Dear Dog:

[BarensMom]

Dear Czar, Nikki, Saber and Dr. F's dogs,

I am scared of the boomies too.  Mommy has to give me 2-3 peanut butter snacks with the weird crunchy thing when I hear them.  Then I don't remember anything until the next day.   Then I feel so weird, but Mommy says it's worth it because she doesn't have to clean up after me.

Baren

[readingchick]

Dear Marley, Ebony, and Pebbles:

As of 3 September you have a new little human to deal with. I'm sure the family does not want to hear about jealousy issues you three might have.


Your cousin,
readingchick

[gramma dishes]

Dear Dogs,

Woofing at thunder won't make it go away. Really.

Mom

Dear Mom,

How can you say that?   

Obviously it DOES work!  Haven't you noticed that if we woof at the thunder really ferociously for a long, long time it ALWAYS goes away?  You should be proud of us!!

Your Brave Thunder Protection Dogs

[oz diva]

Dear Dog,

It's Spring, there will be birds around. Some of them will even be foolish enough to nest in your garden. Please spare your family and the neighbours by being a bit more accepting of this situation. Barking incessantly at something high up in a tree achieves nothing.

Regards
The woman what feeds you

[Outdoor Girl]

Here's an article that talks about conditioning your dog not to be afraid of thunderstorms:

http://www.thestar.com/living/article/1251830--dog-training-scared-dog-can-be-taught-to-be-calm-during-storm

[MizB]

My Dearest Toby,

I know you don't get to see me often since you chose my mom as your favoritest human in the world, but I wish you wouldn't punish me by refusing to sit on my lap. Thank you for cuddling with me all week especially since I was sick. I hate that I have to leave you so soon.

Love always,
Me

[kitkatswing]

Dear Maui,

Yes I know there's thunder, yes I know its loud.. But NO, you cannot catch it, as hard as you might try, Im sorry dear doggy, you will never catch it..

(Although it is funny to watch)..

Love,

your mum.

[GraceSullivan]

Dear Beau,

Yes, you did prove me wrong when you were able to swallow the entire squirrel in only two large gulps as I was yelling at you to leave it.  But did you really have to vomit it up at my feet 30 minutes later?

Glad you're feeling better baby, sorry that you 'lost' your snack! 

Love,
Mama

[DistantStar]

Dear darling neighbor puppy,

There are few cuter things than an enthusiastic young black lab.  And you are very very cute.  But every time I see you, you race towards me and jump on me.  I don't fuss over dogs that don't have four paws on the ground, I'm very small and a big dog could accidentally hurt me if they jumped on me.  You are going to be a fairly sizable dog once you have finished growing.  This also really annoys your human as he thinks this is very bad dog manners; I've assured him that while I adore dogs and especially labs, I am not going to pet you if you are jumping at me.

So stop it!  Please stop jumping!  Let me pet you and scritch behind your ears and tell you how pretty you are.  Right now all I can do is turn my back when you leap at me and it is so, so hard!  Because you're so flipping cute!

[Mental Magpie]

Dear darling neighbor puppy,

There are few cuter things than an enthusiastic young black lab.  And you are very very cute.  But every time I see you, you race towards me and jump on me.  I don't fuss over dogs that don't have four paws on the ground, I'm very small and a big dog could accidentally hurt me if they jumped on me.  You are going to be a fairly sizable dog once you have finished growing.  This also really annoys your human as he thinks this is very bad dog manners; I've assured him that while I adore dogs and especially labs, I am not going to pet you if you are jumping at me.

So stop it!  Please stop jumping!  Let me pet you and scritch behind your ears and tell you how pretty you are.  Right now all I can do is turn my back when you leap at me and it is so, so hard!  Because you're so flipping cute!

Dear Neighbor Puppy,

My momma doesn't let me jump on people, but grandma does!  Grandma is my sole provider now, so I do what she says and ignore Momma.  Momma is mean and doesn't pet me unless I stop jumping, and she glares down at me until I do, with a very stern command to sit!  Then she pets me, and only then.  She's so mean!

From,
Skeletor

[mmswm]

Dear Baxter,

I promise you that if I leave a room, I will come back.  You don't have to bark loudly enough to rattle the window panes to let me know you're lonely.

Love,
Your new permanent slave.

[Avi]

Dear Bailie and Lucy,

Yes, I know there are geckos and frogs in our back yard, but you have no hope of catching either. So running around like loons, barking your heads off is not really doing anything. 

You are both too slow and too dumb.

The lizards and frogs are laughing at you.

So am I.

Love,

The one who gives food.

[Avi]

Dear Bailie and Lucy (again!),

You are both hopeless guard dogs.

If someone opens the big squeaky front gate, walks all the way up the drive, knocks on the front door... the time to start barking is not when they are in the living room!

You were supposed to start that 10 minutes ago!

Love,

The one you entertain!

[Nikko-chan]

Dearest Thing One and Thing Two (aka Murphy)

You are cute little pups, and your eyes have only just opened. But... while you are cute, would you refrain from farting while the humans are holding you? Puppy farts I have learned, smell worse than adult dog farts. How can such little things make such a big stink?

Sincerely,

Nikko

[mbbored]

Dear Falcor,

How is it that you take up 2/3 of the couch? You didn't buy it and I'm pretty sure you're not even supposed to be up here.

Love,
Your well trained owner