I am so happy we were able to rescue you last year. Your former owner was a nice guy who loved you, but at 11, you should no longer be living in a van with a pot head traveling around the country. I am glad you came in and loved the kids and cats right away (and surprisingly they love you even though they hadn't been around a dog before). It is sweet when you let Sophie lick your paws and Lola curls up with you, you handle Jezebel's mood swings well (yeah, I heard the growl the other day but I chose to ignore it because she had it coming), and you gladly sleep on the hard floor when Mr. B takes your bed and won't let you in. But...you have a few habits we need to discuss. You have gained weight in the 8 months since you came to us..yeah you weren't svelte when we got you but we may have been a bit overboard in the treats..sweetheart you no longer have a neck and when you stand on my foot you are crushing it. Labs are big, but you are supersize and you are on a diet, like it or not. The new food isn't that bad..you eat cat poop for goodness sakes so you can't be all that picky! And it may be the food, or the cat poop but darling you can clear a room and I know you are sorry but don't look at us like we are being mean when we are holding our faces and running from the room. And for the love of all that's holy, can you go to another room to do that when we have company? The poor lady was gagging!!! Also, that room at the top of the steps? The one with the big white thing that holds water that we want to get you in at least every few months? It is called a bathroom, not a dog's house of horrors. It takes a half hour to get you up the steps (and a lot of dog treats) and then you go protestor limp so I have to get you in the tub. You are over 100 lbs and I am not that big...work with me because you always feel better when the torture is over. The new baby kittens are just that , real live baby kittens. I know they make noises like your favorite chew toy but they are real. You get so excited when I let you see them and you keep licking them but they are 4 weeks old and they are not sure if you are friend or foe and if you see them as friend or appetizer. Sit down and let them see you instead of tasting them!
Your pooper scooper and ear scritcher