Firstly, I don't know who pooped on the bathmat and the loungeroom rug, but whoever it was, don't do it again. Secondly, please don't chase the cats, even if they do ask for it sometimes.
Molly - please don't be such a clingy little cranky-pants. I'm back now, I'm not going anywhere, and Zoe* is only here for another week or so. And please, please, please let me finish cutting your hair - that 'fat hairy leg' thing is not a good look for you, hun.
Suzi - good girl! I missed you too, little wifey**.
Ella - not much to say here, you've been fairly good, but by golly, please refrain from the 'bull at a gate' impersonations. You nearly knock me flying every time I come home!
Zoe - good girl! I know you've been missing your Mummy and Daddy, but you've been so well behaved! I'm glad you're standing up for yourself against the bigger doggies. Please don't learn too many more bad habits from them.
The bed warmer, tummy rubber and food distribution service.
*Been overseas for six weeks, Zoe belongs to the house sitters and is staying with us while they go for a longer jaunt around the state on their own. She's a tiny little Maltese terrier and is just lovely.
**wifey, because I wake up with her cuddling up to me every morning, head on my pillow.