Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 67367 times)

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greencat

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #255 on: September 24, 2011, 07:53:17 PM »
Dear Rocky:
Thank you for waking me up in time for work, and making sure that I take out the trash and clean the litterboxes on a regular basis.  I think technically you may be misbehaving when you do these things, but I certainly appreciated the whining the morning that my alarm didn't go off!

BarensMom

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #256 on: September 25, 2011, 01:09:34 AM »
Oh, BTW, Baren, your third of the bed is horizontal to us, not vertical.  I know you and Daddy like your bonding time on the bed, but I need to lay down there too, so quit pushing me off.  Also, please stop sliming my pillow.

Seraphim

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #257 on: September 25, 2011, 01:46:20 AM »
Dear Bailie and Lucy,

You are both morons. There is no one in the front yard, at the door, or within 100 meters of our house.

Just because I opened the roller shutters on the front windows does not mean that something, anything, is out there to get you.

Can you please stop barreling past me barking your heads off. Bailie, I can kind of understand how you manage to knock me out of the way, after all you are a 40kg Lab. Lucy, you are a 4kg Silky terrier, how the ehell do you manage it?

Knock it off or I am locking you both outside.

No love,

The one who provides food.



kitkatswing

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #258 on: December 06, 2011, 05:59:04 PM »
Dear Maui,

I do love it when you sneak onto the bed underneath the doona.. BUT, I do not appreciate being woken up at 3am this morning with you barking/crying....

It was your own silly fault..

Your the one who got your head stuck as you tried to crawl out from under the doona and got itbetween the button openeings at the bottom... Dont blame me for laughing when I realised and had to turn the light on to unbutton you to freedom...

Yes I lov eyou but it WAS very funny and giving me death stares will cause me to laugh further..

Please dont do it again you dork..

Love,
Mum

jedikaiti

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #259 on: December 06, 2011, 07:13:23 PM »
Dear Pilsner:

I know the cat loves to tease you, but that does not mean you have to chase him every time. Especially not in a manner that makes the house shake and confuses the poor folks at the US Geological Survey.

Also, I know you love your Dad and that he was YOUR Dad first, but he has two hands. It really is entirely possible for him to pet both you AND a cat at the same time!

Jedi

PS - Just because one of the humans walked past the fridge does not mean you are entitled to, or will be receiving, a treat. Sorry.
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rashea

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #260 on: December 07, 2011, 08:36:36 AM »
Dear Banchee,

Yes, you are old. Yes, I know you've earn the privileges of old age. Those privileges do not include eating all of the curry, I still get some!
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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eclecticgrrl

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #261 on: December 08, 2011, 01:19:00 PM »
Elvis -

I have absolutely no idea what you thought you were doing last night, but I have to say that I *really* didn't appreciate you peeing on my dining room chair.  While we were sitting in the room next to you in full view.  Immediately after having come back in from a potty break.

Do it again and live forever in the crate.  This is your last warning!

Your Person's Girlfriend

BarensMom

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #262 on: December 08, 2011, 01:36:56 PM »
Poor Elvis.  Eclecticgrrl, didn't you see that the dining room chair was on fire??  He came along just in time to put it out. 

eclecticgrrl

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #263 on: December 08, 2011, 01:38:37 PM »
Ooooooohhhhh...  That explains why he was so miffed when I yelled at him.  Darn it.  Now I have to apologize to the fluffbrain.

MonteCristo

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #264 on: December 12, 2011, 09:53:56 AM »
Dear Sydney,

Mommy loves you very much, but if you don't stop nipping her you are going to be in serious trouble.  That kind of behavior is simply not tolerated in our family, and you are going to be spending a lot of time by yourself if you don't straighten up.  I've spent a small fortune on chew toys for you, so use those and leave Mommy's elbow alone!  And if you nip at Lyla or Alexei they are going to scratch you.  So just try and calm down.

