A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!

Dear Dog:

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Elfqueen13:
(I looked back in the archive and didn't see one already in existence, at least not that has been posted in recently.)

Dear Dog:

I understand that getting fixed was possibly the most traumatic experience of your short life.  I understand you were not a puppy when it was done, and that you were actually used to those bits being there.  But I have to tell you, dear dog, you cannot lick them back into place!  So quit trying.

Love,

Mommy

Lady Snowdon:
Dear Dog,

I love you quite a bit, and I especially love going out to play with you in the backyard.  That being said, I don't think it was necessary to spend 5 minutes last night chasing you around the tree as you tried to eat dead grass.  Think about it, dog.  That's just a silly, stupid thing to do.  Then again, most of the time you are a silly, stupid dog.  Also, we moved your bed into our room so that you would be more likely to sleep on your bed, not take over our bed.  Kindly stop thinking of our bed as yours, and stop making heartbreaking noises when we force you to lay on your bed.  I promise, it really is comfortable!

Love you,
Dogzard

ShieldMaiden:
Dear Pilsner,

Yes, I know it's shaped like a ball.  And yes, it's a very bright color orange just like some of your other playthings.  However, the pumpkin on our front porch is not your toy.  Please stop looking at me with sad puppy eyes while you sit by the window to stare forlornly at it.  You have millions of other toys just for you, please play with them (or at the very least, put them all back in their bin!).

Lovingly,
Your mummy

Shoo:
Dear Dog,
Stealing my breakfast was not the best way to start the day.  For either of us.

PeasNCues:
Dear Scotch:

yes that is a towel. A clean towel, in fact. Thank you for getting it for me, it's good to see that you have strong retrieval instincts. However, now that you've slobbered on it, it needs to be cleaned again.

It is not necessary for you to fetch clean clothes from the laundry room.

Thanks.
--PeasNCues

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