Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 86468 times)

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Bottlecaps

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #450 on: April 04, 2013, 05:08:16 PM »
Dear Matey:

We knew you were sick, but never how much until you left. How did you manage to hide being diabetic for 6 months, all the while running and playing and chasing your dumbell until just after christmas, and only 2 weeks before you went?

Dear Sam:

You are a loveable, goofy, Rotty boy, and as soon as your Human works out how to post pics, she'll show the world that photo of you when you decided to be silly. But can you PLEASE stop eating your Humans thongs? They're only rubber, and it might do evil things to your tummy if you keep it up. And it's getting expensive to replace them.

Your (barefoot) Human

Was very glad to see you were from Australia after reading that.

LOL! My boyfriend's brother has a dog that prefers the other kind. :-P So, unfortunately for his girlfriend, she's constantly having to buy new undies!

Dear Ginger,

While we love that you get excited when we get home and love knowing that you missed us, could you please tone it down a couple of notches? Or at least make it not-so-high-pitched? We love our ears and don't want them to give out anytime soon.

Love,
Mom & Dad
"Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." -Tori Amos


Julian

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #451 on: April 04, 2013, 06:58:39 PM »
Dear Suzi

My bed.  Mine!  OK?  I'm happy to share with you and Molly, but for Dog's sake, when I come to bed, move out of my spot.  Don't just roll over on your back for a belly rub and stay there (while I laugh myself silly at you).

Love
Your over-indulgent mum.

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #452 on: April 04, 2013, 07:10:40 PM »
Dear Suzi

My bed.  Mine!  OK?  I'm happy to share with you and Molly, but for Dog's sake, when I come to bed, move out of my spot.  Don't just roll over on your back for a belly rub and stay there (while I laugh myself silly at you).

Love
Your over-indulgent mum.

Dear Mum,

Yeah, this idea you have that the bed is yours? Not a chance.  I only let you think that because you do give me belly rubs and feed me the good food.  But, just so we're clear, the bed is mine and I let you sleep in it because I'm a nice dog.

Love,
Suzi
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Julian

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #453 on: April 04, 2013, 07:34:32 PM »
Dear Suzi

My bed.  Mine!  OK?  I'm happy to share with you and Molly, but for Dog's sake, when I come to bed, move out of my spot.  Don't just roll over on your back for a belly rub and stay there (while I laugh myself silly at you).

Love
Your over-indulgent mum.

Dear Mum,

Yeah, this idea you have that the bed is yours? Not a chance.  I only let you think that because you do give me belly rubs and feed me the good food.  But, just so we're clear, the bed is mine and I let you sleep in it because I'm a nice dog.

Love,
Suzi

 ;D

Lynnv

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #454 on: April 04, 2013, 08:49:53 PM »
Dear Baxter,

The kids are allowed to swim in the pool.  I don't understand why you love the ocean so much yet think the swimming pool is liquid evil, but rest assured the adults have taught all the kids how to swim and are properly supervising them.  You do not have to follow them around, barking at them, and you really don't have to jump in the pool to drag them out when they dive.  I promise they'll be okay.

Love,
Mom

Dear Mom,

I am pretty sure I saw Alice Cooper hanging around the pool.  And he was carrying the giant can of liquid evil from this movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093777/

Which means the pool cannot be trusted.  No pool can be trusted.  Alice Cooper dumped liquid evil into it.  And you missed it because you were doing something silly. 

Many slobbery hugs,
Baxter
The Ever Vigilant
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #455 on: April 04, 2013, 09:27:14 PM »
Dear Baxter,

The kids are allowed to swim in the pool.  I don't understand why you love the ocean so much yet think the swimming pool is liquid evil, but rest assured the adults have taught all the kids how to swim and are properly supervising them.  You do not have to follow them around, barking at them, and you really don't have to jump in the pool to drag them out when they dive.  I promise they'll be okay.

