Dear Dog:

[kitty-cat]

Dear Tessie,

I don't really like you too much except for snuggles, but you have 2-3 people who do like you. I would like you too if you would just stop barking at every. single. sound. outside of our apartment. And I'm pretty sure the neighbors would like it too...


Thank you,
The one who gives you chicken!

[HeebyJeebyLeebee]

Dear Bonny,

Leave your sister alone.  She will rip you to pieces, and when she's done, I'm not putting you back together.  And leave your smaller brother alone too - it's weirding me out to hear a cat growl like that. 

Oh, and thank you for not peeing all over the entry way floor the last few nights.  Way to go!

Love,
Mommy


Dear Jack,

Good boy!  We're so proud of how well you try to protect your new sister and be a good role model. 

Love,
Mommy

[snowfire]

Dear Muffy the Shih Tsu,

I know you just want to play with my kitties.  However, even the smallest one outweighs you and they are fully armed. Scooter does not have a sense of humor and would just as soon fillet you as look at you.

If you want to keep all your bodily parts intact, please don't chase the kitties.

Love,

Your Neighbor

[siamesecat2965]

To my doggie nephew and his sister, who I take care of when mommy and daddy go away:

Names changed to protect the innocent:

Dear DN:

I know you are old, and have some, um, digestive issues, but I would really appreciate it if you could hold your gas, and not let fly as I'm walking up the stairs RIGHT BEHIND you....Its really not pleasant at all.

You get your treat every night at the same time.  headbutting me an hour and a half before that time WILL not make me get up and give it to you any earlier, you;ll just have to wait.

To the both of you - I know you have to go out and do your business when you wake up, but I am the boss, so no one goes out, until I go first! 

Love,
Aunt Siamesecat

[kennedar]

Dear Meeka

I love you to death, but you really need to come to bed at the same time as Daddy and I and sleep through the night. Last night when you started wanting to play every half hour for the whole night. Daddy and I do not want to play during the night! We would be much cheerier if you slept through the night and far more willing the throw the ball for you!

Love

Mommy

[Alida]

Dear Orion:

You've had to spend the weekend boarding at the vet since Mommy couldn't bring you to DC with her and Grandma is afraid you'll run away on her. I know it is your favoritest place in the world next to snuggling with The Girl in bed*, but I sure do miss you!

Love,
Mommy

*It really is! Orion perks up and his tail wags so hard when anyone says the word "vet", I expect him to take off.  I think it's because my little bruiser loves the other dogs and all the attention that he gets from the staff there.

[rashea]

Dear Orion:

You've had to spend the weekend boarding at the vet since Mommy couldn't bring you to DC with her and Grandma is afraid you'll run away on her. I know it is your favoritest place in the world next to snuggling with The Girl in bed*, but I sure do miss you!

Love,
Mommy

*It really is! Orion perks up and his tail wags so hard when anyone says the word "vet", I expect him to take off.  I think it's because my little bruiser loves the other dogs and all the attention that he gets from the staff there.

We call it "sleep away camp" but then, the place Jake goes has doggie daycare, which means he runs all day long. Though the first time the staff was a bit confused when he tried to curl up in their laps and take a nap.

[Rainbowtomato]

Dear Max,

please behave for your mom, she is trying very hard to be ok with getting you a play mate, and please try not to be so sad it makes all of us sad too. please do not try and be friends with the boxer, he can eat you in one bite, and please eat your dog food it's good for you i promise

Love,
Your human sister

[Little Jo]

Dearest most adorable Scamps
I know that you think you're a great Dane but you are a shih tzu honey, therefore that big dog next door could eat you for breakies.
Also if you jump on a frog it gets squished barking at it won't reanimate it so you can do it again.

Dearest Gizmo
I know you love water but its not necessary to try and swim in every body of water, some are too small and others are too fast flowing, also I know chasing chickens is great fun but the chickens don't like it and neither does grandma.

[Lady Snowdon]

Dear Orion:

You've had to spend the weekend boarding at the vet since Mommy couldn't bring you to DC with her and Grandma is afraid you'll run away on her. I know it is your favoritest place in the world next to snuggling with The Girl in bed*, but I sure do miss you!

Love,
Mommy

*It really is! Orion perks up and his tail wags so hard when anyone says the word "vet", I expect him to take off.  I think it's because my little bruiser loves the other dogs and all the attention that he gets from the staff there.

We refer to Smokey's boarding place as "The Favorite Place", because as soon as you tell him he's going there, he bounces up, and runs around like a crazy dog, barking and demanding that we go *NOW NOW NOW*.  It's quite funny.  At least we never have to worry about problems when we go away...

[eport]

Dear Scotty,

My pony tail is not a chew toy.

Thank you.

[mbbored]

Dear Falcor,

You are the cutest thing in the world when you sit down reach up with your front paws to give me ten.  It makes me want to eat you up.

You chewing a toy to death, burying it, digging it back up, chewing on it more then dropping it into my lap?  The most disgusting part of my day, and I work with animal carcasses that have been left out for a few days.  Seriously, get a new hobby.

Love,
me

[MizB]

Dear Falcor

I love that your dog's name is Falcor. After my shih tsu started to get older I had wished I had thought of that as a name.

[Information_queen]

Dear Mudkips,

You are housetrained. We both know it. So the accidents have got to stop. I know you know how to tell me you need to go out.

It is especially annoying when we take you out, you pee, and then you ask to go out again, and you pee, and *then* we find the present you left for us on the living room carpet. Seriously? How hard is it to just ask if you need to go? I know you can because you apparently asked to go out right after you left us the lovely present!

Also, when you spend the weekend with Mommy's friend, it is generally considered polite *not* to attack her dog and pin her to the ground by the neck while she's trying to eat.

Mommy would really appreciate it if you would stop doing things that make her contemplate dropping you off at the nearest animal shelter.

Love,
She Who is Not Going to be Patient Much Longer

[mbbored]

Dear Falcor

I love that your dog's name is Falcor. After my shih tsu started to get older I had wished I had thought of that as a name.

Random strangers on the street call my dog Falcor, it's almost frightening how much he looks like the original