Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 78360 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Reader

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 636
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #315 on: January 13, 2012, 01:07:38 PM »
Dear Sheba,

Thank you so much for not using the basement as your personal toilet anymore.  I don't know if it was because I washed the floor with dish soap after the last incident after trying vinegar and bleach to no avail or if it's because I am letting a friend store stuff there and it now smells like her instead.  Either way we are on week three with no accidents so extra treats for you this weekend.

Love your mom.

hobish

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18186
  • Release the gelfling!
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #316 on: January 13, 2012, 02:53:38 PM »

Dear Kilik,

Thank you for peeing on your own toys instead of mine. I know you only did it because you weren't feeling well, and i truly appreciate the extra consideration.

Yours,
Not-the-mama
It's alright, man. I'm only bleeding, man. Stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can.
~Gaslight Anthem

Reader

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 636
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #317 on: January 16, 2012, 09:50:52 AM »
Dear Sheba,

You had been so behaved for the past couple of weeks.  That is until Saturday.  For the record everything food related that is put or dropped on the floor is yours.  However my half eaten sub, that I had on the end table(which is not the floor) which you took and ate was not yours for the taking.  So that is why you were shown outside and not let in for 20 minutes and also why no dinner for you.  No more stealing mom's food, got it?  Especially after you just got extra treats for being good.

Thanks,

your mom

Mental Magpie

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5025
  • ...for the dark side looks back.
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #318 on: January 18, 2012, 03:06:50 PM »
Dear Banshee,

You are such a good girl!  I never would have known your brother got out if you hadn't whined very loudly.  You also don't follow your brother out and about.  Momma loves you so much!

Dear Colossus,

I've had it up to about *here* with you.  You haven't escaped in months; my fence fix was working just fine.  Then you discovered you could put your 90lbs on it and bend it.  Now I have to find another way to keep you from climbing over the fence.  You are trying my patience.  I had to go into someone else's fenced in yard to get you...I have no freakin' idea how you got in there, but I'm just glad the owners didn't come out to find you there.  I guess at least you didn't tear your paw this time or go over the railroad tracks...

Begrudgingly with love,
Momma
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Miss Misha

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 276
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #319 on: January 18, 2012, 05:12:10 PM »
Dear Dice:

Contrary to the tripe that Disney dishes out, not all dogs go to Heaven.  Your thick husky coat will be detrimental should you go the other way.  Remember that the next time you consider another act of bad.

Dear Duke:

The people three counties away do not care that our doorbell has been rung.  Please quit barking like you are crazed everytime it rings.  That goes double for when a doorbell rings in a television show.

Fuzzy hugs and snuffly kisses,

Your Dog Mom

oz diva

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1115
  • The Classics are SO last Century
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #320 on: January 20, 2012, 08:58:51 AM »
Dear Jasper,

Next time you are stuck in the room at night with mommy while she is sleeping and you have to relieve yourself, please bark to wake me up. It woulda been nice, I am just sayin.

Your staff member.

I had a dog who would sit at the end of the bed and lick her lips until someone woke up to take her out for a pee.

Victoria

Iris

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3867
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #321 on: January 20, 2012, 04:25:22 PM »
Dear Sunny,

When you run to me frantically, desperately warning me about a situation in the back yard, try and make it interesting. I don't really need to know if the chicken is eating some of your food. Especially since you didn't want it 10 minutes ago.

Next time, Timmy better be down the well.

Love
Mummy
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

Nikko-chan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2584
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #322 on: January 20, 2012, 09:02:15 PM »
Dear Jasper,

Next time you are stuck in the room at night with mommy while she is sleeping and you have to relieve yourself, please bark to wake me up. It woulda been nice, I am just sayin.

Your staff member.

I had a dog who would sit at the end of the bed and lick her lips until someone woke up to take her out for a pee.

Would you wake up?

AylaM

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 326
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #323 on: January 21, 2012, 02:29:57 AM »
Dear Tucker,

It is a ROCK.

Not a toy.  I spent a small fortune buying you squeaky toys, balls, flying discs, and plush toys.  Why do you only want the rock I dug out of the garden? 

It isn't even a pretty rock.  It doesn't bounce.  It doesn't squeak.  And mommy can't throw it very far. 

And even if she could, she wouldn't.  What if it hit you?  That rock is bigger than your skull.  And as hard-headed as you seem, I'm quite sure the rock is harder.

Frankly, my dear puppy, I do not see the appeal.

Love,
Mommy


Mental Magpie

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5025
  • ...for the dark side looks back.
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #324 on: January 21, 2012, 02:41:34 PM »
Dear Colossus,

HA!  Momma has conquered again!  I didn't have to spend a dime to fix the fence and you are completely perplexed!  That metal mesh isn't going anywhere, mister puppy, so get used to it.  You'll have to wait until we get back to Colorado to go exploring again.  Deal with it.

Love,
Momma


Dear Banshee,

You continue to be such a good girl.  Your head tremors really creep out momma, but as long as I can distract you from them by letting you nibble on my fingertips, we both can be happy.  I know you're jealous because your brother gets to go exploring, so I promise we'll all go on a walk soon.

Love,
Momma
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

kitkatswing

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 477
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #325 on: January 29, 2012, 11:32:29 PM »
Dear Maui,

I dont know what it was that you have been eating, but seriously, I am going to put a cork up your butt if you do not stop farting..

The crop dusting (walks up to us, drops one, then walks away) is NOT funny. Well, ok its funny when you do it to your dad, but not when you get me....

Love,

Mum

WhiteTigerCub

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2423
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #326 on: February 02, 2012, 03:02:02 PM »
Dear Puppe"Roni"

Yes, yes you are the cutest thing ever and I really enjoy watching you collect all your toys and put them in a nice neat little pile for playing with. Ignoring them once they are in the pile and making a beeline for to play with chew my slippers is not so cute!

-that thing that is always yelling "no!"

Arizona

Information_queen

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2864
  • Meaghan, her family's personal librarian
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #327 on: February 02, 2012, 05:39:11 PM »
Dear Mudkips,

I know you like soft fluffy things to lay on. But those soft fluffy things on my bed? Those are my clothes, that I put there while I was folding them. Just because I haven't put them away yet, doesn't mean you get to make a bed out of them.

Oh, who am I kidding? But next time, could you just lay on top of them instead of knocking half of them over and sprawling over the whole mess?

Love,
The person who will be wearing dog hair for the next week

MizB

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1871
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #328 on: February 08, 2012, 03:17:21 AM »
Dear Toby,

It has been a great visit! I have enjoyed cuddling with you and bonding this whole week. Please don't be too sad when I leave. It worries Mamaw.


Love,
Mommy
‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’  attributed to Edmund Burke 1729-1797

jedikaiti

  • Swiss Army Nerd
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2672
  • A pie in the hand is worth two in the mail.
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #329 on: February 19, 2012, 11:35:45 PM »
Dear Pilsner,

I don't care WHAT you smell in the kitchen trash can. If you don't want to get on Mommy's you-know-what-list, you won't turn it over, dump out the contents, and drag your favorite bits into the living room.

No love tonight,
Mommy
Who is sooo getting a locking trash can, as soon as all my stupid homework for the week is done.
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture