Yesterday, you were NOT a good girl. I got a phone call at work from Housemate, saying you'd been under the house for an hour, barking and growling, with the occasional yelp of pain thrown in for good measure. So I came home, thinking you and the Devil were having a stoush.
I got changed into jeans, long sleeved jumper, boots, cap and leather gloves, then ventured under the house to rescue you. By this stage you'd been 'at it' for nearly 2 hours. I crouched, then crawled, then commando-style wriggled on my tummy as the land surface under the house rose, dragging a spotlight, until I could see you, up amongst the pipes where I couldn't fit, and your Great Adversary. What was it? A neighbour's cat...
I spent an hour under the house, sneezing from the dust, trying to catch you or chase out the cat (whatever, as long as the damned ruckus ended!) whilst you studiously avoided me. Housemate offered you treaties. No go. She hosed the deck, hoping it would persuade you and the cat to leave. No go. We tried the squeaky toy. No go. We, in short, tried every darn thing we could short of thermo-nuclear devices to persuade you and Kitty to depart. No go.
I gave up and crawled out from under the house - sore, sneezy still, and covered in dirt, old insulation fluff and goodness knows what else. Housemate now has a sore neck from trying to peer under the house and help extract you. I was not only dirty, but cold and busting for a visit to the girl's room. And you? You stayed under the house for another 2 hours before you finally surfaced. A total of 5 hours with the poor cat bailed up.
The upshot, Dear Molly, is that I am cranky with you. I hope those yelps were because Kitty got you a couple of times - girl, you deserved it. You obviously haven't learned from it, or you would have left Kitty alone after the first swipe. And all the 'sucking up' and cuddles you delivered later on last night, while nice, only go part-way to making up for what was a very uncomfortable and dirty experience for everybody involved.
Good girl! You came when called, and left Kitty alone. I'm sorry you got locked in the house and upset at all the noise down below - yes, I heard you running around and sooking above my head. I'm glad you've sometimes got enough sense to not let Molly drag you into her escapades.
Lots of love