I love you to death, because you're generally a very, very good dog, but you've been annoying today.
First, yes, it has been raining on and off for a few days straight, because of TS Isaac. I know you despise anything that gets you wet without also making you smelly (ergo, mud puddles and lake water are fine, but baths and rainwater are not), but whining because you need to do your business while simultaneously refusing to approach the door is annoying. I do however appreciate that you will go outside when you really, really, really need to go.
Second, that loaf of bread was in the trash can for a reason. Besides the fact that you're allergic to wheat, and can't have bread at all, that bread was moldy. I was impressed with the way you opened the bag to get it out though - my last bread-stealing dog would just eat the whole thing, wrapper and all. As an addendum to this point, stay out of the trash can!
Third, the entire part of the house that you have access to is tiled, except for the wooden stairs. That is 750+ square feet of places that you could have thrown up (possibly because of my second point) without it causing a problem for me or the cats. Of course, you had to target the one small area that did - you upchucked in the water bowl. The kitties were very, very, very unhappy about the state of the water and informed me of the pollutant at the top of their lungs - you may notice that it's 4 AM and I was trying to sleep.
Your very exasperated owner. And the kitties. Especially the kitten, who likes to snuggle with you but was very thirsty.