Author Topic: lewd quiz on facebook  (Read 3941 times)

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Fluffy Cat

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2009, 05:09:52 PM »

I don't think this was unintentional. Quizzes I've taken are pretty up front about making you click a button to post the result on your wall (and therefore the news feed) and she had also posted a comment about her results. And this picture went waaay beyond your standard racy page 3 type image. True, if it was someone who was more of a friend in real life, I would have called her and asked her what she was thinking... but since this was a former high school friend whose status updates I had already been hiding for other reasons--who I had had no contact with until FB for 8 years -- unfriending seemed appropriate.

still wondering why anyone would want to share that with all their FB friends though.

As other PP's have said, while defriending her wasn't rude, it was perhaps not the wisest or most diplomatic course of action.  Its quite easy to hide your friend or specific posts/quizzes/apps from your feed.  I know there is some difference of opinion on what is appropriate to post on your own facebook page.  Personally, I have all sorts of things on mine that others may find controversial or unappealing and I would be a little miffed if someone called me out on any of it.  Conversely, I never trouble myself with things that I find controversial or unappealing on others' pages.  If I don't like it, I just hide it.  The line I don't cross is that I never post anything on someone else's wall if there is the slightest chance that they won't want it there.

For instance, my brother and I are huge Badger supporters and we often place pro-Badger links on our own pages.  Because we feel the same way, we often post pro-Badger links on each other's pages.  However, I have friends who are huge Fox supporters and I never post my pro-Badger views on their wall.  I see their pro-Fox stuff on my newsfeed and vice versa - which is no big deal.  I can just hide it if I don't want to see it.
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qestia

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2009, 06:07:33 PM »
OP again--this wasn't just a question of personal opinions on my part--it was also a concern about viewing this kind of content on my work computer. I can't risk having it come up again. Of course it could be argued I shouldn't be on FB on work... but it I wanted to check it on my lunch hour, I would like to feel I could without crossing a line... and I am a member of a professional group on FB.

and yes, to reiterate, if this had been someone I had spoken to in person in the past decade or had any other social ties to I probably would not have taken such an extreme action. But while we were close in high school, (15 years ago) we haven't been since, don't have any current friends in common, live thousands of miles away from each other, my parents moved so I never even return to our formerly shared hometown, and I actually don't keep in touch except through FB with anyone else from HS either.

Fluffy Cat

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #17 on: October 08, 2009, 06:26:50 PM »
OP again--this wasn't just a question of personal opinions on my part--it was also a concern about viewing this kind of content on my work computer. I can't risk having it come up again. Of course it could be argued I shouldn't be on FB on work... but it I wanted to check it on my lunch hour, I would like to feel I could without crossing a line... and I am a member of a professional group on FB.

and yes, to reiterate, if this had been someone I had spoken to in person in the past decade or had any other social ties to I probably would not have taken such an extreme action. But while we were close in high school, (15 years ago) we haven't been since, don't have any current friends in common, live thousands of miles away from each other, my parents moved so I never even return to our formerly shared hometown, and I actually don't keep in touch except through FB with anyone else from HS either.


This (bolded) is the only arguably rude thing I've seen in this thread (and one I suspect we are almost all guilty of, myself included).  I don't believe she was rude to post the quiz to her own profile (again, there is some debate on this forum as to facebook etiquette) and you weren't rude to defriend her.  I'm just suggesting that you might want to think twice in the future about taking that action with different friends (say a closer one, family, etc.).  That is all.
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Nurvingiel

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #18 on: October 08, 2009, 06:28:02 PM »
What's wrong with checking FB on your lunch hour? ???

(Not that I have a lunch hour, but you know, hypothetically.)
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Fluffy Cat

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #19 on: October 08, 2009, 06:31:13 PM »
What's wrong with checking FB on your lunch hour? ???

(Not that I have a lunch hour, but you know, hypothetically.)

Because its a work computer.  There isn't anything wrong with using your personal computer during lunch.  And again, I've done this too.  >:D
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Nurvingiel

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #20 on: October 08, 2009, 06:33:25 PM »
What's wrong with checking FB on your lunch hour? ???

(Not that I have a lunch hour, but you know, hypothetically.)

Because its a work computer.  There isn't anything wrong with using your personal computer during lunch.  And again, I've done this too.  >:D
Personally I don't have a problem using the company's computer to browse the internet (on your lunch), because you're not wearing it out or using up a finite item. As long as one follows the company's guidelines around internet and computer use I don't have a problem.
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ACBNYC

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #21 on: October 08, 2009, 06:34:15 PM »
You'd already hidden her status updates, presumably for a reason, then you purposely clicked to see what had been hidden and you're offended?  ??? It sounds like this was someone you didn't want to be "friends" with anyway, so the defriending isn't a big deal, in my opinion.

