1) It's like a 1000 degrees outside. Learn to use a litter box.
2) Since you haven't learned to use a litter box, and I still have to go outside with you, please stop barking at the empty upstairs balcony. I do not know why it is evil today, but there's nobody there.
3) Yes, I know the upstairs neighbors are loud. I can hear them, too; I don't need your help. And yes, I know they have a dog. And that you don't like Sadie, which makes me sad, because I think she is probably very nice. And I really really don't need to know every single time they take Sadie outside. And I certainly don't need to be alerted by ear-drum shattering barks.
4) Some days, it is a really good thing you're cute.
Your slave Mommy