At work, when I really need to get ahold of someone, I double-team them. Sometimes I triple team them. I usually call first. If I don't get an answer, I will send an e-mail (bcs sometimes they're on their Blackberry but not the phone; or bcs I can send extra detail in the e-mail, and the phone message simply says, "I need you urgently for XYZ, details are in the e-mail I sent). And the "triple" comes in when I walk over to their desk to ask their coworkers where they are.
But that's only for when I really need someone as soon as possible. All messages say, "I also [sent you an e-mail/left you a voicemail message] and this is important, and here's what and why.
What they did was just badgering, and it's rude.
How about "I'm really not comfortable playing receptionist for my husband over facebook, because there is no guarantee that I can do it in a timely fashion. You will have much more success if you or your husband contact him directly, so that you don't have to worry about me forgetting to pass along a message."
In my mind, if its urgent/an emergency, you should say so in the message. If its not, trying to get in touch with you to get to your husband after leaving him a message just seems off. Perhaps not rude or wrong, but just kind of like .
My mother's stance was, "I am not my husband's secretary; I will forget to tell him something, or get it wrong. If you want to talk to him, talk to him. And really, if you call, leave a message with some kind of detail."
I don't know and I may be wrong but I get the feeling that you are feeling that your dh is being used for his handyman services on a "on call" basis but not being paid appropriately for it...and that is the source of your iritation.
And I think you are correct to feel that way.
I think your dh should forget about beandipping and just tell his friend that although he likes to help him out he really can not continue because of the payment issues that have come up and his income or lack thereof from these jobs that friend wants him to do effects your household and he doesn't want this to affect their friendship so he's not going to be available in that capacity in the future.
This is such nice wording.
And I agree with all these points.
And we're not supposed to be quoting bible verses, but there's one that is popping to my mind. Grrrrr.