Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 66987 times)

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mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #465 on: April 11, 2013, 10:59:23 PM »
Dear Nikko-chan,

As your loyal, loving companion, I'm just trying to make sure that you don't have any critical dental issues.  I will try to be more gentle in the future.

Love,
Jasper.

Fliss

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #466 on: April 22, 2013, 09:07:15 PM »
Dear Sam:

You are a loveable, dippy dog -- and we have the photo to prove it!

Your highly amused Humans . . . .

Common sense: so rare it's officially classed as a super-power.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #467 on: April 22, 2013, 09:55:46 PM »
Dear Jasper,

I forgot to mention how proud I am of you! When my friend came over with her dog Buddy and we went for a walk with the both of you, you were very calm, and you didn't growl or try to bite his face off. Good job!

Love,

Mommy


Dear Holly,

You are the calmest girl in that house. Please stay that way.

Regards,

Nikko


Dear Buddy,

It is not polite to jump on someone when they enter your home. I know you are excited to see me, but you weigh like 75 lbs. I barely weigh 90 wet. Stop it.

Sincerely,

Nikko


Dear Debbie,

Quit jumping around like a rabbit that got into the sugar cubes. You are a lady, act like one!

Thank you,

Nikko


Dear Domino,

Thank you for being normal. How do you stand to live in that house?

Love,

Nikko

Fliss

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #468 on: April 27, 2013, 12:28:48 AM »

When Max grows up, he wants to be a police dog . . . .

Common sense: so rare it's officially classed as a super-power.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #469 on: April 27, 2013, 07:56:32 AM »
How cute!!!
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Dr. F.

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #470 on: April 27, 2013, 04:29:45 PM »
Dear Dogs,

I know there are three of you and only one of me, but could you scooch over just a bit so that I can fit onto the couch, too, and not have to perch on the very edge?

Mommy

Dear Ariel,

I swear, trying to keep you in the backyard is like trying to build a better mousetrap! How the heck did you manage to escape this time? At least the nice people who own your German Shepherd friend brought you back to me. Now I just have to reinforce the boundaries yet again.

Mom

KB

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #471 on: April 27, 2013, 06:46:10 PM »
Dear Dogs,

I know there are three of you and only one of me, but could you scooch over just a bit so that I can fit onto the couch, too, and not have to perch on the very edge?

Mommy

Dear Ariel,

I swear, trying to keep you in the backyard is like trying to build a better mousetrap! How the heck did you manage to escape this time? At least the nice people who own your German Shepherd friend brought you back to me. Now I just have to reinforce the boundaries yet again.

Mom

Dear Mom

While you're trying to reinforce the backyard, we won't have to worry about making room for you on the couch.

Love

The Dogs

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #472 on: April 27, 2013, 07:24:09 PM »
Dear Bubbles (Formerly Baxter),

No, I am not physically capable of running every day.  Please stop ripping your leash off the wall, dumping it in my lap, then going to retrieve my running shoes.  You will have to wait until Monday.

Love,
Mommy

Dr. F.

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #473 on: April 28, 2013, 07:30:26 PM »
Dear Pelon,

I can accept your vindaloo obsession, but licking straight gochujang* off of the floor where I dripped? You're insane. Don't you know that dogs aren't supposed to like spicy food?

Your confused mom

*a Korean spicy red pepper paste, along the lines of sriracha.

blue2000

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #474 on: April 29, 2013, 12:19:56 AM »
Dear Pelon,

I can accept your vindaloo obsession, but licking straight gochujang* off of the floor where I dripped? You're insane. Don't you know that dogs aren't supposed to like spicy food?

Your confused mom

*a Korean spicy red pepper paste, along the lines of sriracha.

<snicker>

Reminds me of a friend's cat - she got some bitter spray to keep him from chewing on ribbons/electrical cords/etc. He LOVED it. He'd go after whatever she sprayed it on. :P
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #475 on: May 03, 2013, 06:32:23 PM »
Dear Bubbles,

Thank you for your constant vigilance in keeping us safe from all intruders, however, planting your front paws on the top of the AT&T truck and physically blocking the tech from closing his door* so he could call Granddad to come call you off so he can fix our TV is a bit overkill.

Love,
Mommy

*We pulled in from a Walmart run and the dog had his front paws on the roof of the truck, belly pressed against the door opening and was staring down the poor tech. I opened my car door and called to the dog, then said hello to the tech and the dog had an instant change of attitude.  In about 2 nanoseconds he went from crazy giant dog who was not going to let ANYBODY past him to "OHMYGOODNESS! A Person!  He should pet me and give me love!"  The poor tech was shocked at how fast the dog changed personalities.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #476 on: May 03, 2013, 07:06:48 PM »
Dear Bubbles (Formerly Baxter),

No, I am not physically capable of running every day.  Please stop ripping your leash off the wall, dumping it in my lap, then going to retrieve my running shoes.  You will have to wait until Monday.

Love,
Mommy

Why the name change?

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #477 on: May 03, 2013, 07:09:37 PM »
Dear Bubbles (Formerly Baxter),

No, I am not physically capable of running every day.  Please stop ripping your leash off the wall, dumping it in my lap, then going to retrieve my running shoes.  You will have to wait until Monday.

Love,
Mommy

Why the name change?

For the same reason my cat (RIP) went from Humphrey to Booger: My boys are crazy. Oldest son started calling him Bubba, then youngest son took that and went with Bubbles.  He's answers to Bubbles.  It stuck.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #478 on: May 04, 2013, 12:10:38 AM »
Dear Jasper,

You were adorable laying in Cousin's temporary room! I know you love that rug because it is nice and cool on a hot day, but for the love of bob... please don't chew on Cousin's socks! And if you do, leave the evidence where it was originally and no one will be the wiser. Don't bring it out into the hallway so mommy has to pick it up, and realize it is slightly damp. That means mommy will have to put on her 'chastising voice'. I hate doing that.

Your loving (and disgusted) mommy,

Nikko

Dr. F.

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #479 on: May 07, 2013, 05:43:03 PM »
Dear Ariel,

It is NOT necessary to squeal like a stuck pig from the upstairs bedroom window just because I took your brother (adoptive) for a walk instead of you. You KNOW you take turns so that I can work on everyone's sitting and heeling skills independently. Did you really have to alert the whole neighborhood that you were unhappy about not getting a walk today? They probably thought I was torturing you.

Mom