General Etiquette > Techno-quette
A new use for facebook?? FINAL UPDATE #22
JustEstelle:
A little b/g first: A minister friend of mine and DH "hired" DH to do some work for the church he pastors. DH sat down with him and negotiated a price that DH needs to be paid in order to do the work (yard work, etc). DH is currently on disability, but he sometimes does odd jobs for people to make a little extra cash. A couple of weeks ago, this minister asked DH to come and do the work that DH had done before. The job involved taking our riding mower over to do the mowing and hauling it in our truck. The truck was running on vapor, and we both had a week to go before either of us got paid. DH told the guy this and said he'd need help with some gas and made it clear that he could only do it if he would get paid that day. He was told, no problem, come on over, we'll help. The "help" consisted of giving DH a gallon or so of gas that the minister had in a can. And when it came time for DH to get paid (and we were counting heavily on this money), the guy had no cash on hand and hem-hawed around, borrowing a little from his son and saying he'd "owe" the rest. DH had to ask again a day or so later for the rest. He wound up with about half of what he and the guy had originally negotiated. DH was willing to let it go, for the sake of friendship. In respect of DH's wishes, I am keeping out of it because, honestly, if I get involved, I'm afraid the friendship will end. end b/g
As we're about to sit down to dinner tonight, the phone rang. We always check caller ID and only answer if it's someone we know. Otherwise, we listen to the message they leave before we talk to anyone. This call came in as "no data," so we let the machine pick up. It was the minister, wanting DH to call him back.
We sat down and ate. I happened to have my computer on and logged into my facebook account. I glance over as we're eating and see that this guy's wife has sent me a chat message to tell my DH to call her DH. Without even saying anything to my DH, I texted her back that he would call but he was busy at the moment.
The question that I have is, how do I tell this woman (or anyone, for that matter) that it's not okay to text me to make my husband call someone when he didn't pick up on a call that came in just MINUTES before? I really don't like being put on the spot like that, and I really don't like someone using my facebook that way.
Any suggestions, folks?
UPDATE: I sent the lady a private message stating pretty much what CluelessBride suggested. I also said that it's a good idea to leave a brief message indicating what he needed to talk to my DH about. I apologized to her if we came across as rude and said that we'd let the machine pick up as the call came in "no data" and that my husband chose not to pick up as we were having dinner.
SECOND UPDATE (and I'm still fuming about this): DH finally called the guy back, and it was no emergency. The man had somehow or other messed something up regarding either the house he is renting or his landlord's house (not sure which) and the landlord is out of town right now. He wants DH to come fix it. The man absolutely can tear up a crowbar. I don't know if he's offered to pay DH or not. DH more or less bean dipped him by telling him how much work there is to be done at home today, church tomorrow, and that he's helping out a friend who IS paying him on Monday. After he got off the phone, DH told me that he's tempted just to stall until the landlord asks DH for help because he knows the landlord will pay him. We also talked about how this whole situation has made me feel really uncomfortable and has me wondering about the value of the friendship under these conditions. While DH more or less agrees with me, he is the non-confrontational type who would rather let things ride than face them head-on. Meanwhile, I'm stewing over here and about to go mama bear on someone. I think I need to go way out in the country somewhere and just scream out my frustrations.
Nurvingiel:
She wrote this on your wall? That seems too much like calling you out, which I don't like. If she sent you a private message, I think that's totally appropriate. You can use the message just like a voice mail message, to return at your convenience.
Either way, you can deal with the message at your leisure. If you don't like getting called out on your wall, you can always delete the message. :)
MrsJWine:
I think it was appropriate, too, if it was in chat. Did you ever find out what the call was about? It's possible they wanted to tell you something like, "Hey, we'll be in the neighborhood in half an hour, but not for long. Will you be home? Can we drop off your payment?" I don't know why they didn't just tell you the nature of the call, but a lot of people neglect to do that, even with things that are time-sensitive.
JustEstelle:
Let me clarify: It was a chat message, only visible to me. It came just MINUTES after her husband left a voice message on our machine. DH already knew the guy wanted him to call, so I'm confused as to why he wanted me to have DH call him. I doubt it was to say he was coming over with payment in hand. Rather, I think it was wanting DH to do something for him. That's been the usual nature of calls from this guy.
I just really feel uncomfortable being put on the spot like that, especially after we've just gotten a message from the guy. He has DH's cell, as well as our home number. He's done this before - call and leave a message and then immediately get his wife to text me on facebook.
I guess I'm just bothered by the whole "telling the wife on DH" thing that's going on here. DH didn't pick up, the guy said he wanted DH to call him back, so he gets me to "make" him call. I feel like I'm being used, and I don't like that.
Nurvingiel:
I wouldn't worry about it, in that case. Maybe they're a little over-eager, but they owe you money, so they should be over-eager.
Respond to either message when you normally would anyway.
This is a normal use of Facebook. I send people "voice mail" time personal messages in place of calling sometimes. :)
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