Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 91069 times)

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Virg

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #15 on: October 13, 2009, 04:45:01 PM »
Dearest Dog:

You're so full of it.  I know it stinks to have to go outside in the rain to pee.  It's wet and cold.  But the whimpering and the acting like your leg hurts?  Save it for mommy, because she falls for it.  Remember yesterday when I took out the treat and flipped it down the wet, rainy stairs and you went after it two steps at a time?

I do.  Get your butt down the stairs, you big faker.

Virg

drebay

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #16 on: October 13, 2009, 04:47:56 PM »
Dear Abby Part 2

You are a girl AND you have been spayed.  Please stop humping on me.
From:  The male dog that actually used to be able to do that.

rashea

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #17 on: October 13, 2009, 05:22:30 PM »
Dear Jake,

Getting Dad to text me that you needed more dog biscuits was unnecessary. I know that you will fade away into practically nothing if forced to eat factory made dog biscuits.

And while Mom appreciates your gifts, the neighbor lady was very confused when you gave her a fish. Especially when she realized that you didn't kill it first. You really could have just let it go back into the water like you do with the crayfish. And just a warning, don't come to me when they pinch you.

Finally, don't get mad at me when I don't pretend with you that you are under the bed when in reality it's just your head. If you don't want people to know you are there, crawl just a bit further.

Love you!
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

Vermont

KCee

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #18 on: October 13, 2009, 05:25:50 PM »
Dear Dog:

Yes, your butt is very cute, here's a scratch, but I want to pet your head now! OK, yes I see your butt, there it is! Now, SIT so I can scratch your head...

...Ok, very nice attempt, but you're sitting backwards.  Your butt should not be in the air with your head on the ground.  Very cute. 

Love,
The part-owner of a wiggly little Boxer.

Giggity

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #19 on: October 13, 2009, 05:48:21 PM »
Dear Dog,

It's sweet that you try to protect mommy, but I promise you that no matter how hard you try you will not beat that thunderstorm.  Even if it were corporeal, you weigh 15 pounds and you're missing a leg.   Just take a nap, it'll be more restful for both of us.

Starchasm

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Words mean things.

Alida

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #20 on: October 13, 2009, 06:13:49 PM »
Dear Orion:

I know how much you love balls and how much fun you have when I hide them behind my  back.  But trust me, I will NEVER hide them in the front of my shirt, at chest level.  I know what they look like, dear, but those are not your balls in there!

Love,
Mommy

Alida

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #21 on: October 13, 2009, 06:25:39 PM »
Dear Anubis:

I know you think you're really a cat, but you're not.  The day is going to come when you and Orion are going to take over my desk, but I'm trying to put that off as long as possible.

Love,
Auntie

NsWife

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #22 on: October 13, 2009, 06:27:29 PM »
Dear El Puppus,
I really wish you would stop tearing up my dirty undies.  I know it is you......there may be lots of dogs in the house but you forget I caught you once.

Dear Lou,
Isn't that yummy doggie prozac making life better for both of us? I know you are still having a hard time without Daddy here but he is not coming home. Sorry. Get used to it.

With love and cuddles,

Doggie Mama

Midalah

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #23 on: October 13, 2009, 06:27:52 PM »
Dear Anubis:

Honey, you don't like baths. Trust me. In fact we proved it tonight as you soaked me while I gave you one. So believe me when I say that as much as you think you want to join me in the shower when I take one, you won't like it at all.

Love,
Mama

Valentines Mommy

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #24 on: October 13, 2009, 06:29:19 PM »
Dear Valnentine

Please stop opening the bathroom door.  Mommy needs her privacy.

Love,
Mommy

little bird

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #25 on: October 13, 2009, 06:32:18 PM »
Dear Sebastian,

I hate to break it to you but you are simply too big to be a lapdog.  You weigh more than half what mommy does.  You do look adorable curled up in a ball but when you're actually on me?  It gets hard to breathe.  Please get off.

Love,
Mommy
there's a special providence in the fall of a sparrow

I am grateful for the friends I have made on EHell and everything I have learned, but it is time I move on.

iradney

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #26 on: October 14, 2009, 02:04:01 AM »
Dear Hopper

Yes, yes, we're going for a walk! WOOHOO! I'm going as fast as I can, please stop pulling on the leash :(

Love,
Mommy
“It is not who is right, but what is right, that is of importance.”
-Thomas Huxley

Molebert

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #27 on: October 14, 2009, 02:38:53 AM »
Dear Eros

Yes. That's a bird. And that too. Oh look, another one.
I know you're a gun dog, but we neither hunt sparrows nor doves. Not crows either, and no, not falling leaves.
In fact, I don't hunt at all, that's daddy. In the mountains...
Can we just walk? I made it to the shop a lot faster walking with a two year old.
Your point is very pretty though.

Love, mummy


NsWife

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #28 on: October 14, 2009, 06:42:10 AM »
Dear Doggies,
Yes, it is raining. I know Sampson likes playing in the rain, but the rest of you hate to get your dainty (and some not so dainty) paws wet. Oh well.  You still have things to do outside and I will have a fit if you even consider doing them in the house.  Fair warning, the weatherman says to expect rain all week.  I promise to have warm towels and blankets for you all when you come in. So, GO.  Bye now!
Love,
Doggie Mama

Winterlight

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #29 on: October 14, 2009, 10:24:19 AM »
Dear Rufus,

We know you love your sibling dogs. However, the senior Aussie is old and breakable. She hates being bounced on. That's why she growls at you. The rest of us would growl at you when you bounce on us if we could get the correct amount of menace into it.

Love,

Winter
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls