Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 81793 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Lady Snowdon

  • Super cool awesome title
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5995
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #735 on: April 14, 2014, 07:44:55 AM »
Dear Baxter,

You know what's even more fun than refusing to move on a walk?  Making your people turn around and go back the way they came multiple times during a walk!  I used to do that to my dad all the time!  I don't do it as often now, ever since I tried it when there was the white cold stuff on the ground, and my feets got awful cold. 

Love,
Smokey

Dear Smokey,

Thank you so much for not barking at the noise that was keeping all of us awake last night.  Your people are so appreciative of that!  It made it easier to eventually fall asleep.

Also, why on earth do you bark at everything in the cul de sac except for garbage trucks?  You even bark at us when we come home, but when the huge noisy garbage trucks go by, you just sit and watch.  What makes them different?  And can we convince you that all cars share that same quality?

Love,

Your curious, but grateful, mom

mmswm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2171
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #736 on: April 14, 2014, 09:32:02 PM »
Dear Lady Snowdragon,

I make my humans take me on 3-4 walks every day, with each walk being a minimum of 2 miles.  It's pretty fun to drag them around town.  It's also fun to watch my mommy look confused when all the shop owners downtown greet me by name when she's never met them before (but I have, since my boys take me for walks a lot too.)

Love,
Baxter.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Julian

  • I lost it between Thriller and Gangnam Style...
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 761
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #737 on: April 14, 2014, 10:55:01 PM »

Dear Max

We need to talk about your attitude. You are loving and cuddly, but this extravagant growling you do whenever someone tries to move you is worrying. Last night you sounded like you were about to try and eat your daddy, and it's very disturbing to be woken by a dog that sounds like all three of Cerberus' heads.

Modify your language, young hound, or your days of snoozing on the bed when it's not in use are limited.

The provider of chewies and pigs ears.

Dear Max

I do the growly thing when Mum tries to move me too.  I don't know why she insists in sleeping in her own bed, in her own spot, but she does.  Humans.  Who can explain them?

I don't know how big you are, Max, but my mum just picks me up and moves me, even when I do my patented gravity-defying dead weight move.  If you're big enough and do it, your mum and dad might have to leave you right where you are!

Oh, and whatever you do, don't nip, or even pretend to nip.  The one time I tried that I got kicked off the bed altogether...  :-[  Turns out Mum is not afraid of being a Cranky Mum if I'm naughty.  And she laughs at my growls too...

Luv
Molly

Fliss

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 491
  • Australia - the land that time forgot.
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #738 on: April 15, 2014, 12:51:51 AM »

Dear Molly

I'm a strapping young male Rotty, so about 50 kilos (110 pounds). I don't have to do the heavy gravity thing because I am heavy! Mum and Dad can't lift me at all anymore.

I did nip dad one night when I was younger, and he grabbed my scruff, threw me on my back onto the floor and snarled into my face. It scared me so much I wet myself! I haven't nipped since, but I don't like being moved when I'm sleeping. The louder I growl, the more I'm actually shaking, and one night I shook so much the bed vibrated against the walls. Mum gave me cuddles, but it took me a few minutes to stop shaking.

I'll probably grow out of it in time, but for now it's just annoying. And at least I'm allowed on the bed to snooze, unlike other poor doggies who have to sleep on floors or even (ugh!) outside!

Max, the ferocious and mighty snugglepup.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

ladymaureen

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 109
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #739 on: April 15, 2014, 07:10:45 AM »
Dear Dog the First and Dog the Second:
Why is it you're particularly affectionate when I'm wearing black work pants? I just ask for information.
Mom

Where's the Quiet?

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 190
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #740 on: April 15, 2014, 09:21:23 AM »
Dear QuietDog,

You've been with us for less than a month and in that time you have chewed up 7 balls. 7! I finally found the perfect ball that won't pop and can't be torn up and what happens? You drop it in the opening in the deck where the hose spigot is and now it is unreachable. I will pick up another one today if you promise not to do it again.

