To: The Ultimate Opportunist
Re: My breakfast, and the underlying loyalty issue.
That was not
I had not abandoned it, I had just gone to the bathroom.
I understand that your Overlord Stomach demands complete loyalty and obedience, but I will remind you of the following:
your stomach does not brush your ears
your stomach does not throw your stuffed duckey
your stomach does not protect your from loud noises
your stomach does not take you on fun walkies, in fact it interferes with them by causing you to eat inappropriate and/or dangerous things
We had an agreement in which you would receive two rations of food daily in exchange for presenting an image of cuteness and providing companionship. This agreement is not negotiable. You cannot subsidize your salary by begging off the books, and outright thievery such as occurred this morning will result in a reduction of your rations.
I hope those frosted flakes were worth it, you furry food-obsessed little twip.
Your Long-Suffering and Ever Benevolent Mistress.