Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 88874 times)

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Valentines Mommy

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #285 on: December 16, 2011, 01:42:52 PM »
Dear Hogan,

You're scaring the neighbors. Cars are not evil monsters. Stop with the barking and fence charging or you'll lose yard privleges.

Dear Valentine,

Tracy is a baby and never had a family. Cut her some slack; she'll have a forever home soon.

Dear Saber,

I'm sorry. You're a good dog. Hogan, Val, and Tracy are a lot to handle. We'll take you to the Boneyard later.

Grape

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #286 on: December 16, 2011, 03:10:09 PM »
Dear Ziggy,

I know the sound of the stairwell door down the hall slamming is annoying. You deciding that OMGSOMEONEISATTACKING is more annoying.... especially since we've lived here two years. And the door sound has been heard multiple times per day during that time. And you bark every. single. time.  Honey, I know you aren't that bright, but please stop panicking.

Me

JolieFille

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #287 on: December 16, 2011, 11:46:15 PM »
Dear Daizey,

I know you want my attention, but putting your paw on my iPad is really kind of rude. You've made me loose my place in books and on eHell one too many times.

Also, laying in the hallway when it's dark, and not having the sense to move and then getting annoyed when I step on you, is not really healthy for any of us. I could've hurt you, y'know.

The world will not end if you don't get any of my jalapeno kettle chips. Stop breathing on me. Seriously.

Lacey,

There is NO need to growl anytime I get within a foot of you. It's annoying. There is also no reason to bite me when I want to pet Daizey.

There is also no reason to look sad when you get hip-checked out of the way, due to biting anyone not petting you. Daizey needs love just as much as you.

Luv, your human sister

MizB

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #288 on: December 19, 2011, 03:27:37 AM »
Dear Frances:

You made my heart melt. I love that you cuddle so much and I hope you get a forever home soon.

Love,
One of the Dog walkers.
‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’  attributed to Edmund Burke 1729-1797

kitkatswing

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #289 on: December 19, 2011, 11:48:13 PM »
Dear Maui,

I hope you learnt your lesson last night, you growl at me when I go to move you off the bed and you get locked in the bathroom.. No amount of barking will get you out until your "time out" is over..

That little stint earnt you NO bed privaledges that night, I am still  a little cross with you... But I did smile when I went to pat you and you rolled over for bnelly sctritches....

Love,

your mum

mbbored

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #290 on: December 20, 2011, 01:50:43 AM »
Dear Falcor,

You can sleep on the couch and bed when you pay for them or develop the ability to wash the sheets & blankets and vacuum the couch. Can't do that yet? Oh well, guess they're just for me.

Love,
me

Iris

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #291 on: December 20, 2011, 02:38:24 AM »
Dear Sunny,

Why? WHY do you go absolutely. freaking. nuts. every time you see those two black dogs? You play well with all the other dogs in the whole world. What is it about them? It's very embarrassing for mummy, especially since their owner is such an old grouch. No more off leash time for you until you learn to behave around them. I know you think I'm being mean but seriously, dude, they'll EAT you.

Love,
Bearer of Dog Food
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ammyd

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #292 on: December 20, 2011, 03:05:41 AM »
Dear Scraps,
I know that the horrible Christmas tree scares you but please stop slamming into my legs as you run to get around it. And right after I take you outside in the freezing cold do not whine that you want to go out again. This is why I laugh at you when the cat chases you through the house.

MonteCristo

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #293 on: December 20, 2011, 08:44:10 AM »
Dear Sydney,

I appreciate the fact that you bark to let me know if there is someone in front of the house, but please run over to the front window before letting it out.  When you are sitting up next to me and let out that ridiculously loud bark right in my ear it scares me to death and makes me very cross.  Also, once you have alerted me to the "danger" and I've told you it is ok, stop barking! 

Also, don't think that I haven't noticed that you purposely run through every puddle you find, or that you time your jump so that you get the maximum amout of water splashed up on yourself.  I wasn't born yesterday.

Mommy

Coralreef

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #294 on: December 20, 2011, 09:48:06 PM »
Dear Dogs,

Auntie and I are cooking holiday cookies.  They all have chocolate, you can't have any.  So stop crying, trying to climb on the counter and table were the cookies are cooling, pushing and pawing us.

When I put you outside to have bit of peace and quiet, you didn't need to make a hole in TWO, yes TWO, layers of fencing wires to go gallivanting in the neighbourhood.  Without your collar, I might add.

Love, you frazzled kibble provider.


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Kimblee

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #295 on: December 20, 2011, 10:04:19 PM »
Dear Bernadette,

You are just too pretty for words. Seriously I think you are the prettiest dog I have ever owned. (Don't tell the ninjas, okay?) I tell you every day how pretty you are, and how well behaved you are and how much I adore you. So could you kinda, you know, stop being such a clingybaby? (I know that's not what mama calls you, but this is a respectable board so we have to be respectable.)

There are two other people who live here and would love to adore you too. (That teenage boy who talks about kicking you to death or using you as catfish bait? He's bluffing and trying to be tough, but you're welcome to avoid him.) That lady in the chair? She's nice, i promise. She gives you peanuts and other yummies when you suck up to her, what makes you think she's gonna hurt you if you let her pet you? And the guy in the computer room? He's nice too, take a page from the ninjas, they know he's a pushover and has the best treats. Sausage, Ramen Noodles, popcorn... you love all those things!

So try to be friendly instead of hiding or clinging to me? Also, please learn the fetch game! Its (1)Throw (2)You bring the toy back. Simple. Its not (1)Throw and (2) Run to toy jump on it then run back without it. Fetch is more fun for Mama if she doesn't have to go get the toy.

Love,

Mama

Dear Baby and Bean,

You two are the ninjas. You know you are the ninjas. When i yell "NINJAS!" you come running for treats. This means you should go outside when I stand at the door and yell "NINJAS!" Not look at me then make me drag you two outside. Geeze!

Love,

Mama

Dear Bess,

You're perfect. Carry on.

Love,

Mama
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Dr. F.

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #296 on: December 22, 2011, 10:18:21 AM »
Mojo,

You're a puppy. I get that. I'm really happy you've recovered from your kennel cough and gotten all your youthful energy and exuberance back. It's nice that you're settling in so well. But, let's get a few things clear.

1. My arm is not a chew toy.
2. Pouncing on me and chewing on my arm at 5:30AM will get you banned from the bedroom, and no amount of pathetic whining will make me let you back in.

Your foster mom

Lucas,

You were that annoying (at least!) at that age. Really. You were. You may not remember it, but I do. Stop grumping at Mojo.

Mommy

Pelon and Ariel,

Just *PLAY* with Mojo already! You guys love to play. He's trying sooo hard to get you to play with him - stop growling!

Mom

Valentines Mommy

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #297 on: December 22, 2011, 11:32:09 AM »
Dr. F,

I love that you have a dog named Pelon!

Dr. F.

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #298 on: December 22, 2011, 01:54:53 PM »
Dr. F,

I love that you have a dog named Pelon!

He's a Mexican hairless, so it's quite appropriate! ;)

Dr. F.

Valentines Mommy

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #299 on: December 22, 2011, 02:31:19 PM »
That is too funny!