Author Topic: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it  (Read 13927 times)

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Rockie

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #45 on: October 08, 2009, 07:21:10 PM »
I took ballet for four years, but mom eventually pulled me out over my protests because according to her I wasn't improving.

I also wanted to do gymnastics (I'd love to be able to pull off those flips!) and judo, but was told no, it was too dangerous and in the case of judo that it was "only for boys"...yet she allowed me to take karate. Then again, she also liked to encourage me to do more "girly" activities like dance if I expressed how much I liked to do something like fencing or the aforementioned martial arts. ???
Did you take karate? (Maybe she didn't let you take judo because you'd be grappling with all those boys  ::)).

Yes I did, long enough to earn a black belt. :D And the funny thing is? We did some grappling there too (though probably not as much as you'd do in judo). And yes, I think that might've been the reason. ::) I also had the chance to take other forms of martial arts later, which kind of makes up for that, I suppose.

Nurvingiel

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #46 on: October 08, 2009, 07:29:45 PM »
I took ballet for four years, but mom eventually pulled me out over my protests because according to her I wasn't improving.

I also wanted to do gymnastics (I'd love to be able to pull off those flips!) and judo, but was told no, it was too dangerous and in the case of judo that it was "only for boys"...yet she allowed me to take karate. Then again, she also liked to encourage me to do more "girly" activities like dance if I expressed how much I liked to do something like fencing or the aforementioned martial arts. ???
Did you take karate? (Maybe she didn't let you take judo because you'd be grappling with all those boys  ::)).

Yes I did, long enough to earn a black belt. :D And the funny thing is? We did some grappling there too (though probably not as much as you'd do in judo). And yes, I think that might've been the reason. ::) I also had the chance to take other forms of martial arts later, which kind of makes up for that, I suppose.
That's great! Yeah, I was thinking about all the throws and stuff in karate. Maybe that's not why she didn't want you to take judo. Seems a bit silly to say that a martial art is "only for boys". ???
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kherbert05

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #47 on: October 18, 2009, 07:05:21 PM »
Just some observations. I teach G&T and Inclusion classes. One thing I tell my G&T kids is you are always getting 100's the first time we do something then we are wasting your time and my time. If you stay in your safe zone - you will never learn or achieve anything worth mentioning. Some of them find it very hard to do something if they can't do it perfect the 1st time.

I had a parent not want their in the inclusion tested because he was smart just not trying. He thought an LD diagnoses would be an excuse. I told him how freeing my diagnoses was. Before I thought there was no point in trying to improve my spelling and handwriting because everyone said I was being lazy. I knew there was a disconnect, but since I couldn't go from zero to 60 there was no point trying.

After the diagnoses there was a reason I had a problem - and solutions that had never been offered when I was "lazy". Now small improvements were ok - not proof I hadn't been trying. One night a sat down at the computer with a list of sight words - you know the words they make you memorize the spelling of in 1st and 2nd because they don't follow phonics rules. I typed them 20 times each - muscle memory kicked in and I got them after 13 years of trying in school (I was diagnosed freshman year of University) I learned to spell Their ball and Neighbor.

My parents would have ripped apart anyone who said what the woman said in the OP. I took dance, gymnastics, and other individual type classes.  Carefully research by my parents so that the schools/classes were for fun. They knew I had a coordination problem, so I had these no pressure classes and some PT. They even had me tested in elementary school - but I read on a HS level so I couldn't have an LD.
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Onyx_TKD

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #48 on: October 24, 2009, 11:31:07 AM »
I took ballet for four years, but mom eventually pulled me out over my protests because according to her I wasn't improving.

I also wanted to do gymnastics (I'd love to be able to pull off those flips!) and judo, but was told no, it was too dangerous and in the case of judo that it was "only for boys"...yet she allowed me to take karate. Then again, she also liked to encourage me to do more "girly" activities like dance if I expressed how much I liked to do something like fencing or the aforementioned martial arts. ???
Did you take karate? (Maybe she didn't let you take judo because you'd be grappling with all those boys  ::)).

Yes I did, long enough to earn a black belt. :D And the funny thing is? We did some grappling there too (though probably not as much as you'd do in judo). And yes, I think that might've been the reason. ::) I also had the chance to take other forms of martial arts later, which kind of makes up for that, I suppose.

Off Topic, in defense of Rockie's mother; post continues on topic afterwards.  ;)
I did Tae Kwon Do and also tried a few Judo classes (liked it, but didn't have time to do both). In TKD, we practiced throws a decent amount, but it was generally part of the self-defense part of the class (i.e. not really classic/traditional Tae Kwon Do, just good techniques to know). Judo was a whole different story. As in "I just met these guys 15 min. ago, and now we're jumping over each other leap frog style/crawling between each others legs during the warm-up, followed by rolling around on the floor grappling with them for another hour or so." One of the fighting positions we used a lot during those few classes involved one fighter (on their back on the ground) holding the other off by wrapping both legs snugly around the other fighters waist; many techniques also involved grabbing the lapels/collar of the opponent's uniform/shirt (chest/breast area) and using them as a point to pull on or hold the opponent.

Like I said, it was really fun, but even as a college student who was already used to getting "up close and personal" with my martial arts classmates, it felt a little awkward at first. I can see how a mother (or father) could be understandably leery of her daughter practicing judo with a class full of boys, especially if she wasn't really certain that her daughter would be assertive about cutting off any inappropriate contact. Judo practice kind of blurs the line of what is "appropriate touching," which might make it harder for a kid to know when to object. I was an adult when I tried it; if any of the guys had made inappropriate comments/tried to grope me/etc., I would have had no problem telling him off, refusing to practice with him again, telling the instructor, or whatever other action was needed. A kid might not be that assertive.

