue with her husband. I said that this would seem to be the ideal time to get him started on meds so that the dosage could be watched/adjusted as needed over the next couple years before he leaves for college. She replied that, "Jerry just won't allow it".
I replied that, "If I were in your shoes, this would be the hill to die on" (meaning, of course, that I would seriously push back against Jerry on this issue if he were my husband and the boy was my son given the possible consequences of not pushing the issue).
She sighed and then bean dipped me by asking what I was currently reading!
I recognized the technique right away and followed her lead, but seriously, I don't think someone can bring up a subject like this numerous times and not expect some uncomfortable feedback.