Dear Dog:

[kitty-cat]

Dear Chanel: You are 5 pounds.  I am much more than that.  Please stop trying to stand under my feet while I'm walking with laundry.

Dear Peanut: I know you like playing with your toys, but could you please be a little more gentle with them?  The cost of new toys is starting to add up.

Dear Tessie: You too are 5 pounds.  Why can you near push me off of the couch when I was on there first?

Dear Peanut&Tessie:  The neighbors below us would really like it if you would stop running around like maniacs when Peanut comes to visit.  The two of you are small, but still....

Love,
the one who feeds you

[Kimblee]

Dear Bean and Baby,

I love you too terribly. i love when you throw yourselves into my arms, and lick me, and everything else.

But know this. Your full names are... well, a bit offensive. This isn't your fault, nor is it mine. Stepdaddy names the two of you, and unfortunatly he did so while he was very out of his mind, due to pain medicines and loss of oxygen. Your names are nothing OBVIOUSLY offensive. In fact I had no idea baby's name even WAS offensive for a year or two, but they are enough that i would prefer that you come back to me when i yell "Bean! Baby!"

Please stop making me call you by your full names... i've spent almost four years getting you used to your new, shorter names. get with the program.

I love you two more than choclate.

Love,

Your Kimmie-Mama

[NsWife]

Dear Bean and Baby,

I love you too terribly. i love when you throw yourselves into my arms, and lick me, and everything else.

But know this. Your full names are... well, a bit offensive. This isn't your fault, nor is it mine. Stepdaddy names the two of you, and unfortunatly he did so while he was very out of his mind, due to pain medicines and loss of oxygen. Your names are nothing OBVIOUSLY offensive. In fact I had no idea baby's name even WAS offensive for a year or two, but they are enough that i would prefer that you come back to me when i yell "Bean! Baby!"

Please stop making me call you by your full names... i've spent almost four years getting you used to your new, shorter names. get with the program.

I love you two more than chocolate.

Love,

Your Kimmie-Mama

OK, now I need to know......what are their full names?
Raliegh, Sadie,Lou, Lilly, August, Bella, Sampson's and Sam (the bird) 's mom

[Bellantara]

Dear Bean and Baby,

I love you too terribly. i love when you throw yourselves into my arms, and lick me, and everything else.

But know this. Your full names are... well, a bit offensive. This isn't your fault, nor is it mine. Stepdaddy names the two of you, and unfortunatly he did so while he was very out of his mind, due to pain medicines and loss of oxygen. Your names are nothing OBVIOUSLY offensive. In fact I had no idea baby's name even WAS offensive for a year or two, but they are enough that i would prefer that you come back to me when i yell "Bean! Baby!"

Please stop making me call you by your full names... i've spent almost four years getting you used to your new, shorter names. get with the program.

I love you two more than chocolate.

Love,

Your Kimmie-Mama

OK, now I need to know......what are their full names?
Raliegh, Sadie,Lou, Lilly, August, Bella, Sampson's and Sam (the bird) 's mom

Me too. . .

Lady's mama

[Kimblee]

Dear Bean and Baby,

I love you too terribly. i love when you throw yourselves into my arms, and lick me, and everything else.

But know this. Your full names are... well, a bit offensive. This isn't your fault, nor is it mine. Stepdaddy names the two of you, and unfortunatly he did so while he was very out of his mind, due to pain medicines and loss of oxygen. Your names are nothing OBVIOUSLY offensive. In fact I had no idea baby's name even WAS offensive for a year or two, but they are enough that i would prefer that you come back to me when i yell "Bean! Baby!"

Please stop making me call you by your full names... i've spent almost four years getting you used to your new, shorter names. get with the program.

I love you two more than chocolate.

Love,

Your Kimmie-Mama

OK, now I need to know......what are their full names?
Raliegh, Sadie,Lou, Lilly, August, Bella, Sampson's and Sam (the bird) 's mom

Me too. . .

Lady's mama

I'll PM u

I still don't know just how offensive the names are, so i don't feel okay putting them in the thread.

[Alida]

PM me, too, please?  I'm very curious right now!

[kitty-cat]

Can I know too?  Thank ya!

On topic:

Tessie,

Geni has just gone out for a bit.  There is no need for you to bark at the door like some poor little abandoned puppy.  I'm still here after all...

-The person who is cooking chicken rite now and who can give you a tiny piece

[lisat]

Dear Jake,

I know I leave those old crocs by the backdoor for a reason.  I am fully aware that your water bowl is close beside them. Just how on earth do you manage to get a drink of water and then drool inside of them?  I am getting tired of slidding my bare feet into drool coated shoes on my way outside. ugh

I know that you were raised by cats. However-just because they wake us up in the morning by jumping on our chests and then patting our cheeks does not mean that you can do it.  They weigh 10 lbs-you are a Great Pyrenees and weigh considerately more.

Yes I know that it was you who got the roast off of the counter. Are you happy that we had fried egg sandwiches tonight?

Love
Mom

[Alida]

Yes I know that it was you who got the roast off of the counter. Are you happy that we had fried egg sandwiches tonight?

This has me giggling!  I bet Jake enjoyed that roast!

[magdalena]

Dear Lotta,

I know I haven't mopped the floors yet this week. You still don't have to do it for me. Really, I promise you I'll clean today.

Further, I know you miss Daddy, but he's only been gone a few days and he'll come home, you know he always comes home. You don't need to search the whole appartment every morning and then sit there at my feet whimpering. I promise you he'll be home tomorrow.

You know that you're a Lab, right? And you also know that you love swimming? And showers. And rain. Would you mind telling me why the wet lawn is such a problem that you won't go out to pee but bug me to take you for a walk on the street? I'd really like to know.

Luv,
Mom

[readingchick]

Dear Susie-Q:

I know you love to see Cousin Readingchick because she gives you belly rubs, but is it really necessary for you to flop on your back in a high-foot traffic area when you see your cousin?


Dear Abby:

We get it. You don't like to be crated up every Thanksgiving while Susie's working the crowd. However, I'm fairly sure that your mommy makes it a point to give you extra cuddles and kisses and whatnot after those people leave. So would you please keep the barkage down this year? Please?

Love,
your human cousin

[Elfqueen13]

Yes I know that it was you who got the roast off of the counter. Are you happy that we had fried egg sandwiches tonight?

This has me giggling!  I bet Jake enjoyed that roast!

Our dog would rather have the egg sandwich.

[Ms_Cellany]

Dear Nero:

We see the squirrels.  Yes, we see those too.  We see them on the roof.  We see them in the yard.  We can see, you know. 

Yes, we see those, too.  Yes, and those.  We know they have an evil empire and are plotting to destroy us all AND they are filled with gravy and Wendy's frosty (thanks, Uncle Mikey).  We see them.

Love,
mama

*snerk*!

[PeasNCues]

Dear Pilsner,

I love you. You are a snuggle bug who likes getting up on Auntie Peas's lap and snuggling. Auntie Peas LOVES that. However, mommy says it's got to stop as you snuggle other people who are not so receptive to a Golden Retriever on their laps.

So, remember, blame mommy

- Auntie Peas

[Valentines Mommy]

Dear Valentine,

The chewing has to stop!  With all the nice, doggie chews I leave out for you, why do you still decide to nibble the coffee table and chew the feet off the couch?  You aren't teething anymore so that excuse doesn't fly.  Flopping on your back and giving me fang, as cute as it is, does not make up for it.  Enough with the chewing already.  Furniture is not for noms!

Love,
Mommy