That said, it still doesn't make judo "only for boys." Nor am I arguing that girls shouldn't join judo classes with boys, just that there might be some justifiable parental worries.

Back on Topic:
One of my university friends started a small bellydance club, and I later continued taking it in an official class. Based on my experience and seeing the other students, bellydance is one of those activities where almost everyone is going to feel like they stink at it at first. You get asked to isolate and exercise muscles you didn't even know you had, and once you get enough of the moves down, you start layering them (doing different moves at the same time), at which point even the moves you could do well start falling apart again. If everyone dropped out when the didn't think they were dancing well, I bet there would be very, very few bellydancers.

One of the students in our first little bellydance group was the instructor for the judo club. An older, stocky, muscular man who practiced with us in his judo uniform (complete with black belt). Was he naturally brilliant at bellydance? No, but he stuck with us until our teacher moved away and the club ended. The rest of us loved having him in the class. There's something incredibly sweet about seeing this tough martial arts instructor in his gi and black belt very intently watching himself in the mirror as he tries to make his hips move the right way. Especially since he was so obviously having fun. Sadly, he didn't try to join the official bellydance class that got started, because "the other [young, female] students might get the wrong idea."

Sharnita

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #49 on: November 15, 2009, 04:53:31 PM »
This makes me laugh.  My mom had a son and 3 girls.  I am the oldest and my sisters are 6 and 8 years younger than me.  I was in ballet when I was about 5.  My mom didn't keep me in it after that.  Years later when I was about 20 we were talking about my sister being in ballet (and other dance).  I asked why my mom talk me out.  She explained that I hadn't been very good at it and that I didn't practice.  I was stunned.  A few months later we went to see my sister's recital and, of course, saw the little kids perform.  It was like an epiphany!  Afterwards she said to me "None of them were very good! They all danced just like you used to."  I think the problem was that there was a child who was very good in my class and even at age 5 she stood out.  her mom told my mom that she practiced all the time.  Somehow my mom assumed that was the norm for 5 year olds in ballet.

Nurvingiel

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #50 on: November 15, 2009, 05:21:07 PM »
Maybe she thought you didn't like it since you didn't practice?

This is from someone who hardly practiced the piano, so I'm not judging. :)
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blue2000

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #51 on: November 16, 2009, 01:46:43 PM »
My mother complained that I didn't practice. It seemed to take a lot of effort to for me to 'get' the music. She thought I wasn't trying hard enough.

Turns out I'm musically dyslexic. I CAN play the piano, but only by ear, not by sight. Go figure. And if I had listened to Mother, I'd have quit back then, and wouldn't have the pleasure of playing and writing my own music.

I say let the kids do it if they want. That clunker in the dance group may grow up to be the adult dancing around the house with their baby and having a blast.
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whiterose

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #52 on: November 16, 2009, 03:35:47 PM »
My mother complained that I didn't practice. It seemed to take a lot of effort to for me to 'get' the music. She thought I wasn't trying hard enough.

Turns out I'm musically dyslexic. I CAN play the piano, but only by ear, not by sight. Go figure. And if I had listened to Mother, I'd have quit back then, and wouldn't have the pleasure of playing and writing my own music.

I say let the kids do it if they want. That clunker in the dance group may grow up to be the adult dancing around the house with their baby and having a blast.

The person I went out yesterday may have been musically dyslexic as well. He tried playing various instruments, but he said he lack the intuitive ability to read the music/get the notes. I had never heard about this till he told me- but now I have ran across a second person.

That's all right. I completely and totally lack the ability to manage behavior. Discipline just does not come naturally to me. And sadly, people notice that some "logical" or "common sense" things are not my strength either- and let me know in a not nice at all way.
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Switcher

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #53 on: November 16, 2009, 06:43:37 PM »
Very few kids start out with natural talents in any area. They LEARN skills by doing them. I really doubt that broadway dancers came out of the womb doing pirouettes.

LyanneB1

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #54 on: November 17, 2009, 01:48:45 AM »
This makes me laugh.  My mom had a son and 3 girls.  I am the oldest and my sisters are 6 and 8 years younger than me.  I was in ballet when I was about 5.  My mom didn't keep me in it after that.  Years later when I was about 20 we were talking about my sister being in ballet (and other dance).  I asked why my mom talk me out.  She explained that I hadn't been very good at it and that I didn't practice.  I was stunned.  A few months later we went to see my sister's recital and, of course, saw the little kids perform.  It was like an epiphany!  Afterwards she said to me "None of them were very good! They all danced just like you used to."  I think the problem was that there was a child who was very good in my class and even at age 5 she stood out.  her mom told my mom that she practiced all the time.  Somehow my mom assumed that was the norm for 5 year olds in ballet.

I bet her mom made her practice.  Sharnita, that's so sad, and it's the sort of thing the mum I was talking to in the original post would advocate doing.   :(

Sharnita

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Re: Children should only do ballet if they're good at it
« Reply #55 on: November 18, 2009, 04:33:52 PM »
It makes me laugh now.  I don't think mom really realized how funny/silly/bad most little kids look trying to dance at that age.  I was pretty bad - we found out a few years ago that I and two of my siblings have a medical condition that can make coordination and motor skills very difficult.  My attempts at ballet were funny but my attempts at making lay-ups in basketball were both funny and pathetic.