Love,
Mom

Dear Mom,

I am pretty sure I saw Alice Cooper hanging around the pool.  And he was carrying the giant can of liquid evil from this movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093777/

Which means the pool cannot be trusted.  No pool can be trusted.  Alice Cooper dumped liquid evil into it.  And you missed it because you were doing something silly. 

Many slobbery hugs,
Baxter
The Ever Vigilant

Bwahahahahahaha.  Thanks for that.  I really needed the laugh. :)
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

MissRose

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #456 on: April 05, 2013, 11:59:27 AM »
Dear Coco (my sister and boyfriend)'s dog,

Please learn to stop jumping on people and licking them.  I know your owners are trying to stop you from doing so as they are responsible doggy parents.

Also, no need to hide from people that come over like my dad.  He really loves all of the dogs, and would like to be able to pet you also.

Love,

Auntie Rose (and provider of occasional treats to all 4 dogs: Keeta, Banana, Dude and Coco)

greencat

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #457 on: April 06, 2013, 11:45:53 PM »
Dear Rocky,
Please stop digging in the kitchen garbage.  Furthermore, stop chewing on empty tuna/cat food/etc cans.  I'm afraid that you're going to break a tooth one of these days, but so far, all you're breaking are the cans.
Love, Mommy to the metal-eating-monster-dog. 

Dr. F.

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #458 on: April 09, 2013, 07:16:28 PM »
Dear Pelon,

Why do you beg to lick my plates when I eat curry? You *know* vindaloo makes you sneeze, but you eat it anyway, goof.

Mommy

Lady Snowdon

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #459 on: April 09, 2013, 09:53:57 PM »
Dear Pelon,

Why do you beg to lick my plates when I eat curry? You *know* vindaloo makes you sneeze, but you eat it anyway, goof.

Mommy

Curry has smells.  Smells by definition are good, so it means I should eat whatever you have that smells!

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #460 on: April 09, 2013, 10:07:38 PM »
Dear Baxter,

Thank you for being every so vigilant in your duties.  While I do appreciate everything you do, is there any way I can train you to take the dead snakes, raccoons, and possums away from the property instead of leaving them by the front door?

Love,
Mom
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Fliss

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #461 on: April 10, 2013, 06:32:39 AM »
Quote
Dear Sam:

You are a loveable, goofy, Rotty boy, and as soon as your Human works out how to post pics, she'll show the world that photo of you when you decided to be silly. But can you PLEASE stop eating your Humans thongs? They're only rubber, and it might do evil things to your tummy if you keep it up. And it's getting expensive to replace them.

Your (barefoot) Human

And here's the photo that proves it . . .

https://www.dropbox.com/home?select=dippysam.jpg

Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #462 on: April 10, 2013, 10:47:09 PM »
Quote
Dear Sam:

You are a loveable, goofy, Rotty boy, and as soon as your Human works out how to post pics, she'll show the world that photo of you when you decided to be silly. But can you PLEASE stop eating your Humans thongs? They're only rubber, and it might do evil things to your tummy if you keep it up. And it's getting expensive to replace them.

Your (barefoot) Human

And here's the photo that proves it . . .

https://www.dropbox.com/home?select=dippysam.jpg

its telling me i have to sign in or get an account to view it.

Winterlight

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #463 on: April 11, 2013, 10:23:19 AM »
Dear Daisy,

I know you're in heat, but stop bugging your brothers. A) They're neutered and don't know what you want, and B) You're a cocker spaniel. They are an Australian shephard and a Belgian sheepdog. The mechanics of this really, really don't work.

Dear Skipper,

Make dad play ball with you more often. He needs it.

Dear Rufus,

You are an adorable snuggle baby and I love you very much. Just please don't jump on mom. She's kind of fragile.


Love,
Me
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #464 on: April 11, 2013, 10:56:38 PM »
Dear Jasper,

I love it when you lay with me and you snuffle and shift. It is cute. What is not cute is when your paw goes into my mouth and your nail hooks onto my gum and goes down my tooth. It hurts. Luckily I got your nails clipped recently so no blood was shed. But uh... could you not do that anymore? Please?

Your loving owner