Love,
Mommy

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #265 on: December 12, 2011, 08:06:45 PM »
Dear Jasper,

I love you dearly. Really, I do. But please, for Heaven sakes would you quit messing with the cat? She's having some issues right now and you growling at her every time she caterwauls or walks by you is grating on our nerves. Seriously stop! Please and thank you.

Your servant,

Nikko

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #266 on: December 13, 2011, 10:14:07 PM »
Dear Dog

They're fledglings, this is their first day out of the nest, why did you make their day so miserable (and their last)  :-[

The woman who feeds you.

Victoria

MonteCristo

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #267 on: December 14, 2011, 09:11:27 AM »
Dear Sydney,

I appreciate that you are constantly on the alert for predators, but dry leaves blowing across the yard hardly qualify.  And with our 7 giant oak trees, there isn't anything I can do to stop the leaves...so get a grip!  The leaves will not injure you in any way, it is perfectly save for you to go about your business normally.

Love,
Your frustrated Mommy

Mental Magpie

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #268 on: December 15, 2011, 12:57:14 AM »
Dear Skeletor,

I love you very much.  You were with me when my dad died and my ex was a jerk (you even chewed only on his stuff to make me feel better!).  You have the softest neck fur in the world and I love burying my face into it.  I can't wait to see you this weekend! ... but can you please stop putting your mouth on my wrist?  It's long sleeve weather now and I don't want slobber all over my shirts.  You can resume mouthing in the summer.  Oh, and if you lead Banshee off into the mountains again to disappear for 2 days, I won't spoon with you the entire time I'm there.

Love,
Your real mom

Dear Czar,

You've been around the longest.  We all love you very much but you are dumber than a box of rocks.  You are loyal and you learn quickly, but you're the stupidest Golden Retriever I've ever met.  I am excited to see you this weekend, too, but you don't need to lay on my lap 24/7.  There will be five other dogs to play with, even your best bud Skeletor, and three humans to lavish loves on you.  Oh, and if you lead Banshee off into the mountains again to disappear for 2 days, I will not be rubbing your belly at all.

Love,
Your human sister

Dear Miki,

Everyone loves your goofy face and your mismatched eyes.  It is not, cute, however, to constantly paw at people.  You have hard black claws and they hurt, especially when you've braced yourself against the wall and are pushing me out of bed with all four paws.  I love you, but stop it.

Love,
Your human aunt

Dear Colossus,

We are going on a very long road trip this weekend.  You will have four new dogs to play with, but remember not everybody likes you!  Remember how I tell you that when you stand up on the fence for everyone that passes by?  Well it's the truth.  Not everyone wants to rub your tummy or scratch your chest; deal with it.  If you're good, I may even let you sleep with me (because you know you're not allowed to at home).

Love,
Your mom

Dear Banshee,

We are going on a very long road trip this weekend.  You will have four new dogs to play with, so please don't be shy!  I am worried about you in the car because I know how sick you've gotten in the past.  However, you've seemed to have gotten better, but don't worry, mommy will have medicine on hand to help settle you.  Oh, if you disappear for 2 days in the mountains again, you will not be going anywhere ever again outside of our backyard and the vet's office.  You will in effect be grounded...but please tell mommy what happened while you were gone?  I'm dying to know.

Love,
Your mom

Dear Rza,

I haven't met you yet but your mom has told me all about you.  She says you can be intimidating but let it be known that no dog intimidates me.   I will be alpha and you will respect that immediately.  I do not take nonsense.  That being said, I am not above tummy rubs and snuggles!  You'll learn to love me, promise!

Love,
Your human aunt-to-be
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rashea

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #269 on: December 15, 2011, 08:48:07 AM »
Dear Banchee,

Yes, I know those treats were for you. That does not mean you need to find both bags of peanut butter cookies and rip them apart and eat all the treats. Can't you at least look slightly abashed when I come in, rather than calmly reaching in and eating another cookie?

Your Mom

P.S. This is why your Christmas present is all the way up on the shelf.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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