Love,

Your Human


Lady Snowdon

  • Super cool awesome title
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5995
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #741 on: April 15, 2014, 06:35:10 PM »
Dear Dog the First and Dog the Second:
Why is it you're particularly affectionate when I'm wearing black work pants? I just ask for information.
Mom

Dear Mom,

So everyone can see our pretty furs, duh!  If you're wearing another color, the furs don't show up as well.  So we wait until everyone can see them against the black.  Because our furs are the best, and everyone should admire them!

Love,
The Dogs

Coralreef

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2291
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #742 on: April 17, 2014, 09:34:10 AM »
Dear Maya,

I'm sorry for laughing, but when you sneeze into your food bowl and the kibble flies all over the place, I can't help myself.

On a related subject, you don't need to sort out the kibbles, they are all the same.  Putting them in little groupings outside the bowl will not change that fact.  They will also taste the same, whether they are in or out of the bowl.  Are you counting them?

Sincerly,

Mom

[/right

Winterlight

  • On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog- arf.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9795
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #743 on: April 21, 2014, 10:29:29 AM »
Dear Dog the First and Dog the Second:
Why is it you're particularly affectionate when I'm wearing black work pants? I just ask for information.
Mom

Because we aren't black dogs. If we were, we'd snuggle with your khakis.

The Elegant Belgian
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

guihong

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6519
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #744 on: April 21, 2014, 10:40:35 AM »
Dear Maya,

I'm sorry for laughing, but when you sneeze into your food bowl and the kibble flies all over the place, I can't help myself.

On a related subject, you don't need to sort out the kibbles, they are all the same.  Putting them in little groupings outside the bowl will not change that fact.  They will also taste the same, whether they are in or out of the bowl.  Are you counting them?

Sincerly,

Mom



Dear Mama,

I've seen you sort M&M's before eating them, though they all taste the same in the bag.  You can't get on me for this  ;D.

Love, Maya



mmswm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2171
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #745 on: April 22, 2014, 03:07:46 AM »
Dear Baxter,

You are a sneaky puppy.  It's unfair tactics to get all snuggly then sneak attack by licking me in the face and sticking your tongue up my nose.  And no, I did not buy the innocent puppy look you gave me as you quickly looked away. This is gross.  Please refrain from doing so in the future.

Dear Lucy,

It's a glass door.  I know it can sometimes be hard to see, but try not to run into it at 50 miles per hour.  You might get hurt and the door might break.  Neither of these things are good options.

Love,
Mom.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Fliss

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 491
  • Australia - the land that time forgot.
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #746 on: April 22, 2014, 04:55:42 AM »

Dear Maya,

How do you know what those delicious smelling little balls of stuff are? Our mummy and dad are sooooo mean to us poor, starving Demons, we aren't even allowed to sniff the empty packets, and we know it must taste great!

What's your secret?

The Demon Twins.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2449
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #747 on: April 22, 2014, 05:03:25 AM »
Dear Rocky,

Are you secretly a werewolf or the Hound of the Baskervilles?  Your sleep-howling is extra creepy.  Please stop so you don't give mommy nightmares.

Love,
Your very disturbed mommy.

Coralreef

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2291
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #748 on: April 22, 2014, 09:49:08 AM »
Dear Demon Twins,

I have not been able to taste mom's kibbles, but not for lack of trying. They must taste good because she says it's her treat and she sorts them by colour (from dark grey to light grey). 

Best regards,

Maya

[/right

mmswm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2171
Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #749 on: May 04, 2014, 05:02:42 PM »
Dear Baxter,

I'm totally okay with the gigantic crater next to the fence, but when you start digging craters that threaten the foundation of the house, I have a problem.  Please keep your digging activities restricted to areas that won't compromise the integrity of the house.

Love,
The provider of ear scritches.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)