Since you are worried about what is popping up at work, stay off of Facebook. You can't control your newsfeed since it's other people's content. The other alternative it to hide everyone you can't trust to stay clean, but even then, it's a risk.

Fluffy Cat

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #22 on: October 08, 2009, 06:35:38 PM »

Personally I don't have a problem using the company's computer to browse the internet (on your lunch), because you're not wearing it out or using up a finite item. As long as one follows the company's guidelines around internet and computer use I don't have a problem.

I don't care either, and I used to own a company with employees.  But there are a variety of reasons - specifically viruses - as to why a company would frown on it.  Again, I don't really care personally, just answering your hypothetical question.  ;)
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Nurvingiel

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #23 on: October 08, 2009, 06:37:22 PM »
Jokiebird makes a good point as well. It does seem like you didn't really want to be friends anyway, or that you were but drifted apart. Defriending her is fine.

I mentioned quiz blocking/hiding for future instances when you do want to stay friends, but don't want to see the quiz.


Personally I don't have a problem using the company's computer to browse the internet (on your lunch), because you're not wearing it out or using up a finite item. As long as one follows the company's guidelines around internet and computer use I don't have a problem.

I don't care either, and I used to own a company with employees.  But there are a variety of reasons - specifically viruses - as to why a company would frown on it.  Again, I don't really care personally, just answering your hypothetical question.  ;)
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TootsNYC

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #24 on: October 08, 2009, 11:27:59 PM »
I think you maybe acted too rashly.  I think this is more a case of people not realizing that every.little.thing gets posted in their friends' newsfeed.  I've seen some of the results of some of these lewd quizzes, and knowing the people who took them, I think they were VERY mortified to find out that everyone on their friends' list saw the results. 

I don't think this was unintentional. Quizzes I've taken are pretty up front about making you click a button to post the result on your wall (and therefore the news feed) and she had also posted a comment about her results. And this picture went waaay beyond your standard racy page 3 type image. True, if it was someone who was more of a friend in real life, I would have called her and asked her what she was thinking... but since this was a former high school friend whose status updates I had already been hiding for other reasons--who I had had no contact with until FB for 8 years -- unfriending seemed appropriate.

still wondering why anyone would want to share that with all their FB friends though.


Note that she wouldn't have been able to pick the photo, necessarily.

Poptart

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #25 on: October 09, 2009, 10:11:46 AM »
This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine with FB. They allow those quizzes with explicit pictures yet ban breast feeding pictures calling them lewd. *sigh*. I'd just hide the quizzes, I don't post results unless I think it's a riot, and I don't take any of the explicit quizzes.

TootsNYC

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #26 on: October 09, 2009, 10:17:14 AM »
OP again--this wasn't just a question of personal opinions on my part--it was also a concern about viewing this kind of content on my work computer. I can't risk having it come up again. Of course it could be argued I shouldn't be on FB on work... but it I wanted to check it on my lunch hour, I would like to feel I could without crossing a line... and I am a member of a professional group on FB.

and yes, to reiterate, if this had been someone I had spoken to in person in the past decade or had any other social ties to I probably would not have taken such an extreme action. But while we were close in high school, (15 years ago) we haven't been since, don't have any current friends in common, live thousands of miles away from each other, my parents moved so I never even return to our formerly shared hometown, and I actually don't keep in touch except through FB with anyone else from HS either.


Unfriending her may not be your safest action. If someone else takes that quiz, it'll pop up again.

You need to hide the quiz it itself.

And if it was truly lewd, feel free to alert Facebook.

twinkletoes

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Re: lewd quiz on facebook
« Reply #27 on: October 09, 2009, 10:40:55 AM »
I think you maybe acted too rashly.  I think this is more a case of people not realizing that every.little.thing gets posted in their friends' newsfeed.  I've seen some of the results of some of these lewd quizzes, and knowing the people who took them, I think they were VERY mortified to find out that everyone on their friends' list saw the results. 

I don't think this was unintentional. Quizzes I've taken are pretty up front about making you click a button to post the result on your wall (and therefore the news feed) and she had also posted a comment about her results. And this picture went waaay beyond your standard racy page 3 type image. True, if it was someone who was more of a friend in real life, I would have called her and asked her what she was thinking... but since this was a former high school friend whose status updates I had already been hiding for other reasons--who I had had no contact with until FB for 8 years -- unfriending seemed appropriate.

still wondering why anyone would want to share that with all their FB friends though.


Note that she wouldn't have been able to pick the photo, necessarily.

That's a really good point.

While I think the OP is free to friend or defriend who she wants, I think she was a bit hasty in her decision in this instance.
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